Too many ukes, but I can't stop buying!
https://www.catskillukulelegroup.com/
I see that NASA has put a restaurant on the Moon......I hear the food’s great but it lacks atmosphere...
At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table.
Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.
"This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods.
The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming woman I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."
My wife sez I don’t communicate. I mean really, I have 47 notifications on my Facebook .....yesterday I came home and found a note on the fridge....it said “ it’s not working, I’ve had it, I’m staying at my mothers”....I opened the door, the light was working and the beer was cold.....don’t get it.
John
You know with so many dangerous cults out there, now is the time to practice safe sects......
A stand-up comic gets a gig to perform at a old age home.
Soon into his act he notices that most of the old people there are pretty out of it so he tries to tell the same joke twice and people still laugh cos they have already forgotten that they just now heard it.
So he gets a kick out of it and keeps telling the same joke for half an hour and towards the end of it he notices that one old guy is staring at him. He finishes his half hour and is about to leave and that old guy approaches him.
The comic is a bit nervous that the old guy is gonna confront him about what he just did. He braces himself for some uncomfortable confrontation and the old guy ask him "How do you remember all those jokes?!"
What do you prefer, boxers or briefs?
Depends
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