I find myself in a similar situation. I want to impart music on my offspring but in a completely effective manner without developing resentment.
My story:
My parents made me take piano lessons as a kid. I hated it.
They made me take band when I went into the 7th grade and my mother wanted me to play flute. I hated it.
Apparently a few weeks into the year my band director (Mr Denton) noticed my attitude and one day suggested I fill the empty tuba chair. I came home with a tuba and my mother was quite beside herself. Suddenly tuba seemed pretty cool.
I turned 13 or 14 and wanted to play bass guitar so my buddies could start a band. My parents came home one day with an upright bass and let me borrow an electric from a guy at church. They also loaned me their old record collections and let me start exploring music.
They gave me rides to a local guitar shop where I got to hang around and do odd jobs and learn licks from the regular jam sessions.
Meanwhile, they constantly raided my room for "inappropriate" and secular music and discouraged me from playing rock and blues. They bought me a stereo and constantly told me my music was garbage and I was playing it too loud.
Somewhere in there I got pretty hooked.
My research:
I read a lot and I listen to tons of music. I enjoy reading biographies of musicians while exploring their music. In my readings I have noticed certain patterns... Fundamental early knowledge of music (grow up going to gospel singings, mama sang in a nightclub, daddy played the old piano, etc) and parents who tried to make you do something better than waste your life playing music.
My plan:
I plan to completely inundate my kids life with music. I always have something playing. If my kiddo comes in and says "Daddy, I don't like this song can we listen to _______?" I'm totally on board.
I also have musical instruments everywhere. We have guitars, a piano, an organ, ukulele, basses, bagpipes, drums, etc. (But no toys. I figure a toy guitar with buttons on it will never teach anything about playing guitar.)
BUT:stop:
This is the important part.
When my kid hits about 14, 15, 16 and (hopefully) is really trying to learn and play music while dreaming of being a rockstar, I plan to completely discourage this behavior.
"TURN THAT CRAP OFF AND GO MOW!"
"CUT YOUR HAIR AND GO GET A JOB!"
"YOU KIDS AND YOUR MUSIC THESE DAYS!!!"
ld:
etc.
and all the while, I will be paying for lessons, going to concerts, recitals, soundproofing my garage, buying new amps, posting on oboeoverground.com and everything else to provide a solid base for musical learning.
In short, give the kid every opportunity to grow up with it but when they rebel, and they will rebel, let them rebel by playing music.:music: Music that you hate
Check back with me in about 14 years. If this works I'm gonna write a book.