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View Full Version : What a sad day....



Nickie
08-23-2013, 03:18 PM
I received some very sad news today....after the dozens of people that I have calmed, and made happy at work with my ukulele, I am not allowed to take it to work....it really stinks, is unjust, unfair, and wrong on so many levels...and not one client even complained about it! It made me sick to my stomach, I couldn't sleep last night after hearing the rumor of it...I wonder....what "volunteer" music therapist is going to come to a home or ALF and lullaby a restless patient to sleep, or cheer up a room full of mourning family memebers at 10 PM??? My job used to be fun...but I will find a way, I will perservere, and I will turn this around....somehow....

Olarte
08-23-2013, 03:24 PM
Sorry to hear the news. I'm sure you'll find a work around. Even if you were to go on your own time as a volunteer just to play for the clients? You might find it even more rewarding then before...

I hope it turns out ok, please keep us posted.

connor013
08-23-2013, 03:24 PM
What a shame, Nickie. I hope it is a misunderstanding and/or there's some way for you to fight it.

If not, there's always the guerrilla aka pocket uke.

Good luck.

caukulele
08-23-2013, 03:51 PM
So sorry Nickie...I saw how much joy the ukulele brought my uncle, and how much it calmed him in his last weeks in the hospital... Music is truly healing... I hope they reverse their decision.

hawaii 50
08-23-2013, 04:04 PM
I am hoping the people that you play for will voice there opinion and things get changed back to how they were...good luck

hoosierhiver
08-23-2013, 04:04 PM
Jimmy Martin got fired from his first job in a factory for singing on the job.

stevepetergal
08-23-2013, 04:07 PM
Some places of work seem to no longer want employees to be human beings. I feel your disappointment.

southcoastukes
08-23-2013, 04:10 PM
"Those who bring sunshine and laughter to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."

That's your signature, Nickie, and even if (for the moment) you can't perform that function with an Ukulele, I know you will find another way.

itsme
08-23-2013, 04:33 PM
Nickie, I'm not sure of just what your work situation entails, but did they give you a reason? Like it's been interfering with your other duties or something concrete you could address?

mm stan
08-23-2013, 04:43 PM
I am hoping the people that you play for will voice there opinion and things get changed back to how they were...good luck

Aloha Len, they all in heaven now brah, but I'm shua they will put in the their word to the main man up there....

mm stan
08-23-2013, 04:48 PM
Aloha Nickie,
Some real sad news indeed......I hope you can find out why and discuss the matter to reverse their decision....and what lead to that.....did they say it just directly to you...
wow.... I hope they will reconsider their decision....keep plugging at them....it theres a will, theres a way....good luck girl....

vanflynn
08-23-2013, 06:04 PM
Hey Nickie,

Sorry to hear about not playing. IMHO the playing works and hopefully they will change their mind. I had a dear friend in hospice and I had the 1AM to dawn watch for over a week. Well, he got a dose of Lightfoot and Buffett (a captive audience ), and we got a smile from the night nurse too.
I guess what I am saying is look at the good you did. Hopefully someday you will add to that.

Illegitimus noncarborandom (that's Latin for don't let the bastards wear you down!)

Peace

Hippie Dribble
08-23-2013, 07:02 PM
Why? :confused:

Dan Uke
08-23-2013, 07:06 PM
Yeah I'm curious on the reason. I am at a ALF sometimes and they have all these event planned out and I would think they would like some music.

Strumdaddy
08-23-2013, 08:03 PM
Nickie, sounds like you know exactly what you need to be doing.... If you can't find a way to do it at your current work, then you will find another way to do it. Perhaps you need to make an agreement with the management on guidelines for you using your uke at work. Or you need to find other places to do it. Retrain as a "professional" music therapist? A big heart and a little uke will take you far....

dkcrown
08-24-2013, 03:07 AM
Sorry to hear that Nickie.

consitter
08-24-2013, 03:20 AM
Why? :confused:
Usually in situations like this, somebody "higher up" can't stand the thought of somebody having any so-called 'idle' time on their job. They don't want to pay someone to be happy. Never mind that it makes those in need of happiness well taken care of in the process.

Gah! I better stop before I say something nasty.

So sorry about the garbage you're having to put up with, Nickie. It was a truly honorable endeavor that you did until someone in their infinite wisdom took it away.

Keep up the good fight.

PhilUSAFRet
08-24-2013, 04:17 AM
Hmmmm, must be one of the few ALF's in the country that wouldn't welcome this. You said "rumor", have you actually verified it. Probably some "loser" of a co-worker felt you were enjoying yourself and couldn't stand it. Maybe you could volunteer to play for the "competition." Hope to see you at the UkeFest in November.

vanflynn
08-25-2013, 05:39 AM
Nickie, forward the article from CNN to your boss
http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/23/health/music-therapy/index.html?hpt=hp_c4

Ukejenny
08-25-2013, 06:48 AM
I truly feel that you were doing the right thing, the good thing, and that whoever has put a stop to it has done the wrong thing. Maybe, with time, things will work out right and people will realize what a blessing you provided for so many.

hibiscus
08-25-2013, 07:13 AM
I'm sad for you, Nickie. You bring so much joy to me when I read your jokes. xox

Nickie
08-25-2013, 03:52 PM
Thanks for all your support, guys....UU really is a family! I plan to turn this around....I hope to study music therapy, become certified, and retire from nursing within 3 years and do MT full time....let's see how it goes! Wish me luck....it's my true calling...

Freeda
08-25-2013, 03:55 PM
That sounds like the perfect fit for you. :)

Ukejenny
08-25-2013, 04:25 PM
Thanks for all your support, guys....UU really is a family! I plan to turn this around....I hope to study music therapy, become certified, and retire from nursing within 3 years and do MT full time....let's see how it goes! Wish me luck....it's my true calling...

That is wonderful.

mm stan
08-25-2013, 05:05 PM
Aloha Nickie,
A friend of mine had a similar incident at work...here is what she said..
Want to say what's on my mind but why should I? It doesn't matter anyway. My thoughts and feelings were never considered.

barefootgypsy
08-26-2013, 01:10 AM
Thanks for all your support, guys....UU really is a family! I plan to turn this around....I hope to study music therapy, become certified, and retire from nursing within 3 years and do MT full time....let's see how it goes! Wish me luck....it's my true calling...Good luck with that Nickie. You've had a bad experience, and I feel for you ..... sadly, some people just don't like music! It's true - I met one such on holiday a couple of years ago. He suffered from severe tinnitus and loathed music because it brought on attacks ..... that opened my eyes. Perhaps one such person complained about the uke....

Nickie
08-26-2013, 04:17 AM
Good luck with that Nickie. You've had a bad experience, and I feel for you ..... sadly, some people just don't like music! It's true - I met one such on holiday a couple of years ago. He suffered from severe tinnitus and loathed music because it brought on attacks ..... that opened my eyes. Perhaps one such person complained about the uke....

Yes, I am studying "musicophilia", which is the inability to enjoy music....I know a man who hates it...he's never heard me play though....LOL! to a few people, even the best music can sound like tomcatz wailing, or dragging cans down a gravel road....it's crossed up wires in the brain....and has even happened to musicians!
Come to think of it, there was this one woman last year....I played for her Mother...she came in and said "you're pretty good on that thing"...and the next day called Hospice and complained....two faced hussy! I heard that her Mother was almost deaf, but it turned out she had selective hearing....and the daughter was very mean to her....
I was told that some nurses are very jealous of me, and are very vindictive people....and management has taken soooo much away from us in the last few years....it's "welcome to corporate medicine" now instead of compassion....my feelings have been totally ignored....and the company is getting very mean spirited and cruel....I won't go on this Hospice if I'm dying, not the way it is now....

hoosierhiver
08-26-2013, 04:29 AM
Yes, I am studying "musicophilia", which is the inability to enjoy music....I know a man who hates it...he's never heard me play though....LOL! to a few people, even the best music can sound like tomcatz wailing, or dragging cans down a gravel road....it's crossed up wires in the brain....and has even happened to musicians!
Come to think of it, there was this one woman last year....I played for her Mother...she came in and said "you're pretty good on that thing"...and the next day called Hospice and complained....two faced hussy! I heard that her Mother was almost deaf, but it turned out she had selective hearing....and the daughter was very mean to her....
I was told that some nurses are very jealous of me, and are very vindictive people....and management has taken soooo much away from us in the last few years....it's "welcome to corporate medicine" now instead of compassion....my feelings have been totally ignored....and the company is getting very mean spirited and cruel....I won't go on this Hospice if I'm dying, not the way it is now....

I was an RN for almost 20 years before I got in the uke business. Corporate greed has really controls hospitals and health care these days

ukuLily Mars
08-26-2013, 04:42 AM
Thanks for all your support, guys....UU really is a family! I plan to turn this around....I hope to study music therapy, become certified, and retire from nursing within 3 years and do MT full time....let's see how it goes! Wish me luck....it's my true calling...
Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise, and you will end up doing something you love even more. I feel sad for the patients and their families, though. I'm sure most (though evidently not all) of them appreciated it. Wasn't there a family that asked you to play at your patient's memorial? Well, one way or another you will deliver the music, and you will be an Awesome musical therapist.

Shastastan
08-26-2013, 07:17 AM
Nickie, they just don't get it. My wife and I play at ALF's and retirement homes, but not very often with our ukes because we are still rookies. Anyway, the issue is usually the activity director when we've had problems. The places where we play really want us there and we could play even more often if we had the time. We are also in a band, "Joyful Noise", that plays at a different facility every week. However, because of the time we have to play, no earlier than 4pm, the Alzheimer's patients become agitated from the noise and sundowning. That's why my wife and I play in the morning.

Before we started playing at these facilities, we had no idea how beneficial it is too the patients. For example, one guy started singing along and the caregiver told us that he had not uttered a word since he had been there. Music Therapy really works! Few of the places we've visited have enough caregivers. Maybe they think that if you didn't play your uke you could be doing other things? That's not what I think though. Do they have sing-alongs at the place where you work? We always pass out words to the songs (in large type) to the patients/residents. One place has cds of old songs that they also use. Even though they have Alzheimers, some patients know the words to all the songs--more than we do!

Strumdaddy
08-26-2013, 12:37 PM
They don't even know what a wonderful thing they have created!
Hey, check out what we're doing in this area in Australia:
http://www.artshealthinstitute.org.au/[/URL]
Come on down and join us!

Nickie
08-26-2013, 02:29 PM
Nickie, they just don't get it. My wife and I play at ALF's and retirement homes, but not very often with our ukes because we are still rookies. Anyway, the issue is usually the activity director when we've had problems. The places where we play really want us there and we could play even more often if we had the time. We are also in a band, "Joyful Noise", that plays at a different facility every week. However, because of the time we have to play, no earlier than 4pm, the Alzheimer's patients become agitated from the noise and sundowning. That's why my wife and I play in the morning.

Before we started playing at these facilities, we had no idea how beneficial it is too the patients. For example, one guy started singing along and the caregiver told us that he had not uttered a word since he had been there. Music Therapy really works! Few of the places we've visited have enough caregivers. Maybe they think that if you didn't play your uke you could be doing other things? That's not what I think though. Do they have sing-alongs at the place where you work? We always pass out words to the songs (in large type) to the patients/residents. One place has cds of old songs that they also use. Even though they have Alzheimers, some patients know the words to all the songs--more than we do!

That's such a cool thing you all do....most of the activites like that are done by the time I sign on (4PM) but there may be some places I could show up earlier...and play for the whole floor! I've been asked to play for the whole floor, in Alzheimer's units, and if my patient was asleep, or could come to the common area with me, I did. It's true, they will try to sing along, when they can't remember the names of thier family members, or if they ate dinner or not! Yes, I have been asked to play for several memeorial services....missed one, and the patien'ts daughter never forgave me....I'll never let that happen again! I like being a nurse, even though we are rarely appreciated, and seen by some as drug seekers! We catch as much hell as school teachers and police officers....everything is our fault...never mind what we do right! Someday I will be retired from this, and will be a music therapsit, and will be much happier doing that!
To top it off, I've had very bad stinging neuropathy in my left hand, for over a month, making it difficult to play piano or ukulele....sigh....recovery is very slow....and painful....if I can overcome these things, I am one tough b----!
Thanks so much for all your support!

Nickie
08-26-2013, 02:37 PM
They don't even know what a wonderful thing they have created!
Hey, check out what we're doing in this area in Australia:
http://www.artshealthinstitute.org.au/[/URL]
Come on down and join us!

I checked out your site, but I wanna know more....maybe it's something we can do here???

Trinimon
08-27-2013, 05:43 AM
Ah bummer! Sorry to hear that Nickie. Someone has done a horrible wrong and hopefully they realize that soon.

Shastastan
08-27-2013, 07:13 AM
Nickie, there's no doubt that the nurses and all caregivers have a tough row to hoe--especially in an Alzheimers/dementia facility. It's not easy to treat people who are acting like children as adults. It takes patience, compassion, and a tough skin. You sound like a very compassionate nurse and person, Nickie. Those people are lucky to have you. We applaud you for all of your unselfish efforts.

Nickie
08-27-2013, 02:54 PM
Thanks! Well, more bad news...geez, I'm just a barrel of fun....along with the neuropathy that makes it very painful to play, now my beloved Kala, Ativan, has a split in the front from the bottom to the bridge....it buzzes really badly....a repairman picked it up today....he says it's fixable, I just hope it doesn't cost much, I can barely play lately....

vanflynn
08-27-2013, 03:33 PM
Yo Nickie, don't buy any lottery tickets!

Really though, hang in there, things will get better. You are good people with good ethics and it sounds like you are just hitting a low in your journey. I know you will rise above this and shine.

Grab yourself an icy beverage and give yourself some personal time.

Peace.

mm stan
08-27-2013, 03:44 PM
Yes Nickie, I am sure things will get better with your hand and Activan....and hope your ukulele playing priviliges will be understood and reinstated.....Good Luck Girl...
with all the good you do, you have us and the lord behind you....

Ukejenny
08-27-2013, 04:22 PM
Wow, when it rains it pours. I hope that this is the last of trying times for you, and that things turn a corner and start looking up.


Thanks! Well, more bad news...geez, I'm just a barrel of fun....along with the neuropathy that makes it very painful to play, now my beloved Kala, Ativan, has a split in the front from the bottom to the bridge....it buzzes really badly....a repairman picked it up today....he says it's fixable, I just hope it doesn't cost much, I can barely play lately....

bunnyf
08-27-2013, 07:11 PM
I'm sure that many more people will miss your playing, it's such a shame. I worked in geriatric care (now I am geriatric) for many years and my patients loved to hear old familiar tunes, it really brightened their day. They'd often gather around the piano to sing. One older fella even had a squeezebox that he would carry around in his wheelchair and he was the star of the place and a joy to listen to. Music really is the universal language and brings so much happiness and comfort to so many folks, but...there are always a few cranks out there. You will find joy and expression in different ways. It sounds like you are already on a better path. Hang in there! PS, hope your uke is better soon. Look forward to meeting you at TBUS soon.

mm stan
08-27-2013, 09:00 PM
Yes sometimes it just takes on unhappy vocal person and it ruins it for everyone....real sad know...

Strumdaddy
08-28-2013, 12:43 AM
I checked out your site, but I wanna know more....maybe it's something we can do here???

The Arts Health Institute (AHI) was formed to bring the arts into health care. It is a descendent of Clown Doctors in Australia, (which came out of Patch Adams work in the States) but with a broader scope/vision. Play Up is one of their programs. It came out of a 3 year controlled University study that looked at the effects of "humour intervention" on people with dementia. Such therapy was found to be just as effective in changing agitated behaviours as drugs - and cheaper! So - in essence, it is an alternative to pharmaceutical intervention; as such it can also meet resistance from the followers of the medical model of health care.

" Our focus is particularly on clients with dementia. We believe in “late life development” and recognise that people with dementia are in another stage of their life. In this stage of life play facilitates the connection between art and expression. Play Up Performers help residents to "Play Up to one’s potential" "

So, a Play Up performer visits a facility weekly - dressed in a fabulous maroon bus-boy outfit, with fez! . Their background is in theater, mime, circus, puppetry, clowning, music etc. (I.E. we are a bunch of raggle-taggle gypsies who have finally found our place in the world). We have a group of 10 focus Elders for whom we develop an on-going program as a structure for encounters that are spontaneous, playful and often deeply emotional. There is always one staff member from the facility who has been trained to "play-up" and joins in the fun.
Music is one of the tools we use - and can be a very powerful one. Lots of old songs etc., but I often play instrumentals to people, and have played people to their rest.
The AHI is developing other programs, and rolling out in Australia. Who knows, they might be in your neighborhood one day.
I mentioned it in the first place to let you know that there are others trying to bring some non-medical magic into aged-care. Take courage, onward..........