Justifying the uke

NatalieS

NatalieS

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I need to see how you all feel about this.

Whenever I tell someone I play ukulele, I'm proud of it. But for some reason, if they see my uke and start asking about the cost of it, I'm uncomfortable discussing that and get very self-conscious. Some people seem flabbergasted that a uke can cost more than $100, so I'm extremely reluctant to reveal my custom uke's real value. I guess I'm afraid of coming across as pretentious or rich, two things which I am not. I live really modestly in most respects. I have cheap clothes, I refuse to pay for a smart phone, and I hardly use the A/C (in Florida!) to save money. So my uke is by far the most cost I've ever put into a possession.

I'm also not a great uke player. I play for happiness and fun, I don't know how to play scales or know music theory, and I sure as heck am not a professional quality uker. So I tend to seize up when someone wants to get into a discussion about having such a high quality instrument, because I feel that they'll view it as ridiculous.

I feel that this would not be the case if I were playing, say, a really nice guitar. So what is it about playing a nice uke that makes me become self-deprecating whenever someone brings it up? I have no clue. But I'd love to know if any of you feel the same way.
 
People who ask you what your things cost are rude. Period. They deserve no explanation whatsoever.

And never, ever feel like you need to justify the fact that you own a great instrument. They aren't reserved for virtuosos. Love it, enjoy it, and don't give a darn about what anyone else thinks.
 
It's very simple. You don't have to justify yourself, or your choice of a ukulele, or the amount you spent on one, to anyone else. Period. Full stop. End of story. When they start paying your bills, then they may have a right to know how you are spending your money. Until then, they can butt-out.

Now...for close friends who are genuinely interested, it doesn't hurt to explain that having a very high-quality musical instrument makes it far more likely that a player, whatever their current skill level, will progress to become a better player.

Finally...this whole idea of "I need to be good enough to justify owning such and such an instrument" is pure and utter bullpooh! The instrumen you play must be good enough to justify your spending your valuable time with it, not the opposite. I so wish I could get people to understand that!

John
 
Some people are just inquisitive....and want to learn and not judge....if they are not too shallow on what materialic things cost...
I tend not to talk about prices unless they are truely intrested in getting a uke like mine or ukers with intrest to buy...
for non ukers, that may be a different story....I just say, not that much but I get a whole lot of enjoyment outta it....LOL
If it makes you happy girl, that is all that matters...it's your money and it's nobodys business anyways...:)
 
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You all make a lot of sense. Your comments have made me think about why I'm among so many people who are this way, and I think it's because I'm a student. I've been a "poor starving college student" for 11 years :( , and I'm among many others who are in the same situation. None of us has a lot of money, so when a person gets something nice, someone always pipes up and says, "Wow, what did you pay for that?" I think in many cases, people are just being curious and not meaning to be rude; however, it makes me really uncomfortable. But you guys have definitely helped me justify why I have this instrument. I may not be an awesome player but uke does bring me an incredible amount of happiness, so in that respect it's definitely worth it. :) I just wish people weren't the way they are, constantly asking others how much their things cost. Unfortunately it's somehow become accepted for 20-somethings, just starting out in the world, to compare each other's success/wealth/possessions. I hate it.
 
NatalieS said:
You all make a lot of sense. Your comments have made me think about why I'm among so many people who are this way, and I think it's because I'm a student. I've been a "poor starving college student" for 11 years :( , and I'm among many others who are in the same situation. None of us has a lot of money, so when a person gets something nice, someone always pipes up and says, "Wow, what did you pay for that?" I think in many cases, people are just being curious and not meaning to be rude; however, it makes me really uncomfortable. But you guys have definitely helped me justify why I have this instrument. I may not be an awesome player but uke does bring me an incredible amount of happiness, so in that respect it's definitely worth it. :) I just wish people weren't the way they are, constantly asking others how much their things cost. Unfortunately it's somehow become accepted for 20-somethings, just starting out in the world, to compare each other's success/wealth/possessions. I hate it.
Click to expand...

You have received some great feedback. Glad that you feel better about your uke, and from the sound sample you put up you are a fine player. I don't think I would ever ask anyone how much something cost, it's really not my business. Maybe only a close friend if I was intrested in purchasing something similar..
Has nothing to do with your uke or playing but from someone that has lived in Florida wow hardly ever use your air conditioning. My husband has the air running in our house more than I would like in NY and it isn't near as hot here..humid yes. What's your secret? :)
Have a great night and enjoy your uke..
 
NatalieS said:
You all make a lot of sense. Your comments have made me think about why I'm among so many people who are this way, and I think it's because I'm a student. I've been a "poor starving college student" for 11 years :( , and I'm among many others who are in the same situation. None of us has a lot of money, so when a person gets something nice, someone always pipes up and says, "Wow, what did you pay for that?" I think in many cases, people are just being curious and not meaning to be rude; however, it makes me really uncomfortable. But you guys have definitely helped me justify why I have this instrument. I may not be an awesome player but uke does bring me an incredible amount of happiness, so in that respect it's definitely worth it. :) I just wish people weren't the way they are, constantly asking others how much their things cost. Unfortunately it's somehow become accepted for 20-somethings, just starting out in the world, to compare each other's success/wealth/possessions. I hate it.
Click to expand...
A good reply to "Wow, what did you pay for that?" is simply - not as much as it means to me.
Folks are normally inquisitive. How much would a student pay for a laptop computer which will be out of date in three years?
Essentially, it is none of their business and you don't have to justify anything. I would go without something else to own a good musical instrument.
Cheers
Tom
 
Natalie,

If your 'friends' are judging you for something you LOVE to do......are they really your friends? My friends know I play uke. Some think it's funny, some don't care. But NONE of them look down or criticize me for it! If it makes you HAPPY, that's one of the BEST reasons to play!! I'm right there with you, seriously!

Take heart in the fact you have REAL ukulele friends here at UU.

Scott
 
It's odd how society works...They'll ask you how much you bought something and for the most part, people oblige and let them know. However, people are so secretative about salary.

I know for the longest time I refused to buy or play a uke because it sounded like a cheap instrument. Where I really lucked out on was I started with a Koaloha (purchased without playing) and the sound from that baby was so awesome that I was hooked. I am still embarassed about how much it costs but I am embarassed about most of my possessions.
 
NatalieS said:
I feel that this would not be the case if I were playing, say, a really nice guitar.
Click to expand...
Not really. I bought a luthier-made guitar (used) for a bit over $2K when I was driving a car that was worth a fraction of that. Most everyone at work thought I was crazy to spend that much on a used guitar. I'm not into clothes or jewelry or image and I had saved my pennies for a long time before I even started looking. One person who "got it" was another secretary who had spent $5K on a Rolex (the most expensive watch I've ever owned is a Seiko).
 
Having traveled a emotionally "dark path" much of my life, I usually judged the things other people said/didn't say and did/didn't do as a a reflection on my basic worth as a person. I've since discovered that people are rarely as sinister as I made them out to be. Even if I discovered they were, it still wasn't a reflection on my worth. I am ok regardless of what they say or do. I don't buy my ukes to please others and for the first time, I bought a uke have been coveting a long time, just because I deserve it, and to top it off, I bought it from an incredibly sweet uker that lives in the Tampa area. I'll paraphrase a rather famous quote: "forgive them Natalie, for they know not what they do." :cool:
 
itsme said:
Not really. I bought a luthier-made guitar (used) for a bit over $2K when I was driving a car that was worth a fraction of that. Most everyone at work thought I was crazy to spend that much on a used guitar. I'm not into clothes or jewelry or image and I had saved my pennies for a long time before I even started looking. One person who "got it" was another secretary who had spent $5K on a Rolex (the most expensive watch I've ever owned is a Seiko).
Click to expand...
Wow Mrs S,
My most expensive was a Seiko too long long ago....now this has been my 5th ironman timex watch and I just love them...good time, large numbers and great features...need I need more...nah
 
Tell 'em: "If ya have to ask, ya can't afford it!"

Or just say: "I'll never tell!" :)
 
PhilUSAFRet said:
I don't buy my ukes to please others and for the first time, I bought a uke have been coveting a long time, just because I deserve it, and to top it off, I bought it from an incredibly sweet uker that lives in the Tampa area.
Click to expand...

:) This makes me happy.

I thank you all for helping me. I think this is something in my head that I'm going to have to get over. I'm the one that worries about it when it happens, I need to be able to shrug it off and not feel like I have to address it or justify myself.
 
I'll say the same things I always say in this situation:

If you ski, you'll spend hundreds of dollars on equpment and another big chunk on lift tickets every time you go

If you golf, you'll spend hundreds (or thousands) on a good set of clubs and then a ton of money on greens fees.

For a fraction of that, you can buy a fine musical instrument that, with proper care, will last more or less forever and provide you and the people around you with immense pleasure.

It's a no brainer.
 
fitncrafty said:
Has nothing to do with your uke or playing but from someone that has lived in Florida wow hardly ever use your air conditioning. My husband has the air running in our house more than I would like in NY and it isn't near as hot here..humid yes. What's your secret? :)
Click to expand...

Lots of ceiling fans, iced drinks, and not wearing much around the house. (Now now, I mean tank tops and shorts, nothing less than that, haha.) It's been a slow acclimation, but I can keep the house in the mid-80s and stay pretty comfy. :) When I walk into a normal air-conditioned building, like a mall, I freeze!

RichM said:
I'll say the same things I always say in this situation:

If you ski, you'll spend hundreds of dollars on equpment and another big chunk on lift tickets every time you go

If you golf, you'll spend hundreds (or thousands) on a good set of clubs and then a ton of money on greens fees.

For a fraction of that, you can buy a fine musical instrument that, with proper care, will last more or less forever and provide you and the people around you with immense pleasure.

It's a no brainer.
Click to expand...

Wow, absolutely true. There are many expensive hobbies out there! And many of them are a lot sillier than playing an instrument. :)
 
Where I live, strangers often ask the most invasive questions like how much you make or why you're not married yet or if you are why don't you have any kids etc. It's a cultural thing, I guess like it's rude not to ask. I get asked a lot and while I don't have a custom (yet), my ukes are pretty expensive in this part of the world. In the end I just lie and say it costs 1/3 of whatever it costs. It's easier than having to try to explain.
 
One pays for what they value --- So you value your music interludes and the enjoyment they bring you.
Some may think you foolish and some may be envious in either case it's their own drama and not
something you need to take on. Am right up there with you in being willing to pay for the opportunity
to play an instrument that gives you every reason to never put it down. Just invested in a custom Mya
Moe this evening after buying a couple that were up for new homes. Love them enough to finally invest in an
instrument that i have to wait a number of months to get. But at last it will have all the features that i have
wanted to have. What a great day it will be when it's done and i get to enjoy such a beautiful Ukelele.
 
If someone asks me how much something costs and I think that they are out of line for asking, I answer with a question.

How much do you weigh?
How old are you? or
How much do you make for a living?

This usually gets the point across.
 
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