spots
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- May 9, 2009
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Yep, it’s that time of the day again.
Cousins Cooter and Bufford asked if they could come over to the bunker for breakfast. I said no. They decided it would be fun to surprise me anyhow. Gratefully between the two of them they are about four cents shy of a clue, and so couldn’t find the bunker. That outhouse I keep on a portion of the neighbor’s back 40 has been worth its weight in gold.
So what can be so bad about breafast with the Cousins? Well you remember that Possum in a Can meal around Thanksgiving? Breakfast isn’t much better.
No matter how many times I tell them “throw some grits on the barbie” isn’t a real thing, they ignore me and keep trying. It just doesn’t work.
For a long time I have been convinced that the Cousins were the original writers for The Three Stooges. You can see Curly throwing grits on a barbie. Of course that would make Bufford and Cooter, like 1,000 years old... but that might explain a few other things about them too.
Have you seen the mess “throw some grits on the barbie” makes? It ain’t pretty.
Now coming over for some pancakes, bacon and eggs, and toast with apple butter, that would be good. Just don’t let the Cousins supply the bacon. I’ll give you a hint... there is a reason there is no such thing as possum bacon.
You see awhile back they noticed that turkey bacon was making headway as a healthy alternative. They decided that they wanted to create an economic empire and become tycoons. They figured there was room enough for three bacons. And after going to the public library and reading every economics and business book they could get their hands on, they developed a business plan.
It was surprisingly logical, but none the less misguided.
They knew they had to start with a good supply of low cost meat as the source of their bacon if they were going to be able to pocket large profits.
That’s where the plan went off the rails.
They reasoned that if meat was from animals, and that you killed the animals to get the meat... then why spend the money on raising and feeding live animals only to... you get the point.
Then as they were driving down the road one day they saw a dead possum along the side of the road, and the 2 watt light bulb went off.
Yep, they figured they could make twice the money if they got the county contract for clearing roadkill, and then used the roadkill as a source for their bacon.
This is why you never let them provide the bacon.
Oh, and they say good morning to you all.
Cousins Cooter and Bufford asked if they could come over to the bunker for breakfast. I said no. They decided it would be fun to surprise me anyhow. Gratefully between the two of them they are about four cents shy of a clue, and so couldn’t find the bunker. That outhouse I keep on a portion of the neighbor’s back 40 has been worth its weight in gold.
So what can be so bad about breafast with the Cousins? Well you remember that Possum in a Can meal around Thanksgiving? Breakfast isn’t much better.
No matter how many times I tell them “throw some grits on the barbie” isn’t a real thing, they ignore me and keep trying. It just doesn’t work.
For a long time I have been convinced that the Cousins were the original writers for The Three Stooges. You can see Curly throwing grits on a barbie. Of course that would make Bufford and Cooter, like 1,000 years old... but that might explain a few other things about them too.
Have you seen the mess “throw some grits on the barbie” makes? It ain’t pretty.
Now coming over for some pancakes, bacon and eggs, and toast with apple butter, that would be good. Just don’t let the Cousins supply the bacon. I’ll give you a hint... there is a reason there is no such thing as possum bacon.
You see awhile back they noticed that turkey bacon was making headway as a healthy alternative. They decided that they wanted to create an economic empire and become tycoons. They figured there was room enough for three bacons. And after going to the public library and reading every economics and business book they could get their hands on, they developed a business plan.
It was surprisingly logical, but none the less misguided.
They knew they had to start with a good supply of low cost meat as the source of their bacon if they were going to be able to pocket large profits.
That’s where the plan went off the rails.
They reasoned that if meat was from animals, and that you killed the animals to get the meat... then why spend the money on raising and feeding live animals only to... you get the point.
Then as they were driving down the road one day they saw a dead possum along the side of the road, and the 2 watt light bulb went off.
Yep, they figured they could make twice the money if they got the county contract for clearing roadkill, and then used the roadkill as a source for their bacon.
This is why you never let them provide the bacon.
Oh, and they say good morning to you all.
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