Creative writing?

bengbengchicken

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my teacher said i should go into creative writing. i dont think so. She said i should write something and ask people how they feel after reading it.

well; i wrote this in 3 minutes, just so that i can procrastinate my Algebra Homework (=




I lay here, beneath the blankets, hiding from the world. I embrace a stuffed toy, thinking that this is only a dream. I feel like a young child again; just hoping that nobody will find me. That I will ignore it and it will all go away.

I feel so much pain. So much pain from the man I call “dad”. He, who was once the happiest father in the world, is now fully changed. Father carries a Bible around, hoping he would change the way I see the world. The man who was once a man full of smiles is now the stormy rain cloud on my sunny day. Bringing gloom and sadness wherever he goes. He was the hero I looked up to, the man that was so fun to be around. Now, I don’t know who he is. Should I even call him “dad”? He is nothing like what he was. I don’t know this man who put God before his family. Even when his only daughter, me, feels like dying because she is no longer happy with the way her life is. “Hurt all you want”, he said, “I’m still going to teach you about God.”

Here I am with stinging eyes, trembling hands, and a face so wet from tears, wishing to have him back. My hero, my father. Just to have him love me, for once.

So, I lay here, beneath the blankets, hiding from the world..



Comment?
 

HoldinCoffee

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Jane's Addiction
Had a Dad
-------------------------
http://s499.photobucket.com/albums/...tion=view&current=ja-hadadad-elcid-112008.flv

I had a dad
He was big and strong
I turned around
I found my daddy gone
He was the one
Made me what I am today
It's up to me now
My daddy has gone away...

Well I spoke to the mountain
I listened to the sea
They both told me that the fountain
Was the best that you could be
My daddy's hand it growed
Show to the lickin
Sonny boy
Grow to whip him!

If you see my dad
Tell him my brothers
All gone mad
They're beating on each other
I walked around
Even tried to call
Got that funny feeling
He's not there at all...

If you see my dad
Tell him my brothers
All gone mad
They're beating on each other
I walked around
Even tried to call
Got that funny feeling
God is dad

He's not there at all...
Oh yeah x7

I had a dad
He was big and strong
And I turned around
I found my daddy gone
He was the one
Made me what I am today
It's up to me now
My daddy has gone away
Gone away...
Gone away...
He's gone away...

Yes I said I had
I had a dad
I said I had
I had a dad

I had...
I had...
I said I had...
 

ahreeka

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I lay here, beneath the blankets, hiding from the world. I embrace a stuffed toy, thinking that this is only a dream. I feel like a young child again; just hoping that nobody will find me. That I will ignore it and it will all go away.

I feel so much pain. So much pain from the man I call “dad”. He, who was once the happiest father in the world, is now fully changed. Father carries a Bible around, hoping he would change the way I see the world. The man who was once a man full of smiles is now the stormy rain cloud on my sunny day. Bringing gloom and sadness wherever he goes. He was the hero I looked up to, the man that was so fun to be around. Now, I don’t know who he is. Should I even call him “dad”? He is nothing like what he was. I don’t know this man who put God before his family. Even when his only daughter, me, feels like dying because she is no longer happy with the way her life is. “Hurt all you want”, he said, “I’m still going to teach you about God.”

Here I am with stinging eyes, trembling hands, and a face so wet from tears, wishing to have him back. My hero, my father. Just to have him love me, for once.

So, I lay here, beneath the blankets, hiding from the world..



Comment?

I don't get it, or it's really trippy and I'm just too dumb to get it. Lol. I feel like there's a far more deeper meaning to this and it's hard for me to get it together. It's like, I have it, but I don't kind of thing. Like a yeah, wait, what? Do you have anymore? I enjoyed it :).
 

menehunenyc

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...to help you with your assignment...

After reading your piece, I felt sad...for you and your dad. I also felt upset because religion has once again taken what should be a positive force into a negative force. Your father loved you, but religion has turned him away from you, for what reason? I feel religion can be a source of comfort and guidance for people if done right. But when the 'leader' of a religion starts convincing people to behave in ways that are clearly hurtful and against common sense, I find it very upsetting. Sounds like this is what has happened to your dad. As a young teen I had a friend who had a terrific Rock album collection, special edition Rolling Stones and such. He went to some bible camp and came back convinced that Rock and Roll was evil and he was told he had to destroy all his records. I thought that was extremely bizarre and stupid. In the wrong hands religion actually confines people when it should be setting them free. I feel that people are attracted to these religious zeolots when they are either missing something in there lives and are looking for something to fill 'the void'. I wouldn't know if this was the case with your dad, but maybe this is the case. Does you mom feel the same way? Would she know if he felt empty in some way and hence find a more healthy way to fill the void?

That is my response...Atleast you have something to tell your teacher. Buy the way, I thought your piece was...well...thought provoking... which usually means the writing was effective...I give you an A!!
 

Misguided Musician

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For something written within 3 minutes, it's actually pretty good. Sounds like a start to a chapter. You can get into creative writing, after all there is always room for improvement.
 

MisoHappy

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You're really good at writing :D My class is required to write that kind of stuff in english. We have ten minutes before every class to think of a subject.


Is it okay if we convey this thread and let other people post fanfiction and stuff they wrote? I know people like fanfiction ;)