Being alone in your 50s?

charre

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It is really not easy. I don't think I can find love at this age, and it makes me pretty depressed. Do you have any tips or advice on how to find a soulmate in this crazy word, especially during the pandemic. Share your stories here too, I would love to find out more about your experience
 

clear

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You don't need to find a soulmate to enjoy life. In fact, having a wife (or husband or partner or whatever) just weighs you down and hinder your enjoyment of life. There are so many things I have to give up because of wife and kids. Enjoy your unchained life. You can do lots of fun things. If you don't already, get a motorcycle, it'll be a life changer in the best way you can imagine. You'll meet friends, you'll go riding the back country roads, you'll of course want to go racing, you won't worry about leaving an inheritance for anybody. Have fun.
 

Croaky Keith

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Nah! Get yourself a Kickbike (a proper scooter, not one of those dangerous small wheeled things), keep fit whilst enjoying some fun, it'll attract attention, I guarantee it. :D
 

Jan D

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Love can be found at any age. The secret is to keep yourself happily occupied until that special someone comes along. Try pursuing a hobby that brings you joy. Then (when deemed safe) join a group (or two!) that enjoys the same hobby. Regularly meeting up with people who are passionate about the same thing as you is a great first step towards building good friendships. A good friendship can lead to love. And until that happens, you have your hobby to keep you actively engaged, and your new friends to keep you from being lonely. Best of luck!
 

Graham Greenbag

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It is really not easy. I don't think I can find love at this age, and it makes me pretty depressed. Do you have any tips or advice on how to find a soulmate in this crazy word, especially during the pandemic. Share your stories here too, I would love to find out more about your experience


I’m not in your position and haven’t been but would still support the advice already offered. At any age finding a suitable long term soul mate is not easy but by good luck or good management most people do manage to do so.

For those struggling in some way Match Makers used to be a traditional link to other suitable people and whilst maybe outdated it could just work for you - maybe they screen people too. Of course there are on-line dating sites too and you might find happiness via one of them (I understand that many do) or you might find something that ends up being far from ideal: do be careful. The pandemic situation can work in your favour, not being physically close to someone makes you just talk and talk and talk (via a telephone or video link). A person might look very attractive but who are they really and do their and your interests and values really align?

Being happy in your self is wise and so is following your interests. Whilst keeping an open mind think about the type of person that you might wish to meet and what that person might be seeking in a life partner ... Many people do meet partners through their circles of friends, their workplace and their hobbies; from time to time we change all of those. Whilst staying true to yourself consider how you can adjust your life to overlap more with the type of person that you hope to meet, or maybe meet links that lead to them. Who might have a relative or friend who could be that special person?

Good luck in your search, be safe, be patient - good things come to those who wait - and play your Uke. Music is good for the soul and who can’t smile whilst playing some jolly tune.

** Just to be safe I would advise against sharing personal information on this site and on other sites too. **
 
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Jerryc41

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I'm 77, and I know what you mean. I lost my wife nine years ago, and I'd like to have a "soulmate," but I'm not about to go online or advertise in a newspaper. ;)

I avoid anything unpleasant - the news, for example. I also avoid sad/unpleasant stories and movies. I keep busy, play the uke, watch TV, and work in the garage.

Funny story. My weekly painting group meets once a month to stuff dolls to give to kids in hospitals. There are patterns for boy dolls and girl dolls. A woman across from me finished stuffing a doll and said, "I need a girl." I replied, as a joke, "You and me, both!" They got a laugh out of that, not realizing I was semi-serious. ;)
 

SailingUke

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PLAY MORE UKE. We met playing uke 11 1/2 years ago, we are both 71.
Great partner for life’s adventure.
 

captain-janeway

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You don't need to find a soulmate to enjoy life. In fact, having a wife (or husband or partner or whatever) just weighs you down and hinder your enjoyment of life. There are so many things I have to give up because of wife and kids. Enjoy your unchained life. You can do lots of fun things. If you don't already, get a motorcycle, it'll be a life changer in the best way you can imagine. You'll meet friends, you'll go riding the back country roads, you'll of course want to go racing, you won't worry about leaving an inheritance for anybody. Have fun.

Don't have a motorcycle, but I do have a moped and had been riding with a gang lol. My back's messed up so I can't right now. They're all like 20 years younger than me, but we all have a blast.
I know you're looking for someone, but I love living alone. Can come and go as I wish and can come home to peace and quiet. I'm an introvert running a small care facility so I'm on 24/7/365. I definitely come home to my uke now. It's something I started right before COVID.
OP--Enjoy what you're doing now and maybe in something like a hiking group or the like maybe you'll find someone. I'm 62.
 

merlin666

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You are still young at 50. Go out and find groups of people with interests similar to yours, such as a uke playing circle which almost every city has. Chances are that there are other people looking for connection so just take it from there. Don't waste time with dating apps.
 

Wukulele

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Interesting some people might be shut off to the internet for meeting people. Seems contrived to connect online, but in this day & age & for the last handful of decades, it's how people find kidneys, bone marrow, lost relatives, careers, education, food (well, delivery, which I don't take part in as I can walk to eateries & shops, support local etc), dream homes, ukulele lessons & jams & more. All of these good things in life now more often than not, involve at least software that often has an app version.

Easy for me to say as I am not in the same boat, I know, but online is a place where meetings can at least get started. A friend neighbor of mine, late 40's told me online dating is not easy, but the alternative can be harder. And they said pandemic online dating has been much more easy (they used good ole "Match")... At the very least online jump-started connections can help someone maintain practice in how to socialize...when not practicing uke that is...
 

Nickie

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I never could find anyone I really enjoyed being around much, until I stopped looking. Then a darn near perfect mate came into my life. She left early because of cancer, but not before she got me started playing ukulele.
I pined for a while, but still did not look, and I was in my 60s. Another darn near perfect mate came along, playing her ukulele with me in jams. She is now playing bass in our band and we're married, since gay marriage became legal.
Being alone has its rewards. It tends to make it easier to find oneself.
 

evansshaquie

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Hello! I think you might like using some online dating services, they are pretty good and trusted these days I think. You just need to pick one wisely. Have a look at these seniors dating sites canada, for example. I have been using some of those for a while, and I managed to meet some really lovely women there. Stay strong, you will find your love! Hope I was helpful to you here
 
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Nemesises

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As for me, if a person is not afraid to be alone with himself, everything will be fine with him. You don't have to cling to someone to feel good
 

bunnyf

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Right now it’s been so hard with Covid, but people are getting back out in public and opportunities to meet people will be increasing. Following your interests is a great place to start (uke groups are good..relaxed, fun and with a preponderance of females). So are religious or service groups, if your interest lies there. I am not of the generation that feels comfortable with online dating but it is so common place that it might be something worth reconsidering. I personally would feel too much pressure meeting someone like that. When things open up more, I would try Meetup.com and look for a group activity that you’d like to participate in. It’s a much lower key way to meet someone and you’ll be doing something that you want to do anyway.
 

Yukio

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That is a tough question. But I would choose NOT to look on-line. This is because no matter what the on-line platform might be (this forum included) you can only get a sort of a 2-D 'paper-doll' idea of who any of us are. We, the people on the other side of the screen, can also see only a dim caricature of you (usually distorted through our own wants and desires.) Souls are much too complex to fit into words and images on a computer screen.
You and your future soul-mate will only be able to recognise each other by meeting in the real hurly-burly of this crazy world that you mentioned. Please fall not into despair. Love and take care of yourself. Go out and be your genuine self as much as possible in the world.
 

janepl

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First, of all, don't desperate! It's a great age! You're smart enough to make wise decisions. So no matter where to find a soulmate, you can make the right conclusion about a person even on distance. Why not to search online? If you feel you can, just go for it. Use any opportunities, but don't be passive. I know many ppl, who tried online dating. Not all of them were successful, but at least they tried. My friend met her gf at craigslist houston personal, for example. There are different sites for specific age groups or geolocation.
 
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Late to chime in, but I'd do some online searching for local cycling (bicycling) groups. Doesn't matter what "skill level" you are, most of them have regular get togethers with multiple routes to ride, with varying ride lengths and skill levels. Start your search with your states' Bicycle Federation. (not-for-profit group that tends to be a hub for state-wide cycling groups, and more). Place a call to them and ask for groups that support new riders. Similarly there and countless charity rides (fewer now with CoVid, but many of the 'cancer support' rides still hold smaller events). These "like-minded" events tend to bring all ages and interest varieties together and -from experience- become great places to meet people. One added bonus... No one talks about work!! I've been riding with groups, large and small for nearly 45 years. My cycling friends are the best and most enduring of them all. (PS - after-ride socializing usually ends up with some of the best pot-lunch spreads and craft beer recommendations you'll find anywhere)
Hope this finds you in time :)
 

Kenn2018

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I met my wife online, on an AOL dating bulletin board. (Remember those?) I had just moved to Tarrytown, NY (Sleepy Hollow) and had posted with a lot of people about meeting people, finding a place to live, etc. I was not looking for a relationship, but I met a lot of people. My wife liked what I wrote, I enjoyed her posts. We hit it off, talked by phone, sent pictures and agreed to meet at the airport in the city where she lived. Eventually, I quit my job and moved to be with her in AZ. I was 46 then.

Like all relationships, it has had it's ups and downs. Mostly ups.

23 years later, we are still together.
 

Voran

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You don't need to find a soulmate to enjoy life. In fact, having a wife (or husband or partner or whatever) just weighs you down and hinder your enjoyment of life. There are so many things I have to give up because of wife and kids. Enjoy your unchained life. You can do lots of fun things. If you don't already, get a motorcycle, it'll be a life changer in the best way you can imagine. You'll meet friends, you'll go riding the back country roads, you'll of course want to go racing, you won't worry about leaving an inheritance for anybody. Have fun.
I cannot stress how much I agree with you. People are always trying to convince me I couldn't possibly be happy without a husband and kids...It makes me feel like someone just farted into a jar and is now trying to get me to buy their fart.