Mrs Pere's brother is in town to look after MIL & FIL. FIL is fading, but not fast. MIL is scrambled and in denial a lot. BIL is the vice-patriarch. In this family system I don't have much authority or credibility. So I just slouch along, being helpful whenever I can. I learned long ago that whether I have opinions or not, it doesn't really matter; the result is the same. The sibs, one of the spouses, and 3 grandsons are authorized. The rest of us are spectators and support staff.
This may sound more bitter than I intend. There isn't much family anger on display despite the challenging circumstances. The biggest issue for me is that Mrs Pere wanted to have some kind of reconciliation with her father. He's been cruel/rude to her for years. He's too far into his dementia now for that to happen, yet some of the rudeness continues. She feels it extremely. For that, I am bitter.