Painful ukulele experience on Molokai

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RyanMFT

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Toward the end of my vacation here on beautiful Molokai. Looked forward to attending a ukulele play along, and was told visitors were welcome.

When I arrived I was told I was not welcome to sit at the table with the ukulele players, even though there were open seats, and then was told it was about respecting the old people of Molokai, that I don't look like I know this instrument, and if I didn't know everything they were playing, I should sit and listen.

I feel really sad. I love this instrument and I am passionate about the history and community around the ukulele. I post here not to trash Hawaii or Molokai but to shake free the bad feelings and get back to the underground where I am always treated with the Aloha spirit.
 
Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. What a sad story.

Curious:

Were you the only new player there, or did they treat all new players, that night, that way? Who told you visitors were welcome, please? Where was this gathering?

How many of the regulars were there? Were they playing a practiced piece that they were working on? Did you bring your Martin 3 mahogany or Koa? Lol.

It's not right how it went down, regardless. I'm just trying to flesh it out a bit to perhaps add some context to what, at first blush, seems unconscionable: their treating an island guest like an intruder.

Is this the Larry Ellison, nearby island owner and Oracle CEO, effect? I think he bought Lanaii, but then bought the airline that serviced Molokai and stopped flights there, no? I believe Molokai even shut it's biggest resort down a half dozen years ago. Is there something to all this reflected in the way you were treated? Educate us. Thanks, my friend.
 
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Thanks man, they had songbooks on the table so I assumed I could play along pretty easily. There were about 8 people playing, along with one guy on mandolin and one on washboard!

I asked around the island several places and was told to go and I would be welcomed...

Maybe I would have been welcomed had I shown up with an ukulele made before the turn of the century? I'm just sad at being rejected here in Hawaii. I hoped to be welcomed the way I try to welcome new players to this instrument. I guess I will continue to play on my own.
 
I suppose if you had turned up with a turn-of-the-century washboard, they'd have treated you like Eddie "Eddie Would Go" Aikau!

I'm sorry to hear about it. I think it might have to do with Larry Ellison being a louse to Hawaiian natives.

I'm going to say something personal about you here, Ryan. The way you've presented your story is meaningful. Most would have had a vitriolic post, scathing and upset. But, not you. Yours is calm, thoughtful and sincere. Rational, trying to find meaning, but genuine. I feel you with how you've come across.

You, Ryan, are Aloha. You, Ryan, are transcendent of the experience. Thank you.
 
Ryan sorry this happened to you. If you ever go to Maui, you can check out 808ukejams. The folks there are really awesome and really show the aloha spirit. I joined them for one of the sessions and the people were super cool since I'm not that good.
 
Gee, I'm sorry to hear that. It wouldn't occur to me that an ukulele player wouldn't be welcome at an ukulele jam.
 
I suppose if you had turned up with a turn-of-the-century washboard, they'd have treated you like Eddie "Eddie Would Go" Aikau!

I'm sorry to hear about it. I think it might have to do with Larry Ellison being a louse to Hawaiian natives.

I'm going to say something personal about you here, Ryan. The way you've presented your story is meaningful. Most would have had a vitriolic post, scathing and upset. But, not you. Yours is calm, thoughtful and sincere. Rational, trying to find meaning, but genuine. I feel you with how you've come across.

You, Ryan, are Aloha. You, Ryan, are transcendent of the experience. Thank you.

You are too kind my friend. Thank you so much... I just wanted to share some music, but I know when I'm not wanted, so I just quietly left.
 
Hawai'ians, like many native peoples, have had much stolen from them, and Moloka'i has always been a reclusive island (it was once a leper colony and has only fairly recently opened up in any way). Recent multi-billionaire antics could not have helped the opening-up process; in fact, it most assuredly re-opened wounds.

I have also run into situations on the Islands where hosts and long-timers make gestures of openness ... yet they expect visitors to know the unwritten rules in advance (but how?) and politely refrain from overly-active participation.

This is not to excuse or defend your treatment at the jam, which was, indeed, rude. You did not deserve such treatment, and your attitude does, indeed, do you much credit. Please also be assured that the mind-reading requirement is not a universal practice in the Islands.
 
I don't know the situation but there is Hawaiian culture we might not know about. Were there other other Haoles in the jam?
 
Thank you Roselynne, I suspect you are correct. Funny, just before the jam, I rode 1700 feet down to the colony. They still have seven resident patients. The island overall is very quiet, which I love.

Nongdam, there were mostly older people playing, several were haole.

I will play alone tomorrow, by the ocean. I will try to remember these people are my best teachers as they showed me exactly how to drive away and embarrass a ukulele player who has arrived in my home area, and is alone....which I will not repeat.
 
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I've heard that Moloka'i is kind of a reclusive island and the community is sort of closed. It reminds me a little of Boston neighborhoods back in the 70s, when everything was about turf. I once had an Irish friend who went to South Boston once for St. Patrick's Day and he was shunned not because of his ethnicity (he was Irish) but because he wasn't from the neighborhood. There's probably some dance you had to do where if you showed respect in whatever way they were expecting to be respected, they might have invited you to play, but these sorts of unwritten rules are archaic and rude, even among a reclusive group. I hope you have better experiences on the remainder of your visit.
 
What you encountered was wrong. Period. No way to defend it -- only, perhaps, an explanation. The haoles present were most likely either long-time jammers with this group, or were introduced to the group by resident jammers in the approved (but unwritten) manner.

(It is also possible to be improperly introduced, which can be worse than walking in at random!)

Some folks have run into similar situations here on the Mainland. Insularity can exist anywhere. Thank The Force that it is not everywhere!

I hope your future experiences will be more fulfilling and rewarding. You deserve better!
 
That sounds very strange to me. I lived on Moloka'i for 10 years and I have never
experienced such a thing. The residents usually value their visitors because they get so few of them. I've known the people to be especially loving unless they feel threatened in some way. I'd be interested in hearing the details of this incident. Never the less I am sorry this happened to you.
 
Toward the end of my vacation here on beautiful Molokai. Looked forward to attending a ukulele play along, and was told visitors were welcome.

When I arrived I was told I was not welcome to sit at the table with the ukulele players, even though there were open seats, and then was told it was about respecting the old people of Molokai, that I don't look like I know this instrument, and if I didn't know everything they were playing, I should sit and listen.

I feel really sad. I love this instrument and I am passionate about the history and community around the ukulele. I post here not to trash Hawaii or Molokai but to shake free the bad feelings and get back to the underground where I am always treated with the Aloha spirit.

What a bummer. I'll tell you the effect this has on me. Not going on a uke vacation in Hawaii anytime soon and if I do go I'm going to HMS and call that my trip. I know I'll be treated well there no matter what. What a sad experience.
 
What a bummer. I'll tell you the effect this has on me. Not going on a uke vacation in Hawaii anytime soon and if I do go I'm going to HMS and call that my trip. I know I'll be treated well there no matter what. What a sad experience.
It is a dream of mine to mak it to HI now that I live close [5 hours] to the west coast. I'm not going to let this incident stop me, but I might skip Molikai.
 
. I'll tell you the effect this has on me. Not going on a uke vacation in Hawaii anytime soon and if I do go I'm going to HMS and call that my trip. I know I'll be treated well there no matter what. What a sad experience.
Wow, so you're going to brand an entire state from one related experience? Sounds like it wasn't even representative of that one island much less the whole state. I'm sure there are many great "uke vacation" experiences to be had HI and I would love to do that someday. Not likely for me, but I agree such a trip would probably start at HMS or maybe KoAloha.
 
With the few details available, I would guess that these people are serious players who regularly play together. I doubt that their intent was to make you feel unwelcome, but they gather for their own enjoyment. In short, this was a “jam” and not a “strum along.”

Believe me, if you had tried to just hop up on the bandstand of a Jazz or Bluegrass jam, they would have been openly hostile to you.

The best way to approach a jam as a newcomer is as an audience member – but make it clear that you have your instrument with you, and are ready to join when asked. You will be asked.
 
Wicked's post (#17) makes a number of good points and sense. Jams where there is a performer's section and a separate audience/sing-along section are often by-invitation-only for new musicians. The new musicians are expected to observe from the audience section for a while as how things work among the existing musicians before receiving an invitation to join. That keeps thing rolling without confusion amongst the musicians and lets the prospective musician to determine how s/he will fit in.

Being a short-time tourist at a locale often means not getting the "straight skinny" on how things are done, as advice often comes from folk not fully in the know, but just aware that events are happening. The hotel desk clerk or equivalent often has only newspaper-notice information, doesn't understand the protocols, and wants to be "helpful" even when not knowing.

I've shown up at jams where the information about it I got was one thing, but reality another thing altogether, and had to adjust accordingly. Most often I had to wait until a first set was over, then go to the performer's section during the break and "talk shop," and then find myself invited to join. It's just a matter of protocol.
 
Jim Hanks

Yes that's my immediate reaction. Anger/sadness. I can just imagine that happening to me and how lousy I'd feel about making that effort. Now over time that will probably balance itself with some better rational but the seed has been planted and when I weigh my options of a vacation that might carry the day. However HMS is on my list. Andrew and I have a lunch date. I think I'd be satisfied with that.
 
Wicked's post (#17) makes a number of good points and sense. Jams where there is a performer's section and a separate audience/sing-along section are often by-invitation-only for new musicians. The new musicians are expected to observe from the audience section for a while as how things work among the existing musicians before receiving an invitation to join. That keeps thing rolling without confusion amongst the musicians and lets the prospective musician to determine how s/he will fit in.

Being a short-time tourist at a locale often means not getting the "straight skinny" on how things are done, as advice often comes from folk not fully in the know, but just aware that events are happening. The hotel desk clerk or equivalent often has only newspaper-notice information, doesn't understand the protocols, and wants to be "helpful" even when not knowing.

I've shown up at jams where the information about it I got was one thing, but reality another thing altogether, and had to adjust accordingly. Most often I had to wait until a first set was over, then go to the performer's section during the break and "talk shop," and then find myself invited to join. It's just a matter of protocol.


You make a good point and I'd be just as pissed that I got bad information from people who should keep their mouths shut if they aren't sure of what they are talking about. I know that's a lot to ask. It's a let the buyer beware situation.

Oh well, live and learn..... some more. It's hard to know what really went down over there. I was taking the OP at his word and expecting his version to be the complete and accurate story. That's often not the case and I forgot that in the moment because he seemed reasonable and genuinely disappointed. I'm a sucker for the underdog. On the other hand he may be right on.
 
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