This song was first done by Ed's Redeeming Qualities, a late '80s Boston band that was the first non-Hawaiian band I ever heard with a ukulele player. ERQ guitarist/violinist Carrie Bradley was later in The Breeders, who covered the song. These are the original lyrics. The Breeders changed or omitted many of the lyrics, which for reasons that will become obvious didn't work for a woman singer.
I recorded this for the Six Seasons of the Ukulele contest.