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View Full Version : Gave away my first uke to a friend in uke-need. Regretting it.



Lalz
04-01-2012, 10:44 AM
My first ukulele was a purple Mahalo. It had good strings on it, sounded great for an inexpensive uke and was a pleasure to play despite a couple of fret buzzes. I had many hours of fun playing it.

It found a new home yesterday after I decided that maybe I didn't need 5 ukuleles around and that it would make a friend of mine very happy to have it (she had borrowed it a couple of times before because she wants to learn and she also fell in love with it). She was indeed very happy, and I was happy for her.

But as I was about to reach out and grab it a couple of minutes ago as I often do when sitting in the sofa, it finally sunk in that it was gone. Gone! My dear beater uke! What did I do???!!! What should I do? Would it be rude to ask her to give it back? Should I get her/myself another Mahalo (or a Dolphin) to replace it? Should I just try to get over it and forget it ever existed? Should I try to see this as an opportunity to force myself not to play on a beater too much and instead spend more quality time with my other beautiful more deserving ukes?

HELP!

Pukulele Pete
04-01-2012, 10:48 AM
You have an opportunity to get a new beater uke. I always keep one on the coffee table for when I get the urge.

BeardedGent
04-01-2012, 10:50 AM
I think it would be very rude to ask for it back. Let her enjoy it, you've got other ukes you can enjoy. Share the uke-love man, and be happy about it. :shaka:

kvehe
04-01-2012, 11:00 AM
I vote for a new Mahalo or Dolphin. True, it won't be the same, but you know that your beloved first uke is in a good home. I think one always has to have a less-expensive uke close at hand. Or two. Or three. Or four.

Lalz
04-01-2012, 11:01 AM
You guys are right, I should let go. Gosh I never imagined it would feel that way to part from it! Sniff!

Lalz
04-01-2012, 11:06 AM
Updating my signature now

Plainsong
04-01-2012, 11:08 AM
Of course it would be extremely rude to ask for it back. A gift is a gift. I can't really see it as the end of the world. You have ukes to play, it'll just take some adjusting is all.

Lalz
04-01-2012, 11:13 AM
Of course it would be extremely rude to ask for it back. A gift is a gift. I can't really see it as the end of the world. You have ukes to play, it'll just take some adjusting is all.

I know, I know. I never claimed to be a very rational person ;)

mm stan
04-01-2012, 11:20 AM
Just buy another of the same one..and replace it...

Teek
04-01-2012, 11:24 AM
Play the Kala, it's just a Kala. I've sold nine of my ukes so far, including my first five and my best soprano, and have nine left with some still to sell. You'll get over it. ;)

Lalz
04-01-2012, 11:36 AM
Uh-oh.. I find myself browsing through uke websites and feeling some sort of pre-UAS kicking in ("Maybe a dolphin? Or a pineapple shaped one? Ooh, that one's pretty! Ooh, that one too! And sooo cheap!"). Dangerous.
I think I'll just forget about it, and instead of trying to replace it with another similar one that won't have the same sentimental value anyway (nor the same sound quality and playability for a cheap uke), I'll just focus on the other ukuleles I already have.
Thanks for listening to my rant and bearing with me through these few minutes of irrationality.

GinnyT11
04-01-2012, 11:55 AM
Think what would happen to your karma if you asked for it back---ackk!

You passed on happy uking spirit to another person. Yay, you! Buy a replacement, or buy a much better uke and let the Kala become your all-purpose uke. Sort of like when you buy new athletic shoes, the old ones become garden shoes.

Hippie Dribble
04-01-2012, 12:35 PM
I'm with Stan on this one Lalou. I think it's a simple answer...just buy another of the same model and re-present it as a gift to your friend. Tell her you thought it better to buy her a brand new one. Then she gives you your old baby back and you have a pigeon pair of purple ukes to seal the friendship!!!! Happy strums...

But if you decide you don't want to buy another, my own experience is that you'll get over it soon enough...maybe some weeks, though the dull ache will always be there for your lost buddy :( But what you did is priceless so you win anyway. :)

Lalz
04-01-2012, 12:36 PM
Yeah, I would never have asked for it back actually, that's not my style. I don't know what went through me for split a second haha.

Hm, get a more expensive one = good idea. I tend to think of my music instruments as friends for life, and I do consider my Kala to be a hell of a good uke even if it's mass-produced and not solid wood throughout (fantastic sound, great playability, perfect for jam sessions). BUT I am indeed much more careful with my money when a bigger single purchase is involved, than when I let tones of cheap little things call for me to buy them ("buy me! buy me!"). So aiming to get a more expensive soprano (maybe one with a different shape and tone?) would give me a few months of careful undecisive investigation and keep my mind of missing the old beater. I just need to find a reason to justify buying a new one to myself, as all my ukes have a specific function (classic high G soprano jam session one - low G fingerpicking and alternative tunings concert one - electric one for sound processing - banjo uke one for completely different sound and feel and for playing old-time american folk music).

Hm, I feel I might be pouring out what is going on in my head at the minute a liiiiitle bit too much right now... Maybe I'll stop here haha.

Lalz
04-01-2012, 12:44 PM
I'm with Stan on this one Lalou. I think it's a simple answer...just buy another of the same model and re-present it as a gift to your friend. Tell her you thought it better to buy her a brand new one. Then she gives you your old baby back and you have a pigeon pair of purple ukes to seal the friendship!!!! Happy strums...

But if you decide you don't want to buy another, my own experience is that you'll get over it soon enough...maybe some weeks, though the dull ache will always be there for your lost buddy :( But what you did is priceless so you win anyway. :)

It's a good idea but I think she'd be disappointed with another similar one. The one I gave her was one of those "one out of five" Mahalos that sound fantastic and it has perfect intonation throughout the fretboard, they're hard to come by. I also had the action adjusted and put good strings on it. She loves playing this one and for a good reason: it's a good uke despite being a cheapo.
Well, I'll just have to start playing with her often so I'll get to visit the Mahalo haha ;) (Jk, I'd play with her often regardless, as I promised I'll teach her how to play)
Next time I feel like giving a uke to someone as a present though, I'll make sure to get them one from the store rather than from my own stash hahaha.

ukecantdothat
04-01-2012, 12:59 PM
If she's like most people, it won't be long before you get it back after she gets a better one... :nana:

Lalz
04-01-2012, 01:04 PM
If she's like most people, it won't be long before you get it back after she gets a better one... :nana:

Hahaha! Well, she's a grad student on a very tight budget, so I doubt it.
I wonder: do most people really do that, or is it just us nerds on UU? It seems perfectly reasonable to me that most people would be happy with just one uke, no?

Plainsong
04-01-2012, 01:45 PM
You could sooth the pain with an Ohana sk38. The sk38 makes it all better. :D

ukezouk
04-01-2012, 02:04 PM
My two bobs worth...
If she's a friend....she'll understand your 'seperation anxiety' and would'nt be offended if you asked for it back..
What I'd do is...buy a nice Ukulele that you think is a good one...rock up to her place with this Uke..and a bunch of flowers and explain things...she'll be cool with all of the above I reckon..

Nickie
04-01-2012, 05:56 PM
Lalou,
Whether she keeps the Makala (it is hers now) or another nicer one you give her, or BOTH, like was said before, a gift is a gift. A former friend of mine gave me some nice things. Then she asked for a loan. I said 'no' because a prior loan had taken a year for her to pay back. She then proceeded to tell me 'after all the things I gave you...' They ceased to be gifts, and became leverage. It upset me so that I even threw one of them away. This sounds a little off topic, but I think you get the point. I gave away my first uke to an unemployed friend, who cherishes it, and I got a better one.
I am real big on Prosperity, and I give away a lot. It always comes back to me in ways that amaze me.
You've given your friend a great gift, soemthing you treasured, that she treasures also. And you both have a treasure in your friendship that is worth more than ukuleles. You did good!

BeardedGent
04-01-2012, 06:17 PM
I agree with all of this. I plan on giving away my Lanikai as soon as I have three ukes. I'll keep at least two so I'll have a back up. I don't know who my Lanikai will go to but I do know it'll go to someone less fortunate than I. Giving the gift of uke is one of the best gifts you could ever give to someone.


Lalou,
Whether she keeps the Makala (it is hers now) or another nicer one you give her, or BOTH, like was said before, a gift is a gift. A former friend of mine gave me some nice things. Then she asked for a loan. I said 'no' because a prior loan had taken a year for her to pay back. She then proceeded to tell me 'after all the things I gave you...' They ceased to be gifts, and became leverage. It upset me so that I even threw one of them away. This sounds a little off topic, but I think you get the point. I gave away my first uke to an unemployed friend, who cherishes it, and I got a better one.
I am real big on Prosperity, and I give away a lot. It always comes back to me in ways that amaze me.
You've given your friend a great gift, soemthing you treasured, that she treasures also. And you both have a treasure in your friendship that is worth more than ukuleles. You did good!

Lalz
04-01-2012, 11:04 PM
You could sooth the pain with an Ohana sk38. The sk38 makes it all better. :D

Ooh, the sk38 looks like an old Martin :love:
There's also those fab ukes that the Uke of Northumberland is making: http://www.theukesofnorthumberland.com/inst.htm

Thanks for your answers everyone! Now that I've come back to my senses and over my separation anxiety, I feel ok not having the uke anymore.
I'm definitely not asking for it back, don't worry, haha (I've never asked for a present back in my life, don't intend to start - and that would break her heart too as I'm sure she's already attached to it).
Hopefully she'll enjoy playing it as much as I did and if she ever upgrades she'll pass it on to someone else :)

Pukulele Pete
04-02-2012, 12:55 AM
I just got an Ohana sk20s , looks like the sk38 but with laminated sides and back. It sounds like a laminate, sounds good, looks great for a hundred bucks. Great uke for the money.

Lalz
04-02-2012, 03:13 AM
To be continued... here (http://www.ukuleleunderground.com/forum/showthread.php?62995-New-Soprano-Ohana-SK38-vs-Kiwaya-KS-1-vs-Br%FCko-6)
Started a different thread about what new go-to soprano to get, in order not to get too off-topic on this thread.
Cheers!

vanflynn
04-02-2012, 03:15 AM
I love giving away ukuleles. I always do it with the caviot that I get it back if they don't use it. This may be the case if she is too busy or just doesn't like it after playing it for a while (as if that could possibly happen!). Base your next step by looking at your anguish vice her happiness with the ukes new home. You may miss it but think of the pride you will have seeing her play (plus you now have another jamming partner)

stevepetergal
04-02-2012, 03:57 AM
The sad feeling is an important part of the gift giving process. This is what makes the gift valuable. Cherish it.

haole
04-02-2012, 04:05 AM
I know that feel. ): Gave my Makala dolphin to my cousin last summer. If he plays it, then that's awesome. If not, I'm silently hoping he'll give it back. But I don't want to be a jerk and say "sooooo....how's the ukulele playing coming?"

Lalz
04-02-2012, 04:36 AM
You guys are all so nice and supportive. If I had told all this to one of my non-uke-playing friends they would have thought I had gone mad hahaha.
Love you!

PoiDog
04-02-2012, 05:14 AM
Rather than lament the loss of one of your ukes, you should instead focus on the fact that you:

a) have several more you can use
b) made someone else very happy by spreading the uke-love

Seems to me that ought to take away any problem of not having a beater sitting around.

Lalz
04-02-2012, 05:21 AM
Rather than lament the loss of one of your ukes, you should instead focus on the fact that you:

a) have several more you can use
b) made someone else very happy by spreading the uke-love

Seems to me that ought to take away any problem of not having a beater sitting around.

Yup. Like I said earlier, I'm good now :) It was a temporary separation anxiety attack.

frankiefirefox
04-02-2012, 05:43 AM
Of course it would be extremely rude to ask for it back. A gift is a gift. I can't really see it as the end of the world. You have ukes to play, it'll just take some adjusting is all.

This totally is the way to go. I agree with Gent. Pass on the uke-love!

ukecantdothat
04-02-2012, 09:47 AM
Hahaha! Well, she's a grad student on a very tight budget, so I doubt it.
I wonder: do most people really do that, or is it just us nerds on UU? It seems perfectly reasonable to me that most people would be happy with just one uke, no?

I still say this one's comin' back like a boomerang! It does seem reasonable to be happy with one, but like all addictions, one is never enough. And like they say, the first one is always free. There's also this mangled axiom: If you love something, set it free. If it loves you, it will return. If not, uh... bust it up and make a cigar box project out of it? Something like that...

mm stan
04-02-2012, 10:21 AM
You know when I pass on ukes....I always wonder if the person is going to like it and will play it....time always tells