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pondweed
03-11-2014, 12:27 AM
posited this on Cosmos and thought it would be fun over here too...

A decree has been passed and there are now harsh sanctions on those found to be flouting the single ukulele law.

It is a young, cruel, dictatorship so plan on 35 or 40 years.
Which one do you keep (or find to replace your present quiver) - before the collection van arrives and your certification is issued.

Luthiers are all taken into the state court and given new duties directly serving the ruler. (You can still keep one, too.)

You may wish to describe the reasoning in your choice to help others in their hours of anxiety choosing.

No hiding caves for secret collections. No putting them into the names of your wider family. No running into the wilderness. You - and they -will be found.:mad:

OldePhart
03-11-2014, 03:35 AM
This is why I have guns... :)

John

Barbablanca
03-11-2014, 04:58 AM
You'd have to prise my Mainland Red Cedar out of my cold dead hands ;). I could lose the others... if I absolutely had to.

ksiegel
03-11-2014, 05:07 AM
Okay, I don't understand...


Is the law that you may have only one ukulele, or that you may NOT have only one ukulele?

Because I'm all over not having just one....




-Kurt

della-belle
03-11-2014, 05:20 AM
I'd shoot myself and be buried with my ukes :eek:

PhilUSAFRet
03-11-2014, 05:28 AM
Welcome to Florida where we have "The Castle Doctrine." You come into my house to seize any one of my ukes and I get to shoot you....free and clear! Not sure which I have the most of, guns or ukes!!!!!! :shaka:

moetrout
03-11-2014, 05:38 AM
Not sure which I have the most of, guns or ukes!!!!!! :shaka:

God Bless America! The choice is still ours!

dkcrown
03-11-2014, 05:49 AM
OK, I'll play. Tough choice, but not really. My custom Moore Bettah. I hope that I could keep a set of low G and reentrant strings to switch back and forth.

That being said, I would rather flee that brutal dictatorship with all of my babies in tow. I would envision a scene similar to when Saigon fell and the Americans were scurrying to board the airlines to evacuate. Except everyone carrying multiple uke cases!

Icelander53
03-11-2014, 05:56 AM
I'd keep my Fluke with the wood fretboard. The rest get much less play.

Telperion
03-11-2014, 06:06 AM
Easy choice - I'd be keeping my Moore Bettah slothead koa tenor. The main reason I picked that one because it's a Moore Bettah, obviously.

I don't own any guns, but judging from the previous posts, and under this new 'single uke law,' I am now worried about severely UAS stricken gun owners finding me and my Moore Bettah. :uhoh:

mds725
03-11-2014, 06:25 AM
I'd be a little concerned about a government that cares how many ukuleles each of its citizens has. Subversive that I am, I'd get a variety of tenor guitars and string them in baritone ukulele tuning.

OldePhart
03-11-2014, 07:01 AM
@Skinny - that was hilarious...but you've got way too much time on your hands! :)

John

peaceweaver3
03-11-2014, 07:03 AM
I'd shoot myself and be buried with my ukes :eek:

That's what the Pharoah said. :D

At the moment I have no uke, but I have no problem personally having only one. I do, however, whole-heartedly support the right to have as many as you can afford and probably some you can't. So I'll be proudly defending the rest of you in uke court. Always knew I should have gone to law school... LOL

Icelander53
03-11-2014, 07:10 AM
I'd be a little concerned about a government that cares how many ukuleles each of its citizens has. Subversive that I am, I'd get a variety of tenor guitars and string them in baritone ukulele tuning.

I think some may be missing the point of this thread. What I took the OP to be asking is what uke would you keep if you only got to have one. He framed it in a little scenario just to make it more interesting. Looks to me like a lot of Americans are just itching for an excuse to fight someone. :iwant: It's the American way. :)

Lest anyone take umbrage at my remarks I'm saying this all tongue in cheek and in jest. But remember at the core of every jest lies a grain of truth.

greyghost
03-11-2014, 07:47 AM
In terms of what I currently own, I surprised myself as I thought about this--based on the patterns of the last few months, the answer is my Kala SLNG long-neck soprano. It's an inexpensive laminate, but it really sings, and it has the HMS setup, so it's almost always the one I reach for when I feel like playing. It's a fantastic little instrument.

If I can have any ukulele at all in exchange for the ones I have, I'd have to hope Chuck Moore has time to make me a tenor or concert before they shut him down!

Skinny Money McGee
03-11-2014, 07:57 AM
@Skinny - that was hilarious...but you've got way too much time on your hands! :)

John

Sorry, accidentally deleted it. Here it is again.
http://captiongenerator.com/13836/Ukuleles-must-be-siezed

pondweed
03-11-2014, 09:05 AM
I think some may be missing the point of this thread. What I took the OP to be asking is what uke would you keep if you only got to have one. He framed it in a little scenario just to make it more interesting. Looks to me like a lot of Americans are just itching for an excuse to fight someone. :iwant: It's the American way. :)

Lest anyone take umbrage at my remarks I'm saying this all tongue in cheek and in jest. But remember at the core of every jest lies a grain of truth.

and in that grain of truth, there is a yummy marshmallow centre with strawberry sprinkles. It's just a game, right! What is REALLY important in the ukulele you hold? Put your guns down and play the game...

della-belle
03-11-2014, 09:16 AM
Sorry, accidentally deleted it. Here it is again.
http://captiongenerator.com/13836/Ukuleles-must-be-siezed

I lost it at 'plinky music' :rofl:

Freeda
03-11-2014, 09:17 AM
One uke? Meh. What if we set up a swap system. We could experience all sorts of ukes but still only have one **at a time**. I'll start the membership signup. It will be like Gamefly... $7.99/mo.

kdmccullum
03-11-2014, 09:31 AM
+1 greyghost

I was thinking the same thing. KA-SLNG.....can't seem to put it down. It hangs on my wall and is just a joy to play. A simple laminate with a great HMS setup. And I don't have to worry about the Southern California humidity issues.

Kurt

Booli
03-11-2014, 09:39 AM
Well, first off when they come to take my ukes, I will test the bludgeoning capability of my concrete-filled tenor fluke against the nose cartilage of everyone who crosses the threshold into my home with this intent...but if I had to choose only one to keep, that would be the 1950's Harmony baritone given to me by me grandfather that passed away in 2009, all the rest can be replaced, but this one has sentimental value that exceeds any other kind of 'value' money-wise or otherwise...

but if I am playing that game, also I'd have already built a subterranean panic room filled with 25 yrs worth of nonperishable supplies that runs off geothermal energy and prepare for a very long 'winter' in my cave like a bear....

JamieWG
03-11-2014, 10:50 AM
If that were the case, I probably wouldn't keep any of my current ukes, since I'd be more inclined to pool my resources and order a handmade "uke of my dreams".

BlueSockMonkey
03-11-2014, 12:41 PM
This is why I have guns... :)

John

John, is your arsenal strung reentrant or linear? Enquiring minds want to know.

In answer to the OP: What a cruel scenario. Since I play mostly Tin Pan Alley, it would make sense to retain my beloved Martin mahogany soprano. But you are suggesting a long, long period of dictatorship and deprivation, so I should maybe instead choose my most versatile instrument, the Kanile'a Islander mahogany soprano; everything from country to pop to jazz sounds sweet on that.

But I would dream every night of the glorious plink plink plink of the Martin...and wake up weeping over the loss.

OldePhart
03-11-2014, 12:50 PM
John, is your arsenal strung reentrant or linear? Enquiring minds want to know.


I guess one could stretch it and say that the revolvers are reentrant and the pistols and long guns are linear... LOL

John

Hippie Dribble
03-11-2014, 12:51 PM
Easy choice for me. My Black Bear soprano.

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BlueSockMonkey
03-11-2014, 01:18 PM
I guess one could stretch it and say that the revolvers are reentrant and the pistols and long guns are linear... LOL

John

So, on average, low g might have greater stopping power...hmmm... :cool:

JamieWG
03-11-2014, 01:23 PM
Easy choice for me. My Black Bear soprano.

6479764796647936479464795

Every time I see that uke, it causes excessive drool on my keyboard!

Booli
03-11-2014, 01:25 PM
So, on average, low g might have greater stopping power...hmmm... :cool:

here's a tip:

an old g-string tied across a doorway at neck height makes for a nice automatic garrote

and strung at ankle height makes for a great tripwire

just saying - you gots to be prepared :)

[edit]

I guess you could say gun owning ukers are of a different "caliber." :biglaugh:

Gun-owning ukulele players give new meaning to the phrase:

'Say Aloha to my little friend!'

(as seen on items in the UU gift shop)

PhilUSAFRet
03-11-2014, 01:31 PM
I guess you could say gun owning ukers are of a different "caliber." :biglaugh:

I'd have to keep the pre-war Martin O my father gave me on my 10th Birthday. It was his and he had just finished building a new house for us and I'm guessing he didn't have any money for a nice gift. There was a look of love and pride in his eyes as he handed it to me that I hadn't seen prior, nor after that. I just wish I had protected it more when I was younger.

OldePhart
03-11-2014, 04:10 PM
So, on average, low g might have greater stopping power...hmmm... :cool:

Oh...definitely...low G are the shotguns... :)

NewKid
03-11-2014, 04:27 PM
I love how so few people are playing along. "Breakin' the law, breakin' the law!"

wickedwahine11
03-11-2014, 05:49 PM
If I had one, it would be a Moore Bettah. Since I don't, I would choose my KoAloha.

Dan Uke
03-11-2014, 06:34 PM
Since several chimed in about a MBU, I would be on that boat too.

Ukulele Eddie
03-14-2014, 09:50 AM
While I'd almost commit a crime to have a Moore Bettah, Jay Lichty or Beau Hannam, I figure this new environment must be harsh. Accordingly, I would opt for something with great sound and durability and choose the Blackbird Clara. But then, all of you with MBU, Lichty and Hannam ukes would be chasing me down to use my Clara because you'd be too afraid to travel with any of those beauties. So maybe I need to re-think this... ;-)

Nickie
03-14-2014, 09:56 AM
You guys crack me up! And you all come up with the silliest scenarios....what a huge waste of time LOL!
I'd keep my Kala cutaway...it's my fave...then I would smile and tell the thieves to have a wonderful day, while my fingers are crossed behind my back....

niwenomian
03-14-2014, 10:21 AM
I would keep a banjo uke and throw my tuners away. Play often, play loud. Shouldn't be too long before the "New law" enforcers upgrade me. Hopefully with a Moore Bettah from someone who has two.

hucklelele
03-14-2014, 10:29 AM
RIGHT NOW I guess I'd choose my Lanikai Bartitone- and three months back I'd have never guessed that, prefering soprano, then concert and down the line.

But as a guitar player I'm finding I'm just playing it more-
and has playing the uke improved my strumming!
I'm a bit of a hack intermediate classical player and never paid ANY attention to strumming- until playing ukes, and finding I'm kinda good at it.

So anyay, I can fall easier into just belting out something in known keys- although I love being more hip to just SHAPES in their essence, and playing better now up the fingerboard especially in fifth position-

now in my 60's the old voice is getting not so good, so I haven't embraced fully the uke/vocal thing to the extent-

had the Lanikai for 6 weeks or something now- and a real step up from the Rogue-

so at the moment- and not wanting to buy anything else right now - that would be my choice over my chinese inlayed fingerboiard concert- which really sounds great, my Hola mahogany Soprano, or my Kala Ukadelic Reggae Tenor.

Really making progress on fiddle though- Can't take that away!

Ukejenny
03-14-2014, 11:46 AM
I'm going to start a black market cartel of mafioso uke bandits. We are going to make you an offer you can't refuse, starting with Eugene's Black Bear. Remember, leave the gun, take the ukulele.



Easy choice for me. My Black Bear soprano.

6479764796647936479464795

Booli
03-14-2014, 01:24 PM
I'm going to start a black market cartel of mafioso uke bandits. We are going to make you an offer you can't refuse, starting with Eugene's Black Bear. Remember, leave the gun, take the ukulele.

this made my day and is the funniest thing I've seen in a while - but you gotta make sure to get a stock pile of uniforms for the bandits, from the UU web store - those t-shirts that have silk-screened on them "SAY ALOHA TO MY LITTLE FRIEND"

Ukejenny
03-14-2014, 03:35 PM
LOVE it!!!!!!



this made my day and is the funniest thing I've seen in a while - but you gotta make sure to get a stock pile of uniforms for the bandits, from the UU web store - those t-shirts that have silk-screened on them "SAY ALOHA TO MY LITTLE FRIEND"

ricdoug
03-16-2014, 08:24 AM
1. I'd use my 1st Amendment rights to tell them where they can put their opinions.

2. If #1 did not work, our 2nd Amendment rights were put into place to prevent tyranny as a final resort.

I absolutely need more than 1 'ukulele to teach others how to play and for spontaneous jam sessions. Ric

Booli
03-16-2014, 08:33 AM
1. I'd use my 1st Amendment rights to tell them where they can put their opinions.

2. If #1 did not work, our 2nd Amendment rights were put into place to prevent tyranny as a final resort.

I absolutely need more than 1 'ukulele to teach others how to play and for spontaneous jam sessions. Ric

^This^ is awesome, um, Ric, can I be on YOUR team? I'll bring my bag of hammers...

OldePhart
03-16-2014, 02:09 PM
1. I'd use my 1st Amendment rights to tell them where they can put their opinions.

2. If #1 did not work, our 2nd Amendment rights were put into place to prevent tyranny as a final resort.

I absolutely need more than 1 'ukulele to teach others how to play and for spontaneous jam sessions. Ric

Exactly! I love you bro!

Wagster
03-16-2014, 02:57 PM
This is why I have guns... :)

John

This is a very disturbing revelation. I *really* need to quit pissing you off! :cool:

Just for the record, I have some guns too, big guy. I'm not too sure where the bullets are though. I think we tossed them all into the fire barrel last winter while celebrating with some friends. Some transmogified, tequila-ized version of multi-player russian roulete. The video would have gone viral, but the camera took a round right up the ol' lens hole.



I'd shoot myself and be buried with my ukes :eek:

Just for the record, I want to be buried IN my ukulele. (This is not a request for you to get trigger happy, John)


I'd be a little concerned about a government that cares how many ukuleles each of its citizens has.

Just for the record, the following is NOT a political statement: I work for the Big O. Trust me when I tell you your gov't has already gone WAY beyond just counting your ukes. (Those drones can be hard to spot, but rumor has it that John actually downed one with a snub nose .38.....shooting from the hip!)

Just for the record, I wouldn't really care which ONE ukulele I had. They way I see it, as long as I have *a* uke, four strings and most of my fingers, I will be a happy camper. Um...well, I'm not actually a camper. I'm more like an RV. I have also been mistaken for a taxi.

John....What's that red dot on my forehead??? Oh wait...it's just a zit. Sorry.

OldePhart
03-17-2014, 04:19 AM
@Wagster - that had me laughing hard...now...what gov't agency do I call to come clean this coffee off my keyboard and monitor? :)


This is a very disturbing revelation. I *really* need to quit pissing you off!


Be at ease. My guns are not for use on people who piss me off...they are for use on people who try to piss on me...big difference. LOL

John

Wagster
03-17-2014, 01:48 PM
@Wagster - that had me laughing hard...now...what gov't agency do I call to come clean this coffee off my keyboard and monitor? :)

John

Hi John! Buddy. Pal.

Let's see......domestic computers, cleaning. (scrolls down list)

That falls under the jurisdiction of Homeland Security. Your lucky day! I happen to jam with a guy that works in that department. (He plays an auto-harp. We only invite him to our jams to avoid undue scrutiny).

I told him you had a dirty computer. A cursory inspection only revealed an inter-office memo between the GAO & IRS. Something about an unmanned aircraft and property liens (no mention of ukuleles, thankfully). He assured me your computer(s) would be picked clean within 24 hours. No need to thank me. I was happy to do it. Buddy. Pal.

OldePhart
03-17-2014, 01:59 PM
Hi John! Buddy. Pal.

Let's see......domestic computers, cleaning. (scrolls down list)

That falls under the jurisdiction of Homeland Security. Your lucky day! I happen to jam with a guy that works in that department. (He plays an auto-harp. We only invite him to our jams to avoid undue scrutiny).

I told him you had a dirty computer. A cursory inspection only revealed an inter-office memo between the GAO & IRS. Something about an unmanned aircraft and property liens (no mention of ukuleles, thankfully). He said your computer(s) would be picked clean within 24 hours. No need to thank me. I was happy to do it. Buddy. Pal.

Okay...so I don't have to clear a spot for them to land the black helicopters...this time? :)

John

Pueo
03-17-2014, 02:23 PM
I would just glue all of my ukuleles together - I would have ONE 10-neck ukulele upon inspection. Of course, the glue *might* fail at some point...

Tele295
03-17-2014, 05:50 PM
Since I only have the one, my choice is easy- Ojai Valley Big Tenor