PDA

View Full Version : Gratitude for Supportive Partners



tigersister
08-13-2012, 07:38 PM
I'm fortunate and thankful to have a supportive spouse. :) When I mentioned wanting to take up the uke, he encouraged me to do so. When I dragged my feet about purchasing my first uke, he made it my Christmas gift for that year and took me out shopping so I could pick out my own instrument. Well today he says to me, "I think it's time to put up some more instrument hangers. I think it would be really cool looking to have your uke collection displayed up on the wall." I guess I'll be reconfiguring our instrument wall once I have it repainted this fall. Then there is the pinup tattoo he's been planning to add to his ink collection. He's decided she needs a uke. How cool is that?!! Not to mention he puts up with hours of my practicing. I'm not musically inclined, a slow learner, and probably sing off key. :rolleyes:

So I'm wondering how your significant other has supported you in your ukulele journey?

Ukeval
08-13-2012, 09:44 PM
So nice !
My wife is very supportive too. She is playing guitar (well learning too) and tried to take the uke, as I had one unused. But size was too different from her guitar and she had to stay on her principal instrument. But we are planning a ukulele guitar duet (some day...)

webby
08-13-2012, 10:06 PM
It was easy for me with my wife and ukuleles, when I bought my blue dolphin I ordered a green one for her, when I bought the Eleuke she got a brand new Tanglewood concert, when I bought the Maton....... well that's still 600 dollars credit she has in her future uke account, I haven't found her anything comparable to that yet, but she actually loves playing the Maton and I'm really enjoying the Tanglewood since it got it's new Aquilas so it looks like a swap may be on the cards anyways.

I'm so lucky that she has fallen in love with Ukes too and has supported my UAS up to this point.

Dunno what she would say if I wanted a K brand, I may have to suggest a holiday to Hawaii so she can help me choose one, yeh that oughta do it lol.

Plainsong
08-13-2012, 10:34 PM
Maybe it's because he's from a musical family. Maybe its because he favors the bass and they get by with 4 strings. Maybe it's because he's a pipe smoker, and they tend to slowly contemplate things. Maybe it's because he hated his dad's mandolin, but he's been pro-uke ever since that first look at a Koaloha neck. It was like uke solved all the problems in the mandolin, and made much more since that someone would actually play it.

He doesn't mind hearing the same thing over and over. It's just normal to him. But he doesn't want to learn new fingerings, and believes that if one plays one instrument, that the other person should play something else. It's a shame he won't give it a try, but he is completely supportive.

I feel bad when I read about unsupportive spouses and families.

The Big Kahuna
08-13-2012, 10:57 PM
This should do the trick.

41635


I should also mention that "Moominland Midwinter" is still my favourite book, 46 years after first reading it.

luluwrites
08-14-2012, 12:31 AM
My spouse is a peach.
He balances his enthusiasm for my four instrument mania with a good dose of logic -- enough to keep my UAS in check, thank goodness -- and he does it with an encouraging smile. We're both obsessive types. His passion is photography, mine at the moment is music making, and he understands how much time I spend playing.
Our family motto: Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.

Skitzic
08-14-2012, 02:45 AM
I am also blessed with a supportive husband. He is supportive almost to a fault...he never tells me no...and he really should sometimes. :)

MisterRios
08-14-2012, 03:31 AM
The girlfriend is very supportive of all my hobbies- homebrewing, baking, cooking, and ukulele. However, she's more skeptical about having more than one uke. When I got the second one, she asked "what's wrong with the one you already have?" When I got the third one, her concern was more "Where are we going to find space for all these ukuleles." Last time I talked about a fourth one, she said "If you bring a fourth ukulele into this house it better play itself."

But, no, seriously, she is very supportive and lets me practice as much as we have time for.

vanflynn
08-14-2012, 03:48 AM
My wife has been very supportive and is now getting the UAS thing. I was up to 6 ukes and am down to 3 with 3 of our freinds now playing the uke (or trying to play!) One was a gift and the other two are on loan, with an option to buy at a very reduced price if the uke bug bites them. She come to our little get togethers, holds a soprano and quitely plays a C chord (no matter the key). We all have fun and thats all that counts

PoiDog
08-14-2012, 04:47 AM
Yep. Plus one on this. My wife has endured my various explorations, and when I mentioned that I wanted to bring on the uke, she said go for it. Her patience when I was fumbling around with mis-formed chords and strumming glitches was endless. And through it all she would point out where I was improving, rather than grabbing the low-hanging fruit of selecting one of the many areas in which I sucked. And there was (and still is) plenny of those.

Great gal. I was very smart to have married her.

Freeda
08-14-2012, 04:53 AM
My hubby is awesome. He even came to UWC! He "doesn't mind" the sound of the uke, so my practicing doesn't irritate him, and if it does he just puts on headphones and plays Xbox. :) As with most of my hobbies, he thinks it is a) a little silly, b) a little expensive, and c) mostly harmless.

I married up! In so many ways. He's da bomb.

mattydee
08-14-2012, 06:24 AM
My wife, not a musician at all, is very supportive. After the first couple of weeks of me getting it worked out, she started regularly asking for 'ukulele hour.' Now we try to spend a few hours a week, me sitting and playing, and her listening and sometimes singing along. Bliss.

ksiegel
08-14-2012, 06:57 AM
My wonderful wife supports me in my playing and buying ukuleles - she knows how much it has improved my mental health after I couldn't play guitar anymore. It really helps that her father gave me my first ukulele. I now have 12 ukes. I mentioned wanting to sell a couple of them, and she told me that I can sell the one that I have a duplicate of. (The Epi Les Paul, which I have yet to list.) I am not allowed to sell any of the rest, even the one I Just Don't Play ("Because the laminated zebrawood just looks too nice!")

I, in turn, support her Yarn Acquisition Syndrome, to the point of buying knitting implements, yarn, blocking pads, storage boxes....

She often asks me to come and play while she sits and knots, and accompanies me to my monthly Uke Club meetings, knitting and singing while we all play. I haven't been able to get her to play, though - and she's the one that has had music lessons early in her life, including piano, clarinet, and guitar. I'm totally by ear.

Strange thing, though - she talking me into taking a class on spinning yarn in February, back when it looked like I'd be without use of my left arm for a while post-surgery. So I took the class. And ended up buying a wheel I described as: "All North American hardwoods - no laminates. Hand-made by a single gentleman in his garage in Toronto, so they take some time to get. The tension adjustment is a friction peg, based on the old wooden violin tuners. I sat down at the shop, and the dealer just handed me a handful of fiber, and told me to go ahead and play. Within seconds, I was totally comfortable, had the tension right where I wanted it, and started producing better product than I had on any other the other wheels I'd tried previously."

I think the last time I'd described something in this manner, it was a KoAloha Sceptre.

So she knits, I spin and play (although not simultaneously), and we have a grand old time.

Besides - she know where I try to sleep.



-Kurt

Manalishi
08-14-2012, 07:10 AM
My wife of 42 years,always supported me in my guitar playing past,
and has done the same during the past few years since i got the
ukulele bug.Although a non player herself, she loves all types of music
(more than I do in fact!) and loves to hear it played by anyone,on any
type of instrument*

* Except probably the Bagpipes,which we have in common!

RyanMFT
08-14-2012, 07:18 AM
I am also very lucky to have a supportive partner. My wife convinced me to try ukulele, and took me to buy my first when she saw I was just over the moon about it. She is always encouraging me to play, to go to my weekly uke jam, and best of all every time I show her a vintage ukulele she says "I think you should go for it". I think that since she always tells me yes to buying vintage ukuleles, I usually don't end up buying them. Just knowing that I can get it if I want it makes me keep hunting for another without always needing to own them.

I LOVE when I am playing a song and she starts singing along. This past weekend, I was playing songs from the movie "Grease" and she joined right in. The best part was when we did a duet on the song "Summer Nights". She sang John Travolta's lines and I sang Olivia Newton John's lines and we laughed the whole time.

Thanks for starting this thread, it is really nice to hear such good things about relationships......I hear the worst all the time (I'm a Marriage and Family Therapist).

Teek
08-14-2012, 07:20 AM
I had great support from my husband (once I compared it to having different bicycles). I have been buying, trying, reselling, consolidating and getting down to the keepers. I currently have 12 counting the cheap vintage wall hangers, but 4 are slated for tossing back into the river. He's okay with me buying as long as I am also selling, and I agree with that as I am trying to narrow my focus.

pootsie
08-14-2012, 07:38 AM
My wife hasn't left me yet.

OldePhart
08-14-2012, 07:38 AM
Dunno what she would say if I wanted a K brand, I may have to suggest a holiday to Hawaii so she can help me choose one, yeh that oughta do it lol.

Smart man! :)

tigersister
08-14-2012, 07:49 AM
Ukeval - An ukulele and guitar duet sounds like a splendid idea. My husband plays mandolin and he's been dropping hints about how he'd like to work on a song together.

Webby - That is so cool how she and you are sharing the learning and love of the ukulele together. A trip to Hawaii sounds like a wonderful idea. You might need to work it into your travel budget for two K brands though, just in case y'know?

Plainsong - Those posts are a little saddening for me too, but they also help me appreciate what I have at home that much more.

The Big Kahuna - I'm not sure how your post relates to supportive partners, but I am a little (okay, a lot ) dense at times. It looks like a great series of books though. I wish I had known about Moominland Midwinter when my children were younger. I have a child who has a hard time relating to his peers and stories like these would have been a comfort to him.

luluwrites - A little reality check from time to time is a good thing IMHO. It sounds like you help balance each other out. And we have adopted "Go big or go home" as our unofficial family motto as of late.

Skitzic - Just enjoy it. He trusts you and your judgement. Maybe in return you might try not zapping him with the bug zapper the next time it occurs for you to do so? :p

MisterRios - Men who cook for their girlfriends/wives are the best! I'd totally be supportive if my man took up any of those hobbies. However, I'm afraid they'd have to cut a hole in my wall and roll me out of the house eventually.

Vanflynn - :agree: It is all that counts in the end. I love seeing couples who are joyful together.

PoiDog - She sounds amazing. You were smart to marry her. You must be pretty amazing yourself. I think women tend to be generous if they are getting their needs met.

Freeda - I agree; he is awesome. It was great meeting both you and he at UWC. I definitely saw a lot of love between you two. Sometimes just having someone who puts up with our idiosyncrasies is enough. I know mine puts up with a lot of mine.

Mattydee - It sure sounds blissful. What a beautiful way to share your uke experience with you!

Ksiegel - My husband kids about being my biggest enabler. He says he supports my passions, so he can get away with some of his.

Your description of your spinning wheel made me giggle, because it did sounds so much like you were describing a uke.

Luthien - Having the people we care about, enjoying the music we produce is the best we can hope for as musicians, I think. Also, I'm not a big fan of bagpipe music either. My husband has talked about taking it up in the past. I'm so relieved he decided to take up mandolin instead.

RyanMFT - I can totally picture the "Summer Nights" thing in my mind where John Travolta and Olivia Newton John are dressed as each other's characters, and it's a hilarious picture.

I couldn't do what you do. I think it would depress me too much. It is saddening enough to see so many of our friends lose the joyfulness they once shared as a couple.

Teek - My husband is a cyclist too. I once considered it weird why anyone would want more than one and was totally shocked they could cost more than my car at the time. Once he got me used to riding a decent bike with better components, I got it. Currently, I have one more than he does and I only ride a fraction of what he does. :o

Pootsie - :rofl:

The Big Kahuna
08-14-2012, 07:58 AM
The Big Kahuna - I'm not sure how your post relates to supportive partners, but I am a little (okay, a lot ) dense at times. It looks like a great series of books though. I wish I had known about Moominland Midwinter when my children were younger. I have a child who has a hard time relating to his peers and stories like these would have been a comfort to him.

Plainsong lives in Finland, so I'm assuming her husband is Finnish. Tove Jansson, who wrote the Moomin books, was also Finnish. As far as I can ascertain, Moomintroll (the little chap in the picture) never played Ukulele, that's just me and Photoshop. My post was something along the lines of "hey, your husband isn't into the Uke, but if you persuade him that Moomintroll played one, that might get his interest".

Plainsong
08-14-2012, 07:59 AM
Moomins are as Swedish-Finnish as you can get. Not Finnish, Finlandssvenskar. My niece is named after the author. :)

I gotta save that image. Thanks!


This should do the trick.

41635


I should also mention that "Moominland Midwinter" is still my favourite book, 46 years after first reading it.

TheOnlyUkeThatMatters
08-14-2012, 08:00 AM
Sweet thread, y'all.

My wife falls in the 'very supportive' category. She loves music in general and, luckily for me, she likes my singing and uke playing. She's even started to learn to play ukulele herself. (She's a natural strummer.) Last time a uke caught my eye on craigslist, she said, "Welp, you don't have a pineapple uke, yet. If it's nice you should get it." Maybe too supportive? Nah, just right. <3

The Big Kahuna
08-14-2012, 08:01 AM
Mummins are as Swedish-Finnish as you can get. Not Finnish, Finlandssvenskar. My niece is named after the author. :)

I gotta save that image. Thanks!

My original attempt is huge, so I resized it down. If you want to use it for desktop wallpaper, let me know and I'll link you the original.

cantsing
08-14-2012, 08:07 AM
I've never been musical, so my husband was more than a little surprised when I announced that I wanted to buy an entry-level tenor and see if I could learn to play it. He encouraged me to get my Kala KA-T, and when he saw how much I enjoyed it, he was totally on board with the Mainland mahogany concert that came next.

I am still contemplating my next move--I'm not ready to take the plunge yet, but he's fine when I talk about my next ukulele. We rarely buy anything on impulse, so when one of us really wants something there's usually a lot of thought and research involved first. Which means that when the time finally comes to buy, it's easy for the other one to say, "Go for it!"

Skitzic
08-14-2012, 08:33 AM
Skitzic - Just enjoy it. He trusts you and your judgement. Maybe in return you might try not zapping him with the bug zapper the next time it occurs for you to do so? :p

I zapped him for his own good. See, when he gave me the bug zapper he said "I feel like I am going to regret this." I zapped him so he could know what it's like to be correct. So really, I was giving his self-esteem a little electronic boost.

And really, who in their right mind would give me an electric tennis racket?

fitncrafty
08-14-2012, 08:39 AM
You are blessed and lucky!! I am glad that I have a few good friends that are great supporters!! (You know who you are!)

Sporin
08-14-2012, 09:27 AM
My wife is extremely supportive of my playing, she bought me my first uke as a 40th birthday present, and she was the one who booked my first "gig."

She's much less enthusiastic about UAS but to her credit, that's really only because money is tight.

beardco
08-14-2012, 09:48 AM
It's been nice reading your stories. My wife says that anything I play sounds great, except for that repetitive practicing especially while she and the 3 year old son are taking a nap. The 3 year old says we should toss the uke and use the case for more toys. We live in our campervan, traveling around Europe right now, & he has never know a different life than living in the car & space is tight. It helps that I bought an expensive tenor uke based solely on the sound. And my 3 year old did say that the Bob Marley song I recently learned sounded great. That's a serious compliment from a 3 year old who wants to toss my little gimpy guitar out the window.

Skitzic
08-14-2012, 09:49 AM
It's been nice reading your stories. My wife says that anything I play sounds great, except for that repetitive practicing especially while she and the 3 year old son are taking a nap. The 3 year old says we should toss the uke and use the case for more toys. We live in our campervan, traveling around Europe right now, & he has never know a different life than living in the car & space is tight. It helps that I bought an expensive tenor uke based solely on the sound. And my 3 year old did say that the Bob Marley song I recently learned sounded great. That's a serious compliment from a 3 year old who wants to toss my little gimpy guitar out the window.

I just want to say that I am madly in love with your life. I wish I had the fuzzy ones to do that.

DaveY
08-14-2012, 09:53 AM
When I wanted to buy a $300 ukulele, my wife got upset - "Why not go for one that's four figures?" She restrings all of my ukes for me, every three months (to the day!), using her teeth. When my left hand gets tired, she frets the chords for me, and I strum. When my right hand gets tired - it's the opposite. When the humidity is too low, she spits into the case. When it's too high, she . . . wipes out the spit. When I screw up playing a chord, she says "You're a pioneer - people didn't get jazz at first, either! I'm going to start calling you . . . Thelonius!"

OK, I made all that up just to try to top everyone else.

Actually, she's fine. Early on she said "Why don't you play guitar?" (She paints - I never said to her "Why don't you take photographs?") I'm about to buy another uke (not close to four figures), and I'm going to have to explain why it's logical to do so (which it is, of course). She doesn't complain when I play at night, and comes to hear my daughter (a great ukenthusiast) and me at open mics, and me at paid shows.

Pueo
08-14-2012, 10:06 AM
My wife is Hawaiian and from a musical family, and even though she does not play herself, she grew up with her Grandpa, mom, aunt and uncle always playing music in the house. She has two younger sisters who dance hula, they both used to compete and one of them now teaches hula. I played guitar when I was a kid, but nearly stopped playing after high school. When I met my wife and started hanging around all the Hawaiian musicians and dancers at her parents' house, I "remembered" I could play guitar and started joining in. Then I bought an ukulele. And another, and another...
Just recently she said that she might want to take lessons - yay!

gyosh
08-14-2012, 12:39 PM
Thought I'd join the fun by posting an old thread I started a couple years back. We just got back from the festival a week and a half ago where I did actually play with one of the groups.

Best Wife Ever!!!!

Had to brag! My wonderful (and quite attractive) wife just told me that she booked our vacation around the 42nd Annual Ukulele Festival on Oahu and sent me last year's schedule of lessons in case I wanted to be a part of the festival and play in the "orchestra." She also sent me links to the "K-Brand" factory tours. . . and told me to save up so I could buy a new uke there (she doesn't know they don't sell at the factories). She's an enabler of the best kind!!

I think I mentioned this in a previous post - she's also the one who could tell I really wanted my Kamaka on our last vacation but I wouldn't pull the trigger on it because I couldn't justify the cost of buying something I couldn't play. She went back to Larry's Music and it was waiting for me in our room when I got back from taking my so to the beach.

Plainsong
08-14-2012, 01:58 PM
My original attempt is huge, so I resized it down. If you want to use it for desktop wallpaper, let me know and I'll link you the original.

I'm only a MBP 13" so it looks like your smaller version should cover it anyway. :) Ya know if he was going to have a uke with a custom inlay on it, that would seriously probably be it. The Moomins aren't just Finnish, they're so Swedish-Finnish it's amazing. It's not really Finnish culture Tove was writing about, but the culture of Swedish-speaking Finns. Not that Finnish-Finns don't love the Moomins, but I guess they meant enough to Anders and his brother that his brother named his daughter Tove. :)

Pippin
08-14-2012, 04:39 PM
My wife is a gem. Everyone loves Mary Rose. She plunks on her ukulele once in a while, but she loves it when I play guitar, ukulele, or any of the other instruments I play (well, maybe not the mandolin). I play a lot of different instruments and my wife is very enthusiastic about it all. She also loves it when I am playing my original songs or writing one. She was thrilled when LaFemme Nikita used one of my songs in the soundtrack of their show. I smiled, but, she was sooo proud.

The Big Kahuna
08-14-2012, 07:50 PM
I'm only a MBP 13" so it looks like your smaller version should cover it anyway. :) Ya know if he was going to have a uke with a custom inlay on it, that would seriously probably be it. The Moomins aren't just Finnish, they're so Swedish-Finnish it's amazing. It's not really Finnish culture Tove was writing about, but the culture of Swedish-speaking Finns. Not that Finnish-Finns don't love the Moomins, but I guess they meant enough to Anders and his brother that his brother named his daughter Tove. :)

Well here's his daughters next birthday present from you:

http://www.moominworldshop.fi/Moomin-guitar

jmw
08-15-2012, 08:35 AM
My husband is a very supportive enabler: he bought me my KoAloha pineapple. :)

Mim
08-15-2012, 09:24 AM
I told my husband I really wanted a ukulele and would probably spend $60 on it, and he said... ok... then I told him the one I really wanted was over $200... he said cool! THEN... I wanted the Eleuke, but was talking myself out of it. I could not sleep I wanted it that bad... he said, "Buy it, you deserve it!" Because of that it led to an opportunity to sell ukes in our ice cream shop. He said, "You would enjoy that! Go for it!" He has cheered me on as things have grown and grown... now I only sell ukes, he supports me and passes out more of my cards than I do, and I make myself meet certain goals in order to keep a uke as my own, and he is always supportive when I do. I am a lucky gal! We both support each other! It makes life fun! Levi is not musical as far as performance, but he loves watching me play and is super cool about everything!

Love seeing this thread! There is a lot of talk of non-supportive spouses, but more often than not I see spouses sitting back and smiling as their significant other's perform... or better yet, play along side them!

RevWill
08-15-2012, 09:36 AM
My first wife tolerated the uke but made it clear she'd rather I stuck with guitar. Like, "every time I played the uke" clear.

My wife now loves it. She bugged me to get the uke hangers up in the new house right away. She loves it when I play. She's currently picking out songs for me to come in and sing to/with her first grade classroom. She's an amazing encourager. Just one more reason I love her.

Kerry1976
08-15-2012, 12:44 PM
I am a newbie, but my fiancÚ really supports me. I started with a Kala Soprano and just purchased a b-stock Mainland Concert. He picks me up after the weekly strum and sing (I walk there) and we even picked up a cheap little soprano for his son to try to learn. We have even talked a little about him maybe learning a bit too, but we'll see. He even reminded me that I really need to go to a uke group gig later in the month (would be my first). I have multiple degrees in music composition, but playing in front of people was crippling and painful. I removed myself from music for a while. The uke is my attempt to open the door and it has been the perfect venue to learn to love music and find joy again and I am appreciative that he supports this.