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Shazzbot
11-28-2012, 04:47 PM
Not sure what forum to put this in:

Suspects Wanted in West Seattle Ukulele Attack

Written by Jonah Spangenthal-Lee on November 28, 2012 at 3:24 pm


An attack by a ukulele-wielding shoplifter left a convenience store employee battered and bloodied Tuesday evening in West Seattle.

Around 9:15 pm, two suspectsóa white male and a white female, both around 22 years oldówalked into a gas station near Delridge Way SW and SW Myrtle Street and tried to shoplift a six-pack of Olde English beer.

A store employee confronted the suspects, ordered them to put the beer back, and then told them he was calling 911.

The male suspect argued with the employee and then hit him over the head with a ukulele, shattering the instrument and cutting the victimís scalp.

When officers arrived on scene, they found the employee bleeding profusely from the back of his head. The suspects had fled.

Officers were only able to get a vague description of the suspects from the victimówho was taken to Highline Hospital for treatmentóbut the case has been forwarded to the Robbery Unit for more investigation.

If you have any information which might help detectives find the suspects, please contact the Robbery Unit at (206) 684-5540.

Harold O.
11-28-2012, 05:30 PM
Tahitian ukes are solid bodied and could make for deadly weapons if wielded correctly.

Shazzbot
11-28-2012, 05:46 PM
All my ukuleles have solid alibis.

mm stan
11-28-2012, 06:19 PM
Wow broke his scalp.....there you go, must have been a well made uke, still not worth it for a pack of beer.....anyday

Rubio MHS
11-28-2012, 06:35 PM
Tahitian ukes are solid bodied and could make for deadly weapons if wielded correctly.

Damnit! I was going to post a joke about Tahitian ukes!

Nickie
11-28-2012, 06:35 PM
Dayum. I hope they catch him soon! That's a terrible thing to do to a uke!

Bill Mc
11-28-2012, 08:39 PM
No laughing matter to me. Low lifes with no respect for another human being. Where I live in Filthydelphia Pa. convenience store clerks and small shop owners get murdered with guns constantly. Often they are immigrants tring to get started in a new country. A Brazilian pizza delivery guy just a few blocks away from me last year after being in America for only a few weeks ! And within the past three months an immigrant from Africa shot down operating his clothing store and an immigrant from China murdered in front of his wife who was holding their new born at their take out store. So sorry to spoil the joke.

Lalz
11-28-2012, 09:41 PM
I agree with Bill. This is no laughing matter. Someone got brutally assaulted and injured.

powerpuffs
11-28-2012, 10:30 PM
"the ukulele is the instrument of peace"

cahaya
11-29-2012, 01:19 AM
No laughing matter to me. Low lifes with no respect for another human being. Where I live in Filthydelphia Pa. convenience store clerks and small shop owners get murdered with guns constantly. Often they are immigrants tring to get started in a new country. A Brazilian pizza delivery guy just a few blocks away from me last year after being in America for only a few weeks ! And within the past three months an immigrant from Africa shot down operating his clothing store and an immigrant from China murdered in front of his wife who was holding their new born at their take out store. So sorry to spoil the joke.

Almost like hell on earth to me. A terrible place to raise the kids I might add.

dnewton2
11-29-2012, 02:57 AM
It is not funny at all about the assualt. But Olde English? Really? A six pack? What is this world coming to?

Plainsong
11-29-2012, 03:59 AM
Other than wondering what uke makes the best weapon of choice? Tahitian? News reporters wouldn't know what those even are. Solid bodies would be good candidates, as would the business end of a Fluke (more surface area than a Flea). And what about an Applause or those roundback Ohanas?

Of course assaults and violence aren't funny. But certainly you can see the ironic side. Something that makes music, used as a weapon. But for all that, I don't think we have to worry that the perp knows a single chord. Must have been a nice lightly built uke to shatter on impact though. And that taste in booze is too horrible to speak of.

In all seriousness, I hope the victim is ok and they catch the thugs that did this.

hoosierhiver
11-29-2012, 04:25 AM
I will guess that he stole the ukulele earlier that day.

Phooto
11-29-2012, 04:42 AM
A Risa stick or Eleuke Peanut would be very good weapons and likely would not shatter.

Personally as a photographer, I keep a decent heavy duty monopod by the door in case of aggressive intruders. :)

000Kanaka000
11-29-2012, 07:06 AM
They can't be uke players, as there was no aloha spirit at all.

Hope they weren't wearing the I have a uke and am not afraid
to use it T-Shirt. Just puts a whole different spin on it am afraid.
Am familiar with that area as used to live right over the hill from it.

didgeridoo2
11-29-2012, 07:14 AM
It is not funny at all about the assualt. But Olde English? Really? A six pack? What is this world coming to?

I drink Olde English 40s, like my man Snoop.

dnewton2
11-29-2012, 08:13 AM
I drink Olde English 40s, like my man Snoop.

Its cool in 40 form, but a 6 pack of olde english?

Phooto
11-29-2012, 08:27 AM
Just looked up this "Olde English" thing. What the hell has that got to do with English Beer? It's bordering on libel. :)

davo17
11-29-2012, 11:12 AM
We won't be safe until they ban guns and ukuleles!


Ukes don't kill , people do!

Plainsong
11-29-2012, 11:22 AM
We won't be safe until they ban guns and ukuleles!


Ukes don't kill , people do!

.. And monkeys do too, IF they've gotta gun. - Eddie Izzard

didgeridoo2
11-29-2012, 11:35 AM
I have a permit to carry a uke, and sometimes I keep a tangi mini strapped to my ankle as a backup. That's just how I roll...

davo17
11-29-2012, 03:09 PM
curious, I never really thought about how painful it would be to have a bridge jump off of you.

MutinousDoug
11-29-2012, 04:58 PM
[Content removed by moderator]

Complaint received.

Please don't post comments that disparage other people's religions.

Thanks.

MutinousDoug
11-29-2012, 05:00 PM
curious, I never really thought about how painful it would be to have a bridge jump off of you.
FUNNY: In Russia, Bridge jump off at you! LOL

MutinousDoug
11-29-2012, 05:07 PM
Just looked up this "Olde English" thing. What the hell has that got to do with English Beer? It's bordering on libel. :)

This "Olde Englishe" has NOTHING to do with English beer.
Really!
Trust me
(although some of you guys do seem to have a drinking problem [as viewed from the international stage, at least])

joeybug
11-30-2012, 01:45 AM
This "Olde Englishe" has NOTHING to do with English beer.
Really!
Trust me
(although some of you guys do seem to have a drinking problem [as viewed from the international stage, at least])

Yeah, coz you Americans all drink in moderation, right?! :D

Skrik
11-30-2012, 02:32 AM
Ehm... Without further comment (http://198.173.235.195/stickman/stickman_1451.html).

dnewton2
11-30-2012, 03:08 AM
Yeah, coz you Americans all drink in moderation, right?! :D

If we, Americans, drink at all it is definatly in moderations. :)

cahaya
11-30-2012, 05:00 AM
Never seen a Tahitian uke before so thought I google it. My!!! that must have hurt bad
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