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Thread: Today's Chuckle

  1. #701
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Catskill Mountains, NY
    Posts
    7,435

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickie View Post
    My neighbor's 4-year-old has been learning Spanish, but he doesn't even know how to say please in the language. This is poor for four.
    Good one! I'll pass that along.
    Too many ukes, but I can't stop buying!
    https://www.catskillukulelegroup.com/

  2. #702
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    100

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    I see that NASA has put a restaurant on the Moon......I hear the food’s great but it lacks atmosphere...

  3. #703
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
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    100

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    At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table.

    Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.

    "This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods.

    The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming woman I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

    "No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

  4. #704
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    100

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    My wife sez I don’t communicate. I mean really, I have 47 notifications on my Facebook .....yesterday I came home and found a note on the fridge....it said “ it’s not working, I’ve had it, I’m staying at my mothers”....I opened the door, the light was working and the beer was cold.....don’t get it.

  5. #705
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Catskill Mountains, NY
    Posts
    7,435

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    Quote Originally Posted by rps View Post
    My wife sez I don’t communicate. I mean really, I have 47 notifications on my Facebook .....yesterday I came home and found a note on the fridge....it said “ it’s not working, I’ve had it, I’m staying at my mothers”....I opened the door, the light was working and the beer was cold.....don’t get it.
    I know what you mean. She probably wrote that note and then forgot what it was that wasn't working, so she just stuck it on the fridge. : )
    Too many ukes, but I can't stop buying!
    https://www.catskillukulelegroup.com/

  6. #706
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    New England, USA
    Posts
    4,130

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    John

  7. #707
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    100

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    You know with so many dangerous cults out there, now is the time to practice safe sects......

  8. #708
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    100

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    A stand-up comic gets a gig to perform at a old age home.
    Soon into his act he notices that most of the old people there are pretty out of it so he tries to tell the same joke twice and people still laugh cos they have already forgotten that they just now heard it.

    So he gets a kick out of it and keeps telling the same joke for half an hour and towards the end of it he notices that one old guy is staring at him. He finishes his half hour and is about to leave and that old guy approaches him.

    The comic is a bit nervous that the old guy is gonna confront him about what he just did. He braces himself for some uncomfortable confrontation and the old guy ask him "How do you remember all those jokes?!"

  9. #709

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    What do you prefer, boxers or briefs?

    Depends

  10. #710
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    New England, USA
    Posts
    4,130

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    Jeffrey Dahmer says...IMG_6624.jpg
    John

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