::Leader Board:: Ahnko Honu Takes The Lead Chapter 23!

So happy we went to the beach yesterday!
Although it was gorgeous out this morning, it is now grey, threatening to rain, HOT, and muggy.
Supposed to rain tomorrow too.
 
Perhaps an appointment with a psychologist or psychiatrist might help? My oldest had been struggling for years until she got professional help. We were just chatting about how it took her almost 3 years to get to the point where she can function more rationally now that she’s gotten help. Prior to that she relied on week almost 100% of the time.

My eyes have been really opened up regarding mental illness and all the varying degrees of it. I used to blame her irrational behavior on her lack of maturity and laziness, I now recognize it as something that can be helped with drugs and therapy.

He refuses.
He’s 22.
We can’t make him.
He’s uninsured.
Thanks anyway.
 
He refuses.
He’s 22.
We can’t make him.
He’s uninsured.
Thanks anyway.
well mine didn’t seek help until she was 30. Her dad tried to get her to go prior to that, she did some, but until SHE decided she needed help no one could help her. She still has her moments when she panics about stuff (gawd forbid she runs out of her meds)but I can see her really trying to catch herself from going down the rabbit hole now and visiting her doc when things go bad.

Give him time.
 
Getting ready to go to Canoe Hut.
Just got word that the musicians will be playing at the golf course bar near our house next Thursday. Yay!
This once-monthly Hawaiian music fix is rough.
In other news, I feel my Karaoke chops have improved.
 
Re: therapy.
Yeah, change, even when assisted from outside forces, ultimately must come from within.
Pobody's nerfect.
 
I have my weekly (not that kind of weekly!) jam session this morning, and then Chick-fil-A for lunch. Tomorrow is juggling club.

Life is good....
 
James was at a basketball camp all week long and had his first experience with a bully.

After the first day he asked me to come down and watch for a bit to verify what he was talking about. So I watched. He was right, the kid is 11 and about 5'8" tall and he was in every sense of the word, a bully.

I really wanted to intervene for him. Who am I kidding, watching the kid shove James when he faked him out and drove past him made me want to go smack the kid on the head and yell at him to knock it off.

Anyhow, I explained to James that he will encounter bullies during his life and he'll need to work it out on his own. After watching this kid that day I just told James not to back down on the court. To take everything he had and give it back to him by not backing down on the court and going harder at the kid. I asked James how the kid reacts when other kids complain or say something back to him and he said the kid laughs or smiles and does it even more. So I told James not to give the kid that satisfaction that he's getting under his skin. I told him that when the kid fouls him when he's going in to score to tell him "the only way you can stop me is to foul me" to give it right back to him verbally (but don't hit him or play dirty).

Every day when I picked him up James would tell me all the stuff that "Jerkface" did that day and then he would tell me what he did in return. I told him to keep doing what he was doing and not back down playing, and to ignore the insults. Most of the insults were about basketball so I told him to just keep playing him hard and let him know you're going to be in his face every play on the court. The poor kid got a few bruises from "Jerkface's" dirty play but he didn't complain . . . much. Thursday I went to go watch for a bit because James said he was in the semi finals for the one on one contest. That kid plays really dirty and I told the "coach" to get off his phone and ref the game like he was supposed to, that someone was going to get hurt if he let them play like that. That was pretty much my only intervention but that's a whole another story. Anyhow, Jerkface made it to the finals and so did James. I've never seen him play so hard. He was pissed off and really wanted to beat Jerkface. Jerkface won because of his height advantage though. James walked up to him after the game and gave him a "fist bump" and said "Nice game. I'll get you next time."

Yesterday when I picked him up he said "Jerkface is still a Jerkface but he was really nice to me today. He even asked if he could eat lunch with me, Jeremy and Michael (James' buddies who we signed up with). "He even said I would have beat him one on one if he wasn't so much taller. That was weird."

First bully conquered and my kid didn't hit anybody. Win. Actually, I don't think he has it in him to hit another kid unless the kid is hurting one of his friends/family.
 
James was at a basketball camp all week long and had his first experience with a bully.

After the first day he asked me to come down and watch for a bit to verify what he was talking about. So I watched. He was right, the kid is 11 and about 5'8" tall and he was in every sense of the word, a bully.

I really wanted to intervene for him. Who am I kidding, watching the kid shove James when he faked him out and drove past him made me want to go smack the kid on the head and yell at him to knock it off.

Anyhow, I explained to James that he will encounter bullies during his life and he'll need to work it out on his own. After watching this kid that day I just told James not to back down on the court. To take everything he had and give it back to him by not backing down on the court and going harder at the kid. I asked James how the kid reacts when other kids complain or say something back to him and he said the kid laughs or smiles and does it even more. So I told James not to give the kid that satisfaction that he's getting under his skin. I told him that when the kid fouls him when he's going in to score to tell him "the only way you can stop me is to foul me" to give it right back to him verbally (but don't hit him or play dirty).

Every day when I picked him up James would tell me all the stuff that "Jerkface" did that day and then he would tell me what he did in return. I told him to keep doing what he was doing and not back down playing, and to ignore the insults. Most of the insults were about basketball so I told him to just keep playing him hard and let him know you're going to be in his face every play on the court. The poor kid got a few bruises from "Jerkface's" dirty play but he didn't complain . . . much. Thursday I went to go watch for a bit because James said he was in the semi finals for the one on one contest. That kid plays really dirty and I told the "coach" to get off his phone and ref the game like he was supposed to, that someone was going to get hurt if he let them play like that. That was pretty much my only intervention but that's a whole another story. Anyhow, Jerkface made it to the finals and so did James. I've never seen him play so hard. He was pissed off and really wanted to beat Jerkface. Jerkface won because of his height advantage though. James walked up to him after the game and gave him a "fist bump" and said "Nice game. I'll get you next time."

Yesterday when I picked him up he said "Jerkface is still a Jerkface but he was really nice to me today. He even asked if he could eat lunch with me, Jeremy and Michael (James' buddies who we signed up with). "He even said I would have beat him one on one if he wasn't so much taller. That was weird."

First bully conquered and my kid didn't hit anybody. Win. Actually, I don't think he has it in him to hit another kid unless the kid is hurting one of his friends/family.

This is the last year we will go to this camp.

Not just because of the bully but the way the staff handled it. After the first day there was a group of parents that went to complain about the kid because their kids didn't even want to go to camp any more. The "coach's" reaction was to dismiss it as "boys will be boys." That pissed me off so I went to the guy who runs the camp and explained what was going on and that his coach's attitude is what leads to asshats like Brock Turner (the Stanford swimmer that raped the unconscious girl). That got his attention and he spoke with the kid about belittling other kids and picking on them. That part stopped, but he was still playing dirty and talking smack about basketball constantly to the other kids.

The other part was that if the coach wasn't so preoccupied with his cell phone a lot of the overly physical play wouldn't have been happening. Yesterday I sent an email to the owner of the camp with a few video clips of the kids playing while the coach was on the phone ignoring what was going on.

The other reason we won't be going back is that our kids skill level has out grown this camp. It's fun for them to be together and play but even they were saying they would rather go to a camp that is going to work them harder and teach them new skills.
 
Oh, honey. Just look at me at UWC. I’m seldom plain old sober. I’m quieter. Unless I’m drinking. Then I’m chatty.


Then I think you need an intervention because every time I see you, you are chatty :biglaugh:

(chatty in a very good and lovable way)
 
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