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Thread: Uke Joaks

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Nor Cal USA
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    1,147

    Default Uke Joaks

    There's a Will Rogers quote about the ukulele to the effect of you can't tell if the guy is really playing it or just fooling around.

    I think he was talking about me!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
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    Aurora, IL US
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    1,650

    Default

    I left my ukulele in the back seat of my car when I went shopping. When I got back I found that someone had broken a window and tossed in 3 more ukes.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Aurora, IL US
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    1,650

    Default

    How do you fet a professional ukulele player away from your front door?
    Pay him for the pizza.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Upper US
    Posts
    1,367

    Default

    How many ukes does it take to cure UAS?

    Nobody knows...it's never been tried.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Cornwall UK
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    Default

    Q. What's the definition of perfect pitch?

    A. Throwing a ukulele into a rubbish bin... and hitting a mandolin.

    (Old, old joke )
    I'd like to be under the sea...

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    2,290

    Default

    ROFLMAO to all the above...

    and below...
    Last edited by UkerDanno; 08-12-2017 at 04:02 AM.
    Just Play

    Sopranos: 1st uke, Lanikai soprano LU-11 - Aquilas | 30's Martin style 0 - Martins | Fender Piha'eu - Worth Browns | Lanikai banjolele - Worth Browns
    Concerts: Kanile'a K-2 CP - Living Water | Islander AC-4 - Living Water | Ohana CK-35-8 - Living Water | Kala KA-ACP-CT - Living Water, low G
    UBass: Kala Exotic Mahogany - Road Toad Pahoehoe

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Prospect, Connecticut
    Posts
    271

    Default

    Which instrument will burn faster, an ukulele or bagpipes? Who cares!
    What do you call an ukulele player with a business card? An optimist!
    How many Ukulele players does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
    Most of these jokes are recycled accordion jokes. The light bulb one was originally about the group U2 and the world revolves around Bono!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    163

    Default

    A group of terrorists hijacked a plane full of ukulele players, and called ground control with a list of demands.
    They told the negotiator if their demands weren't met they would release one ukulele player an hour!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Location
    Fresno County
    Posts
    46

    Default

    What is the difference between a fish and a ukulele? You can tuna a UKE, but you can't tuna FISH!

    that happens to be my ukulele choir's favorite joke. Our first loaner ukulele was this little piece of junk that we called Tuna, it wouldn't stay in tune and it sounded more like a sitar.

  10. #10

    Default

    Q: How do you get an ukulele player to play in tune?

    A: Nobody knows.


    Q: What are the advantages of a Tenor ukulele over a soprano?

    A: The Tenor burns longer.

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