Rulz ...

Steveperrywriter

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I’ve been dropping round here for a little over a year-and-a-half, and I’ve come across a number of rules for the care and feeding of ukuleles. Some of them seem contradictory, but, what-the-heck, I thought I’d throw them out. (And feel free to add those I’ve missed …)

!. Anything other than a soprano ukulele is blasphemy.
2. Any wood other than koa is a mortal sin.
3. Any pronounciation other than “oo-koo-lay-lay” is an abomination.
4. Any pronounciation other than “you-kuh-lay-lee” is vile and dispicable snobbery.
5. If you use a low-G string on your already-blasphemous tenor, you are less than pond scum; you are a guitarist.
6. Any ukulele made anywhere but Hawaii is beneath contempt.
7. Any ukulele that costs more than $500 is obnoxiously excessive bling.
8. Any ukulele that costs less than $500 is naught but crappy firewood.
9. Strumming is the only path to salvation.
10. Strumming is for children.
11. Tiny Tim.
12. Glue.
13. Wood is the most important factor in tone.
14. Strings are the most important things in tone.
14. Construction is the most important thing in tone.
15. Players are the most important things in tone.
16. All ukuleles sound the same with the same brand of strings.
17. No two ukuleles sound the same with any brand of strings.
18. YouTube
19. Jake
20. All Luthiers doing custom work are filthy rich.
21. Amps.
22. Straps are the devil’s invention.
23. Straps are God’s blessing.
24. Friction tuners are the only proper ones.
25. Friction tuners are for dinosaurs.
 
26. you only need one uke
 
I’ve been dropping round here for a little over a year-and-a-half, and I’ve come across a number of rules for the care and feeding of ukuleles. Some of them seem contradictory, but, what-the-heck, I thought I’d throw them out. (And feel free to add those I’ve missed …)

!. Anything other than a soprano ukulele is blasphemy.
2. Any wood other than koa is a mortal sin.
3. Any pronounciation other than “oo-koo-lay-lay” is an abomination.
4. Any pronounciation other than “you-kuh-lay-lee” is vile and dispicable snobbery.
5. If you use a low-G string on your already-blasphemous tenor, you are less than pond scum; you are a guitarist.
6. Any ukulele made anywhere but Hawaii is beneath contempt.
7. Any ukulele that costs more than $500 is obnoxiously excessive bling.
8. Any ukulele that costs less than $500 is naught but crappy firewood.
9. Strumming is the only path to salvation.
10. Strumming is for children.
11. Tiny Tim.
12. Glue.
13. Wood is the most important factor in tone.
14. Strings are the most important things in tone.
14. Construction is the most important thing in tone.
15. Players are the most important things in tone.
16. All ukuleles sound the same with the same brand of strings.
17. No two ukuleles sound the same with any brand of strings.
18. YouTube
19. Jake
20. All Luthiers doing custom work are filthy rich.
21. Amps.
22. Straps are the devil’s invention.
23. Straps are God’s blessing.
24. Friction tuners are the only proper ones.
25. Friction tuners are for dinosaurs.

That seems to have it all covered Iguess...yeah, I will buy that for One American Dollar. Wow ...and we are all supposed to be one big happy family, united by our shared love of a common interest....makes religious warfare look kind of well, simple really....and if I stick around here much longer I will start spelling in American English as well as using Americanisms :)rofl:)
 
My list starts...

1. Tiny Tim
2. Pizza

and goes on from there.

If a person who plays a guitar is a guitarist, then one who plays the ukulele is a ukuleleist or ukulelist which brings me back here. Ukuleleist, or ukulelist - which is correct?

Hmmm ukualaier, ukualaer or ukelayer perhaps?

~Al~
 
If a person who plays a guitar is a guitarist, then one who plays the ukulele is a ukuleleist or ukulelist which brings me back here. Ukuleleist, or ukulelist - which is correct?

Hmmm ukualaier, ukualaer or ukelayer perhaps?

~Al~

LOL, that was my question, and nearly three years later I still don't have an answer (nor can I remember what I was working on that prompted me to ask it, but if it's the website I think it was, I opted instead to refer to the person as a multi-instrumentalist who plays blah blah blah and ukulele).

As for rulz... I've always felt they were meant to be broken, as long as nobody gets harmed in the process :)
 
Calling us other than ukeists is blasphemous....
Haveing more than one is a waste of wood...
Calling it a "little guitar", suffer a fate worse than death....
 
How many ukes you need is one more.

If you have an issue with your uke, the last person/people to talk to about it is/are the builder(s).

If you need some work done on your uke, the last person you should see is a qualified luthier.

If you decide to work on your own uke, do not use the correct tools; they cost too much.

If you decide to work on your own uke, the last folks to ask for advice are those who know the most about lutherie.

Always get your information from anonymous sources who refuse to post their own names on the Internet.

And, please do not revile snarky luthiers. They may have a reason for their sarcasm...
 
How about a rule that thread titles should be correctly spelled in standard English? Or does that inspire h8 4 me in u 2?
 
How about a rule that thread titles should be correctly spelled in standard English? Or does that inspire h8 4 me in u 2?

Standard American English or Standard English English..of the Oxford variety........? Or standard Lol Catz English which meanz Rulz iss oK..........Are all you Luthiers the enemy of Superman or is it just the one called Lex?:eek:
 
I'm a Deadhead. I have grooved on Mickey Hart playing a steel I-Beam strung with piano wire.

In my musical world, there are no rules...


Scooter
 
Well, of course, I didn't mean "Rules," even though that is certainly implied in the text, but "Rulez," which is to "Rules," as "truth" is to "truthiness ..."

"Rules" are serious; "Rulz" are just silly ...
 
So were ukuleles, according to many spouses.

Here's another one: Always precede ukulele with an okina (to the rest of us, an apostrophe) and never add S to form the plural: one 'ukulele, two 'ukulele—no matter how much English is twisted to emulate Island pidgin English.

Wait! What? You mean the plural form of ukulele is not "ukuleli?" *facepalm*

BTW, this thread has made my day. Very funny!
 
So were ukuleles, according to many spouses.

Ha ha! And that is why I live alone :)

Perhaps I should amend my statement to "...as long as nobody, or nothing, gets harmed in the process"...
 
No ukuleles were harmed in the making of any of my divorces...and no spouses were harmed in the making of any of my ukuleles.
 
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