So for about the past 3 weeks Matt has been warring with us. He is bad about doing his college homework and his grades are suffering so we took away his cell phone (it always comes down to playing games too much) and he has been a total A-hole. At present, things are back to normal. I keep telling him that this isn't the same as high school, but he doesn't get it. The work isn't too hard for him, he just knows what he can get away with. This all led to a discussion with my oldest brother, he had a period of 2 years where he and his son didn't speak while living in the same house, also his son's first 2 years of college. It eventually worked itself out and my nephew is a good hard working adult now.
What was interesting is that we decided it was more or less normal for some kids and that they were still using their adolescent brain which doesn't have to listen to reason. Tookta and I had wondered if making him get a job for a year and then going back to college later might be a good idea, my brother said that might be a bad move. He said it'd be easy for him to get used to a minimum wage job while still living with us and not having to pay for everything and in essence make him content to just get by. In the end we decided the best thing to do is just keep him in school until he grows up however financially painful that might be.