Uke attack reported!

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Not sure what forum to put this in:

Suspects Wanted in West Seattle Ukulele Attack

Written by Jonah Spangenthal-Lee on November 28, 2012 at 3:24 pm


An attack by a ukulele-wielding shoplifter left a convenience store employee battered and bloodied Tuesday evening in West Seattle.

Around 9:15 pm, two suspects—a white male and a white female, both around 22 years old—walked into a gas station near Delridge Way SW and SW Myrtle Street and tried to shoplift a six-pack of Olde English beer.

A store employee confronted the suspects, ordered them to put the beer back, and then told them he was calling 911.

The male suspect argued with the employee and then hit him over the head with a ukulele, shattering the instrument and cutting the victim’s scalp.

When officers arrived on scene, they found the employee bleeding profusely from the back of his head. The suspects had fled.

Officers were only able to get a vague description of the suspects from the victim—who was taken to Highline Hospital for treatment—but the case has been forwarded to the Robbery Unit for more investigation.

If you have any information which might help detectives find the suspects, please contact the Robbery Unit at (206) 684-5540.
 
Wow broke his scalp.....there you go, must have been a well made uke, still not worth it for a pack of beer.....anyday
 
Tahitian ukes are solid bodied and could make for deadly weapons if wielded correctly.

Damnit! I was going to post a joke about Tahitian ukes!
 
Dayum. I hope they catch him soon! That's a terrible thing to do to a uke!
 
No laughing matter to me. Low lifes with no respect for another human being. Where I live in Filthydelphia Pa. convenience store clerks and small shop owners get murdered with guns constantly. Often they are immigrants tring to get started in a new country. A Brazilian pizza delivery guy just a few blocks away from me last year after being in America for only a few weeks ! And within the past three months an immigrant from Africa shot down operating his clothing store and an immigrant from China murdered in front of his wife who was holding their new born at their take out store. So sorry to spoil the joke.
 
No laughing matter to me. Low lifes with no respect for another human being. Where I live in Filthydelphia Pa. convenience store clerks and small shop owners get murdered with guns constantly. Often they are immigrants tring to get started in a new country. A Brazilian pizza delivery guy just a few blocks away from me last year after being in America for only a few weeks ! And within the past three months an immigrant from Africa shot down operating his clothing store and an immigrant from China murdered in front of his wife who was holding their new born at their take out store. So sorry to spoil the joke.

Almost like hell on earth to me. A terrible place to raise the kids I might add.
 
Other than wondering what uke makes the best weapon of choice? Tahitian? News reporters wouldn't know what those even are. Solid bodies would be good candidates, as would the business end of a Fluke (more surface area than a Flea). And what about an Applause or those roundback Ohanas?

Of course assaults and violence aren't funny. But certainly you can see the ironic side. Something that makes music, used as a weapon. But for all that, I don't think we have to worry that the perp knows a single chord. Must have been a nice lightly built uke to shatter on impact though. And that taste in booze is too horrible to speak of.

In all seriousness, I hope the victim is ok and they catch the thugs that did this.
 
A Risa stick or Eleuke Peanut would be very good weapons and likely would not shatter.

Personally as a photographer, I keep a decent heavy duty monopod by the door in case of aggressive intruders. :)
 
They can't be uke players, as there was no aloha spirit at all.

Hope they weren't wearing the I have a uke and am not afraid
to use it T-Shirt. Just puts a whole different spin on it am afraid.
Am familiar with that area as used to live right over the hill from it.
 
Just looked up this "Olde English" thing. What the hell has that got to do with English Beer? It's bordering on libel. :)
 
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