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Thread: Today's Chuckle

  1. #711
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    A Plymouth greeting

    IMG_3320.jpg
    John

  2. #712
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    I wasn’t allowed to say anything until today, but it's now okay for me to share that I have volunteered for the Covid-19 vaccine trials that Oxford University are running in partnership with other Northern European countries. It's important that we all do our part to beat this virus.

    The vaccine is the one that was originally developed in Russia. I received my first dose this morning 9:20 am, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι perfecебя alrigстрно untiдумю, что вытл осные уши. чувству себя немго страo.

    Regaнемs

    Richarстраo
    "Those who bring sunshine and laughter to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves".

    Music washes from the soul, the dust of everyday living.

  3. #713
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    Nyet!............
    John

  4. #714
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickie View Post
    I wasn’t allowed to say anything until today, but it's now okay for me to share that I have volunteered for the Covid-19 vaccine trials that Oxford University are running in partnership with other Northern European countries. It's important that we all do our part to beat this virus.

    The vaccine is the one that was originally developed in Russia. I received my first dose this morning 9:20 am, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι perfecебя alrigстрно untiдумю, что вытл осные уши. чувству себя немго страo.

    Regaнемs

    Richarстраo
    Excellent!
    Too many ukes, but I can't stop buying!
    https://www.catskillukulelegroup.com/

  5. #715
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    To mask or not to mask....
    mask.jpg
    "Those who bring sunshine and laughter to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves".

    Music washes from the soul, the dust of everyday living.

  6. #716
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nickie View Post
    To mask or not to mask....
    mask.jpg
    Good one. Someone told me that Dr. Fauci said that planes aren't as bad as many people think. The real danger lies in the airport - hundreds of people from all over, coming and going.
    Too many ukes, but I can't stop buying!
    https://www.catskillukulelegroup.com/

  7. #717
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    Jun 2019
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    Ouch.......

    The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise.

    Two months ago, my husband Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." (You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.)

    "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." (Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirm uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.)

    "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." (All the men sighed with unified relief.)

    The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

    A man slowly stood up and walked just as slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum

  8. #718
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    Quote Originally Posted by rps View Post
    Ouch.......

    The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise.

    Two months ago, my husband Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." (You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.)

    "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." (Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirm uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.)

    "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." (All the men sighed with unified relief.)

    The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

    A man slowly stood up and walked just as slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum
    It's good that the surgeon knew the difference between those words.

    That reminds me of a story from years ago. A man went into the hospital to have a bad leg removed. Unfortunately, the surgeon removed the wrong leg. When he realized his mistake, he had no choice but to remove the other leg.

    When the patient found out what had happened, he sued the hospital, but he didn't have a leg to stand on.
    Last edited by Jerryc41; 11-30-2020 at 09:09 AM.
    Too many ukes, but I can't stop buying!
    https://www.catskillukulelegroup.com/

  9. #719
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    Jun 2019
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    Jerryc, I’m a little sensitive to leg jokes right now. I tripped over a box of Kleenex and I thought I sprained my ankle.....but the Doc said it was just tissue damage.

  10. #720
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    Quote Originally Posted by rps View Post
    Jerryc, I’m a little sensitive to leg jokes right now. I tripped over a box of Kleenex and I thought I sprained my ankle.....but the Doc said it was just tissue damage.
    "God bless you!"

    Funny - I received the email about this post last night, but it didn't appear until a few minutes ago.
    Too many ukes, but I can't stop buying!
    https://www.catskillukulelegroup.com/

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