Typical Customer

Timbuck

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 10, 2009
Messages
6,607
Reaction score
1,836
Location
Stockton on Tees..North East UK.
He asks for the action to be set exactly 2.75 mm at the 12th fret....feels down the neck sides for any sharp end frets...He tells me he prefers the "French Polish" finish because it improves the tonal qualities...queries the slight intonation that only he can hear on the "C" string at the 10th fret...Wants it stringing with classical guitar strings instead of Aquila's...And then he tunes it up with his own digital super dooper tuner...I stand back and prepare myself to hear a rendition of "While my Ukulele weeps" or even some outstanding performence composed by Roy Smeck ..or better still Something Classical...and what do I get???...A less than average verse and middle 8 of "Five Foot Two" in "C".:wallbash:

Has anybody else met this Guy ?;)
 
At least it wasn't Tiptoe Through the Tulips :)

I think I have met that guy - or at least a close relative - thinks that if everything about the instrument is "just so", then he will be able to play amazingly.... seems it's the action, or brand of string, or whatever that's been holding him back all this time.
 
I think we've all met people like this in all walks of life.

I recall sitting on a beach car park watching some guy spend what seemed like an eternity carefully waxing his very exclusive, very expensive, custom surfboard, sat as it was on a pair of custom trestles, measuring the exact placement of his fin with a ruler, before donning his absolute top of the line wetsuit and marching off to the water.

He carefully studied the surf whilst doing his stretches in a very studious rendition of a scene from Endless Summer, before finally entering the water - whereupon he splashed around like a holidaymaker in the whitewater, generally getting in the way and making himself look like a bit of a muppet!

:D
 
Ah, the 'customer'... just separate them from the 'clients' and you will not experience this :) Customers are people who buy your stuff. Clients are people who buy you.
 
Sorry, jst had to say this cracked me up and made my day! Five Foot Two is about the only song that I have down well enough that I can play, sing and smile all at the same time so I can relate! For everything else, I just look like I'm solving a differential equation while playing since I'm concentrating so hard!

Heaven forbid that I turn into this. Please tell me if I do! :D
 
Sounds like the customer spends too much time reading here on UU and not enough time playing.
 
I know the customer you're talking about! He's a master of disguise and shows up at just about every ukulele event around the country just to talk about his new custom ukulele with the unique bracing pattern his engineer brother-in-law designed for maximum resonance, the compound fretboard radius that allows for optimal chording and soloing, endangered wood soundboard that he harvested illegally by himself for unsurpassed tone, and tuners with a 38:1 gear ratio that were handbuilt by a Swiss watchmaker over the span of five years, all strung up with a combination of oud and sitar strings made out of an obscure material. Then you'll get stuck sitting next to him in a big strum-along of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow," and after you show him the proper fingering for the E minor chord, he swears it'll sound like nothing else. ;)

Wait, you mean there's more than one of these guys?
 
They are a cloned specie implanted into every community...
 
Last edited:
Man, I need to be rich.

"Make me a pallet uke, wouldja? Thanks. Oh, and if it's ok, I prefer a thinner and flatter neck. But don't worry about it if it's not doable. Oh, and a pickup if you got one. Thanks. Can I get you a beer or something?"

That'd be my order. *grin*
 
It could have been worse....

I once had a conversation with Julius Borges, a well-renowned guitar builder who makes high-end instruments. He once had a guitar that went to Japan to a dealer, which was bought by a customer. This was an OM-45 style instrument, and beautiful in every way. The customer took it back to the store claiming it had a finish flaw, and wanted to return it. The shop owner looked at it for a half hour and could not find any finish flaw. The customer then said it's over here, and proceeded to pull out a magnifying glass to show the shop owner the flaw... and even then, it was barely visible.
 
When customers act like that, my luthier charges them more!!!!!
 
The best way to counteract people like that is to become a fairly proficient Player yourself (harder said than done, I know). Then when they've finished criticising the instrument whilst struggling to finger a basic beginners chord play something that's way ahead of their capabilities (usually doesn't have to be a very difficult piece at all). Then with real authority inform them that it Plays perfectly well in tune and that the 'action' could easily be raised a good 1/2 mm to allow for some 'headroom' without making Playing too difficult. Sometimes they just need to be put in their place. It also maintains your integrity. . . . now if a seriously good Player is critical you might need to take note. Then again sometimes they don't get it right.
Oh BTW Aquila are Classical Guitar strings.
 
Top Bottom