Throw the bums out!

I come to UU quite a bit. Normally, it is a very enjoyable experience. UU is still the best ukulele forum I've ever seen. But I think it;s high time that some changes be made....or at least one....I almost hate to write this....
When someone behaves in a childish, small minded, bickering way, trying to pick a fight....first offense....
KICK THEM OFF THE FORUM FOR GOOD.
Most of us come here for a good time, to obtain useful knowledge. There is a lot here.
Once is a while, like tonight, I see an honest, well meaning thread go quickly awry, and degrade into selfish, immature, hateful garbage.
It is making me question whether I should risk coming back and reading another thread.
Nobody's perfect, no forum is perfect, but we should not have to come here and read the nonsense of people engaging in dumb--- foolishness.
I've said my piece, and if I'm wrong, PM me. If you think I'm right, Moderators, tell me, and please consider my request.
Thanks for listening.

I would respectfully disagree. I think the maximum punishment for a first time offense is egregious. People make mistakes, especially newbies. Closing someone out of a forum as useful as UU could throw them off the instrument forever, and I don't think that's good for anyone. Repeat offenders are of a different sort, but a single transgression? Seems like a petty, vindictive thing to do.

Nickie, you are a little harsh in your condemnations. grahamdh is right that misunderstandings can lead to heated temper flare-ups. Comrade CeeJay gets into this kind of spat a lot. He means no harm and spends a lot of time apologizing. Nickie would you throw CeeJay out of UU for good for one or two misunderstandings? I think not.

IMO people who repeatedly engage in trollish behavior and attempt to instigate Flame wars should be banned from posting for a month. If the behavior then reappears banned for another month. 3rd time out!

I must say UU exhibits the least amount of this brutish type of behaviour of any community I have ever been involved in. I cringe when I have to try to find something buried in Ultimate Guitar for example. Banjo HangOut is pretty civilized, (for banjo players that is), but even there they have problems once in a while.

Mudcat Cafe has an interesting dynamic. It is very good for songs and folklore, but wild and wooly. Too complex to even characterize here let alone explicate.

Meanwhile, over on a bodybuilding forum, two guys are having a ferocious argument about how many days there are in a week.... Gotta love the internet.

PS. Just to clarify, I know this thanks to Twitter. I don't hang out on bodybuilding forums

I remember when I first joined a forum. I bumped a 7 year old thread and was yelled at (or the text equivalent) for it, which made me not post on the forum for 3 months. My point is, if you go around banning people for making rookie mistakes, you'll kill off many people who could become valuable members.

IamNoMan said:

I cringe when I have to try to find something buried in Ultimate Guitar for example.

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I feel bad for being a cretin on the UG forums now.

Sorry.

I totally agree! Ukes are about beautiful instruments making people smile with their happy sounds. Opinions and preferences are fine. Let's keep it positive!
Kid Caviar

TheBathBird said:

Meanwhile, over on a bodybuilding forum, two guys are having a ferocious argument about how many days there are in a week.... Gotta love the internet.

PS. Just to clarify, I know this thanks to Twitter. I don't hang out on bodybuilding forums

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I do. Most folks are nice.


Its just the internet. If it is getting on your nerves, take a couple days off.

Kid Caviar said:

I totally agree! Ukes are about beautiful instruments making people smile with their happy sounds. Opinions and preferences are fine. Let's keep it positive!
Kid Caviar

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Are you positive that you've heard my ukelele ?????

Actually having just read the thread that the OP refers to, I think Nickie may be the one that is out of line? I didn't see any personal attacks. Who are you to be calling for the thread to be closed? I'm sure you mean well but help me understand...

If a particular person's posts annoy you there's always the ignore list. So you can "kick off" first time offenders yourself.

Thanks guys....I get a little steamed sometimes....I used to run a forum....I used to "chew people out" for arguing, told them to meet in person and see if they'd say the same stuff. I stand corrected....there may be a couple here that I should privately "ban".
I just have a hard time with nastiness, there's so much of it, why do we need it here.....?
Anyway, let's have fun....now where did I leave my uke.....LOL

I understand your being upset with bad behavior! I have been flamed for just trying to be helpful so 1. I have decided to use the "Ignore" button a LOT more, and 2. Intend to really reduce my posting and thus my time spent on UU by a vast amount, at least in the forum. One thing that is nice to see is that some of the people who were egregious assholes have cleaned up their acts, and others have been banned or have left. So things have a way of settling out.

Also no one can "make" us feel a certain way, everything is an inside job, meaning we have buttons (usually installed by our parents) that others' behavior "pushes", causing a conditioned reaction inside us. The biggest buttons are injustice and unfairness, and bullying. When people are generally uncivilized or dickish try having some compassion, because they are generally clueless, ignorant and wounded people who don't know how bad they suck at interpersonal relations. Before I figured out that bullies were usually bullied at home and were just passing it along, I wanted to beat them all to a pulp with a tire iron, just kidding, I wanted to kiss their booboos and make it all better. Now I understand the anger at injustice is because I have been bullied from childhood and was raised by abusive parents, and because of that had abusive relationships which just prevented healing and exacerbated my PTSD. My PTSD still gets me triggered so woe be to the serious bully who gets me on a bad day if I can't hold on to my equanimity and I have a bat nearby, (just kidding!); but again I feel it's way better to adjust my own attitude than try to change someone else's, which never works anyway.

TL;DR The world is full of "bums", don't take them personally because it only hurts you.

Nickie said:

Anyway, let's have fun....now where did I leave my uke.....LOL

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There you go!

CeeJay said:

Are you positive that you've heard my ukelele ?????

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yep!

was all this due to a geography dispute between bands? can't think of anything really on this forum that was contentious. I am used to youtube forums where it gets real ugly sometimes.

Nickie said:

we should not have to come here and read the nonsense of people engaging in dumb--- foolishness.

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Oh the irony. Do you see it?

Nickie said:

I've said my piece, and if I'm wrong, PM me. If you think I'm right, Moderators, tell me, and please consider my request.
Thanks for listening.

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So if we think you are wrong we are to hide in PM, why are we to hide our displeasure of your public request/complaint? Should we shut down all communication with those we disagree with at times? Throw them all out and build a wall?

If you don't want to listen to others opinions or have your own opinions, thoughts or beliefs questioned or heavens forbid challenged then don't share them with the world. This whole view of yours seems rather negative to me. You have indirectly called other members here BUMS because you are different than they.

Nickie said:

I used to run a forum....I used to "chew people out" for arguing

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Really? This thread is pitiful, you couldn't even get your point out without vilifying others by name calling from the gate. Mean? being a jerk? Its all in the perspective of the reader. Arguing with people for arguing all while under the guise of disliking the argument that is what you're saying right?

This forum is most awesome, as a general statement to everyone reading please stop trying to impose your vision of utopia on all of us. If you decide to reduce your posting or start putting people on ignore ask yourself as adults why the need to announce these intentions? It seems reminiscent of a tantrum for not getting your way or another form of bullying I think. Otherwise its just being mean.

I happen to like the eclectic mix of minds and attitudes here. I'm one of the happiest people I know, friendly to a fault. Personally I'm not happy anyone was banned, hopefully is was for a real reason and not just a different attitude than most.

Good luck on the path to "your" aloha.

Teek said:

I understand your being upset with bad behavior! I have been flamed for just trying to be helpful so 1. I have decided to use the "Ignore" button a LOT more, and 2. Intend to really reduce my posting and thus my time spent on UU by a vast amount, at least in the forum. One thing that is nice to see is that some of the people who were egregious assholes have cleaned up their acts, and others have been banned or have left. So things have a way of settling out.

Also no one can "make" us feel a certain way, everything is an inside job, meaning we have buttons (usually installed by our parents) that others' behavior "pushes", causing a conditioned reaction inside us. The biggest buttons are injustice and unfairness, and bullying. When people are generally uncivilized or dickish try having some compassion, because they are generally clueless, ignorant and wounded people who don't know how bad they suck at interpersonal relations. Before I figured out that bullies were usually bullied at home and were just passing it along, I wanted to beat them all to a pulp with a tire iron. Now I understand that feeling is because I have been bullied from childhood and was raised by abusive parents, and because of that had abusive relationships which just prevented healing and exacerbated my PTSD. My PTSD still gets me triggered so woe be to the serious bully who gets me on a bad day if I can't hold on to my equanimity and I have a bat nearby; but again I feel it's way better to adjust my own attitude than try to change someone else's, which never works anyway.

TL;DR The world is full of "bums", don't take them personally because it only hurts you.

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I think such talk of violence needs to be quoted as things like this have a way of getting lost. All I should say is I'm glad for you that you have control of these demons.

Getting mad at words over thoughts and ideas is just childish. I was well loved and raised very well mannered I cannot see why a difference of opinion on an internet forum would ever evoke such feelings.

~peace~

Teek, you're a genius....thank you for your compassionate words. You re-instructed me in what I'm already sposed to know.
Al, I think you were a little rougher on me than you needed to be....I spend a lot of my time sticking up for underdogs....and was bullied a lot as a kid...but I never bully anyone. I already said that "I stand corrected".
I work four evening shifts a week as a hospice nurse. I give and give and give. If I did it for the money, I sure wouldn't be doing this. Now if you still want to tell me I'm a bully, or that my thoughts are pitiful, well, then I guess that's your perogative

IamNoMan said:

yep!

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Thanks, this really made me smile!

We need promote goodwill and practice kindness in all of us, good forum etiquette and dispell over talking above others pubically.. if something needs
to be said... there is the option of the PM... why flame a thread...