View Full Version : Another Etiquette Question

12-22-2013, 03:32 AM
I was the second person to PM a seller of a uke in the marketplace.
The sellers ad listed it at a price that included shipping to the USA.

In my PM, I agreed to the asking price, included my payment method (Paypal), my phone numbers so he could call if he had any questions and the city/state that I would have it shipped to. The seller called me and we closed the deal. It was paid for and is now on its way to me.

I have been contacted by the person that sent the first PM to the seller "I was first to send a PM to the vendor stating my keen interest in purchasing the uke and requested shipping information to Australia, somehow you have come along after me and shortcut the system!"

I'm seeking opinions here. What would you do in this situation?

12-22-2013, 03:45 AM
If I were you - I'd be excited for my new purchase. You had no control over the decision. That's up to the seller. If the first person has a beef with anyone, it's the seller, not you.

12-22-2013, 03:54 AM
If I were you - I'd be excited for my new purchase. You had no control over the decision. That's up to the seller. If the first person has a beef with anyone, it's the seller, not you.
I agree with Uncle Moon.
You offered to buy a product, and your offer was accepted. It was bad etiquette from the other buyer to complain to you.

12-22-2013, 04:02 AM
Don't feel bad. I learned a long time ago that if I see something that I want to buy at the price I PM/email the seller that "I will take it." If you just make an offer or ask a question you may not get the chance to buy it. It really should sell to the first person that says...Yes, I will buy it.

12-22-2013, 04:06 AM
Yep, I'm with UncleMoon and others on this.

Skinny Money McGee
12-22-2013, 04:25 AM
Life 101... "You snooze, you lose"

12-22-2013, 05:26 AM
I have a bit of perspective as a result of experience as a buyer and a seller in similar situations.

As a seller, I had a member from Asia contact me via PM to purchase a uke; I responded via PM to that member that although I had neglected to include the fact in my for sale post, I was only interested in sales within CONUS at that time, and I edited my post to reflect this fact.

However the seller clearly has the right to forego international shipping with or without specification.

As a buyer there was a uke I bid on and missed out on for sale on eBay; it did not sell there and was subsequently posted for sale on UU forum.

Another member asked for a sound sample in the for sale thread prior to me stating I would take the uke at the asking price.

While I knew another member had "some" interest, I also knew I wanted that ukulele without question.

See above by Skinny Money McGee "Life 101... You snooze, you loose."

12-22-2013, 06:07 AM
After following that listing in the Marketplace, I feel it is the seller's issue with the person who responded first. It is not between you and the "first responder." A seller can sell to whom ever he pleases.

That being said, I feel that the seller should have responded to the first person stating interest before he sold it to you. He should have let him know that he didn't want to deal with International shipping.

I have bought and sold plenty in the Marketplace and always adhere to a first come first serve policy.

12-22-2013, 06:22 AM
I have sometimes sent a PM about a purchase without mentioning it in the thread, so first thread PM doesn't always mean it's the first inquiry.

Also, I want to point out that is no big deal to send a uke overseas, and sellers shouldn't dismiss that out of hand. Take the uke in its box to the post office and they'll tell you the shipping cost. Pick up a customs form to fill out at home. When the buyer sends a PayPal transfer that includes the exact shipping amount, take the package and completed customs form back to the post office. Easy-peasy.

Dan Uke
12-22-2013, 06:24 AM
I agree with everyone and I will sell locally first before shipping international. It's like any store or restaurant, they have a right to refuse service except for race, religion, gender, etc.

12-22-2013, 06:31 AM
Agree with some of the previous replies, the responsibility to provide the necessary info to interested parties should fall on the seller.

12-22-2013, 06:47 AM
I would reply to the person with, "This is something you need to contact the seller about."

12-22-2013, 06:49 AM
I think you should pack up the uke and send it to the first responder at no cost to him/her and include a profuse apology for having intervened in his/her otherwise uneventful cakewalk through life.

Ukulele Eddie
12-22-2013, 06:54 AM
The other party "expressed their keen interest" whereas you apparently agreed to purchase. So it sounds like you were the first to commit. Regardless, as others have pointed out, the other party's beef should be with the seller if they had a basis on which to have a beef but given interest is not a commitment to purchase, it's baseless IMHO.

12-22-2013, 07:00 AM
I'd reply something to the effect of "I'm sorry to hear that; you should contact the seller if you feel he did something wrong".

I think the person contacting you in that manner was out of line...sometimes hasty actions are best left to the next day when a better perspective might be seen. Really though, the seller can sell to whoever he wants, for whatever reason he chooses, and if the person has issues with that, it's between him and the seller. Don't let it spoil the enjoyment of your new uke.

Patrick Madsen
12-22-2013, 07:29 AM
I also sent a pm for the same instrument knowing it was going where it was suppossed to go. For myself, when selling, I am more interested where the instrument is going rather than the first one up with the money. It is the sellors discretion.

As for the Kamaka that was sold, I was thrilled to see it going to a person who obviously loves Kamakas and it was completing his collection. I looked at it as the baritone going home to be with the other Kamakas that may have been made at the same time by the same person. Congratulations on the Kamaka, it couldn't have gone to a better place.

Hippie Dribble
12-22-2013, 09:03 AM

The marketplace is essentially it's own beast and the moderator team is loathe to intervene on this board unless one or more of the above three rules is violated. These are the only three rules that apply to marketplace transactions.

As Danny said, it is the seller's responsibility to provide info to interested parties, and he or she has the right to sell to whomever they wish. International shipping is an issue for some sellers. There was much interest in this instrument. I agree with previous posters. Questions/concerns relating to a listing should always be raised with the seller, not other interested buyers, whilst always adhering to the golden rule of the forum.

As there is a consensus of opinion between members on this thread, and as the issue has been privately resolved, I am going to close this thread in the interests of all parties. Thanks.