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Thread: Today's Chuckle

  1. #581
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
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    USA
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    3,736

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    Here's one from a family member in FL, this dog is certainly getting plenty of shade

    IMG_0090.jpg
    John

  2. #582
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Tampa Bay, FL
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    A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were. "We have two basic needs honorable Sir", replied the villager leader. "Firstly, we have a hospital but no doctor." On hearing this, the politician brought out his phone, after speaking for a while he told them not worry, a doctor will be there tomorrow, and he asked for the second problem. "...secondly Sir, there is no cellphone reception anywhere in this village."
    "Those who bring sunshine and laughter to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves".

    Music washes from the soul, the dust of everyday living.

  3. #583

    Default

    Maybe it’s the wine but......I was thinking that being an astronaut currently on a mission to the moon would probably be the worst time to find out you are a werewolf.

  4. #584
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    Dec 2009
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    USA
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    I think I'm getting either virus tonight while watching the Super Bowl...maybe both

    CORONA.JPG
    John

  5. #585
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Tampa Bay, FL
    Posts
    8,693

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    Good one John....

    Top Ten Signs You Know You've Joined a Redneck HMO...


    10. Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape.

    9. The only 100% covered expense is embalming.

    8. Your Prozac comes in colors and has little "m"s on each pill.

    7. Preventive Care Coverage includes "an apple a day".

    6. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

    5. The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy.

    4. The only proctologist lists his address as Rotorooter.

    3. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

    2. Directions to the Dr.'s office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park".

    1. The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter's
    "Those who bring sunshine and laughter to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves".

    Music washes from the soul, the dust of everyday living.

  6. #586
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Location
    Dallas, Texas
    Posts
    4

    Default

    So the new conductor addresses the orchestra. He tells them that things are going to change, that everyone will be expected to be on time and that they will work for many long hours. The timpanist, expressing his displeasure at the turn of events, belts out on the drums BOOM-BOOM- BOOM-BOOM. The conductor, whirling around furiously, says, "Alright, who did that?!"

  7. #587
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Location
    San Francsico Bay Area
    Posts
    145

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    Dear Algebra
    Please stop asking us to find your ‘X’
    She’s never coming back
    And please don’t ask ‘Y’

  8. #588

    Default

    My wife keeps complaining that there are two things about me that bugs her....one is that I never listen and I forget what the other thing is......

  9. #589

    Default

    A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank..
    The rabbit says, "I think I might be a type-O!"

  10. #590
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,736

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    If they don't get this Corona thing straightened out before tick season, we'll be facing Corona with Lyme. :-)
    John

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