PDA

View Full Version : hiding it from the *other half*



bnolsen
03-05-2013, 09:36 AM
Okay, I have to confess, for Christmas I got myself a concert fluke, a good deal at the time. So it's more than 2 months later and I haven't told the other half. I keep the fluke stashed on top of some cabinets and play it sometimes when she's not in the vicinity. Well, I also keep it out of sight of the rug rats as well. I still mostly play the kid's ukes, they're laying around all over the place anyways and always want to be tuned up and played when they want to be picked up.

So I guess I've gone more than 2 months having this one without the other half knowing. I guess the best way to deal with this is just to play it some day when she's around and see if she says anything.

Oh yeah and I have a new bari coming in the mail too, a deal i couldn't pass up.

Any suggestions, other stories?

The Big Kahuna
03-05-2013, 09:40 AM
Sorry, I was expecting something else.

I'll be moving along.

mm stan
03-05-2013, 09:47 AM
most non uker spouses wont notice if you got more than 3 ukes....they all look the same if you get the standard shape and color...LOL

RonT
03-05-2013, 09:55 AM
What works for me with bamboo flyrods is to have one beat up rod tube, out empty, back full. When eventually discovered, alibi it off with some impromptu explanation about a 'good deal'. Gets kinda' quiet for awhile. I think she caught on long ago.
R

Freeda
03-05-2013, 10:11 AM
Okay, I have to confess, for Christmas I got myself a concert fluke, a good deal at the time. So it's more than 2 months later and I haven't told the other half. I keep the fluke stashed on top of some cabinets and play it sometimes when she's not in the vicinity. Well, I also keep it out of sight of the rug rats as well. I still mostly play the kid's ukes, they're laying around all over the place anyways and always want to be tuned up and played when they want to be picked up.

So I guess I've gone more than 2 months having this one without the other half knowing. I guess the best way to deal with this is just to play it some day when she's around and see if she says anything.

Oh yeah and I have a new bari coming in the mail too, a deal i couldn't pass up.

Any suggestions, other stories?

Cowboy up!

I just told hubby I'm on a wait list for a custom. He didn't bat an eye.

Stevelele
03-05-2013, 10:13 AM
you'd better tell her. maybe do it by making up a song and playing it on the uke to confess


Okay, I have to confess, for Christmas I got myself a concert fluke, a good deal at the time. So it's more than 2 months later and I haven't told the other half. I keep the fluke stashed on top of some cabinets and play it sometimes when she's not in the vicinity. Well, I also keep it out of sight of the rug rats as well. I still mostly play the kid's ukes, they're laying around all over the place anyways and always want to be tuned up and played when they want to be picked up.

So I guess I've gone more than 2 months having this one without the other half knowing. I guess the best way to deal with this is just to play it some day when she's around and see if she says anything.

Oh yeah and I have a new bari coming in the mail too, a deal i couldn't pass up.

Any suggestions, other stories?

Dan Uke
03-05-2013, 10:21 AM
Wait until your Bday!

Stackabones
03-05-2013, 10:21 AM
Tell the truth. Quit hiding. Serenade her.

Mivo
03-05-2013, 10:30 AM
You could always claim that it came together with the bari, but it's a slippery slope. In my case, she has her hobbies, I have mine. :) Honesty is usually best (although not always easiest in the short run, it tends to also be simplest in the long term), so I'd just mention it to her.

missameeames
03-05-2013, 10:32 AM
I've purchased quite a few ukes without telling my husband. I wasn't hiding it from him, I just never felt the need to tell him. He doesn't tell me about every kiting related purchase he makes because I'm just not interested. He's not too interested in my ukes, so I just don't talk about them. I would sell off some of my own things and have a paypal balance, or use my own personal money from gifts to fund them, so I never had a credit card or debit charge to explain. Months would go by before he'd notice and say "Is that another new ukulele?" to which I'd respond "Well, I've had it for a few months. Have you not seen this one before?" I'm guessing they all look the same to him. The same wouldn't apply to guitars, though! He'd definitely notice a new one, in which case I'd have some explaining to do.

bildio
03-05-2013, 10:39 AM
most non uker spouses wont notice if you got more than 3 ukes....they all look the same if you get the standard shape and color...LOL

So, far it's been working for me. I think my luck's about to run out, because I'm expecting a baritone in the next couple of days & she may be the one that's home to sign for it. She'll be curious about what's in a box that size. I just had a birthday & she gave me cash for a gift. So, I'll probably tell her it's my present, -----. Actually, it is my birthday present, so no problem.

vanflynn
03-05-2013, 10:41 AM
Can you say "precious gems"?
Presented with a love song on your new Fluke?

Don't spring both new ones on her at once. Try the concert -vs- soprano line. Then if that works the deep tone of a baritone.

BTW once you hit #4 they become "all those ukes" which mean she stopped counting. Then you got the green light!

gyosh
03-05-2013, 10:57 AM
Man up.


Quit making your wife the bad guy.

cigarfan
03-05-2013, 11:10 AM
Always good to own up. So many other (more important things) affected when trust is gone.

wallyboy
03-05-2013, 11:25 AM
bit different to you , wife bought me concert uke for xmas, and when she went out i used to play it, still haven't told her,
in your case learn her favourite song and serenade her with it, make a little speech before you play song, saying how you bought it to play it especialy for her, and how much you love her,

OldePhart
03-05-2013, 11:37 AM
:confused:

Yeah...we all joke around from time to time about "hiding" our UAS slip-ups but the OP sounds serious and that means that there are so many replies I want to make to this post - but at least half of them probably sound sexist or something now days.

So, I'll only say this. I've been married 35 years next month. I've never really tried to hide a purchase from my wife and I can't even imagine living that long with someone who I felt I needed to hide a purchase from (or who I felt I needed her permission to spend my own money any blessed way I see fit short of on other womenses). And lest that sound sexist, it works the other way, too. 'nuff said.

John

aquadan
03-05-2013, 12:17 PM
You're never going to be able to really enjoy it as long as you have to keep it hidden with bottled up guilt. And you're only going to make yourself look worse the longer you wait.

Something else to consider, she may already know about it and is waiting for you to come clean.

Nicko
03-05-2013, 12:22 PM
Hey, how angry could she possibly become, right? Likely she'll forgive you at some point. Possibly be angrier that you didn't trust her to react well than that you bought a uke.

Can't speak re your marriage, but this would not be a good approach for our relationship at our place.

wayfarer75
03-05-2013, 12:30 PM
Well, it's not like you're hiding a custom worth a few thousand. Serenade her with the fluke and offer to teach her.

But I don't hide purchases unless it's my husband's birthday present. Just saying.

NewKid
03-05-2013, 12:57 PM
Ukuleles: the gateway lie. What's next?

bnolsen
03-05-2013, 12:57 PM
In a way all of this is kind of tongue in cheek. For this type stuff she doesn't really seem to mind. And she probably already notices the ukuleles we have now are all owned by the kids. Also I have a few ocarinas that have been on and off popping up in the past few months. I also didn't mention that I sold a few things last year that I think covered the cost of most of these.

Monami
03-05-2013, 01:18 PM
I agree with stackabones and syfc ;)

BigSkyUkuleleGirl
03-05-2013, 01:24 PM
I would fess up - or at least not hide it. Just play it and if she says anything say, "this old thing.....had it for awhile now."

Thru a series of events last fall I ended up getting a 12 string Taylor guitar that I didn't mention to hubby for over a month and it was kind of stressful for me to keep it a secret. Now I just tell him and he doesn't really seem to mind except the obligatory "just, how many (ukes, guitars) do you need anyway?"

Paul December
03-05-2013, 02:55 PM
The first time I went to Brazil, I unwittingly spent the night out with a beautiful woman who was "hiding it"...
...compared to that, you dilemma sounds minor.

twistedsoda
03-05-2013, 03:03 PM
Well luckily for me, my guy was with me when I bought my first one. 50$ for a lanakai. I also spent 20$ at a fleamarket for a plastic uke. I've since gotten a few down the line that have cost me a couple hundred bucks each. He thinks they are all still about 50$. I don't hide them but I don't tell him how much they are worth. The kamaka is in the mail.

Katz-in-Boots
03-05-2013, 03:36 PM
Man up.
Quit making your wife the bad guy.

I like this response. If I feel the need to hide something from my DH, it is because I feel guilty, not because he's an ogre.

In my case, shortly after buying my 'uke for life' Kanilea K1, I somehow also bought a KoAloha slimline concert. Not cheapies. I haven't told him yet and I know the reason is that I feel guilty.
I didn't need it, but I wanted it. Money is short at the moment, so it was wrong of me to spend that money. He doesn't ask exact amounts, just "Thousands or Hundreds?"

Even though I feel guilty, I'll be showing it off to him the day it gets here. He loves me & wants me to be happy, so he accepts my obsessions (and they're cheaper than some of my previous obsessions).
When he gets home from work we'll sit on the deck together strumming. He'll be happy playing his Smiley Face Mahalo, with original strings & he doesn't feel the need to upgrade in any way. And I'll be playing a KoAloha or Kanilea.
16 year wedding anniversary today.

OldePhart
03-05-2013, 04:07 PM
the first time i went to brazil, i unwittingly spent the night out with a beautiful woman who was "hiding it"...
...compared to that, you dilemma sounds minor.

tmi! Tmi!

Paul December
03-05-2013, 04:12 PM
tmi! Tmi!

:o I swear all "Coco" and I did was samba!

OldePhart
03-05-2013, 04:28 PM
:o I swear all "Coco" and I did was samba!

Heh, heh. I had this guy that worked for me years ago when I was in the Air Force. One night the song "Lola" came on the radio in the shop and he was talking about how it was his favorite song. I knew he'd been a DJ before he enlisted and I made some comment about it being kind of strange for a straight guy to select that as a favorite. He couldn't understand what was so strange about meeting a girl in a bar... I made him actually listen to the lyrics and he was like, "gee, I never realized that song was about a tranny, I used to play that as my theme song at the beginning of my show every night on the radio!" :biglaugh:

Hmmm...I guess we're kind of derailing the original thread. Sorry. Move along folks, nothing to see here...

John


John

Hippie Dribble
03-05-2013, 09:09 PM
oh dear...is there a doc in the house? I needs to lie down now... :p

gringo
03-06-2013, 07:40 AM
To quote Luke the Drifter,"You see these lumps on my head? Well I didn't get them from laying at home in the bed. I've been down this road before."

I've bought and sold many guitars and have the herd thinned down to 8. So with a corner of one room guitar cases my wife never notices when another is added or when one has moved on. As I am new to ukulele I think I'll follow my proven method. The more you have the less she will notice. I hope this helps with your situation.

Freeda
03-06-2013, 08:40 AM
:o I swear all "Coco" and I did was samba!

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Stackabones
03-06-2013, 10:09 AM
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

We used to call it the horizontal mambo.

Nicko
03-06-2013, 10:12 AM
Samba...mambo. You know what they say: dancing is just desublimated sex...or do I have that wrong way 'round? :confused:

ricdoug
03-06-2013, 10:37 AM
Hiding something from a woman?! LOL! Not even Houdini could do that. Fess up before it's too late. She already knows. Ric

addicted2myuke
03-06-2013, 10:50 AM
Just start playing. She probably won't notice. When I got my 3rd uke, my husband looked at it and said "where did you get that?" I just looked at him and said "I bought it" That was the end of that. Unless you are so broke that you have to dive into a dumpster to get a peach pit, I wouldn't worry about it. Ukes are one of the most inexpensive instruments you can buy. Tell her to be thankful they are not guitars. Those that don't play, don't understand the addiction. Good luck.

Ubutunes
03-06-2013, 02:16 PM
I went through a traumatic experience with my spouse around a guitar purchase that I had not talked to her about. Admittedly it was a much more expensive instrument, but the deceit and potential damage to a relationship don't care about how much $, it is the lie at the heart of it that is the issue. I wish I hadn't lied then, and I don't lie now. Pony up and explain what happened and work through it.
YMMV