Sotu 330 "furniture, fixtures & fittings"

LimousinLil · Jun 12, 2018

STOP PRESS!!!

Firstly, good morning from deepest France ... where I no longer seem to be suffering from buffering! As of today, the song limit has been lifted with the proviso that, if you want to proceed beyond three songs, a GOOD joke must be provided (Linda L. please note!) This applies to everyone but Rex, who seems to have completely ignored the 3-song limit, but has, fortunately, already provided some good jokes!

JUST A NOTE: If anyone does that thing where they look at how long people have actually listened to their songs and finds that despite the effusive comments, the listener has only heard about five seconds of your efforts (well, it happens to me!), I would point out that because of my monthly allowance of time on the Internet, I often download a song to hear it as it is less costly timewise than listening to the whole song online. So, if you find that I seem to be commenting on your song without actually having heard a note of it, this is truly not the case ... I have heard and enjoyed EVERY word and note!

Now I have got that off my chest, here is this morning's joke:

lelouden · Jun 12, 2018

Good Morning Val!

Here's a children's song I found. It involves candles.
Everyone should have a good candle in their house right?!

lelouden · Jun 12, 2018

By the way. I went with candles because I look horrible under fluorescent lights.

Speaking of florescent lights.....Why do fluorescent lights hum?......Because they forget the words!
:stop:

LimousinLil · Jun 12, 2018

Linda!!!!

pabrizzer · Jun 12, 2018

another paoriginal

Learning To Fly · Jun 12, 2018

A short original for your season Val, it was quicker to write and record this than learn Our House by CSNY. Perhaps you ought to write a song called Internet Blues for your own season, we'll allow you to swear

Yukio · Jun 12, 2018

I don't have much in the way of furniture, but I do have a tiny table and a floor.

wee_ginga_yin · Jun 12, 2018

Scotsman and a Finn are attending the funeral of a friend who had died.
Both of them own him 50€. The Scotsman smitten in his conscience
open his wallet took out a 50€ note and threw it into the grave on
top of the coffin. Not to be outdone the Finn takes out his cheque book
and writes out a cheque for 100€ throws it on the coffin and takes the Scotsman's
50€ and leaves.

And now for a bonus Polka or two.

LimousinLil · Jun 12, 2018

wee_ginga_yin said:
Scotsman and a Finn are attending the funeral of a friend who had died.
Both of them own him 50€. The Scotsman smitten in his conscience
open his wallet took out a 50€ note and threw it into the grave on
top of the coffin. Not to be outdone the Finn takes out his cheque book
and writes out a cheque for 100€ throws it on the coffin and takes the Scotsman's
50€ and leaves.
Great joke, Sir! Perhaps I should have mentioned again that the jokes were supposed to be about furniture, fixtures and fittings. However, I forgive you. (Not quite sure what that joke indicates about the Finnish character!)

stanat20 · Jun 12, 2018

Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains
Just pull yourself together man
Pathetic

Croaky Keith · Jun 12, 2018

LimousinLil said:
wee_ginga_yin said:

Scotsman and a Finn are attending the funeral of a friend who had died.
Both of them own him 50€. The Scotsman smitten in his conscience
open his wallet took out a 50€ note and threw it into the grave on
top of the coffin. Not to be outdone the Finn takes out his cheque book
and writes out a cheque for 100€ throws it on the coffin and takes the Scotsman's
50€ and leaves.
Great joke, Sir! Perhaps I should have mentioned again that the jokes were supposed to be about furniture, fixtures and fittings. However, I forgive you. (Not quite sure what that joke indicates about the Finnish character!)

Click to expand...

I think it infers that Finns are more practical........................a cheque can be cancelled!:biglaugh:

LimousinLil · Jun 12, 2018

Croaky Keith said:
I think it infers that Finns are more practical........................a cheque can be cancelled!:biglaugh:

You are probably correct, Sir! (And, come on, Keith ... how about a song?)

lelouden · Jun 12, 2018

Croaky Keith said:
LimousinLil said:

I think it infers that Finns are more practical........................a cheque can be cancelled!:biglaugh:

Click to expand...

:smileybounce:

Tootler · Jun 12, 2018

Croaky Keith said:
LimousinLil said:

I think it infers that Finns are more practical........................a cheque can be cancelled!:biglaugh:

Click to expand...

The cheque will be buried with the coffin and will never be cashed; crafty ld: b*gger

Tootler · Jun 12, 2018

Child Ballad 275. The joke is in the song. Leastways, the song is humorous.

LimousinLil · Jun 12, 2018

A big thanks to all today's contributers. Don't forget, if you want to contribute more than three songs, then you must pass the "furniture, fixtures and fittings" joke test first. Hoping for plenty more songs tomorrow!

Our dog NEVER sleeps on the bed!!! Good night from deepest France!

UkuleleLibrarian · Jun 12, 2018

So I’m still trying to get the song limit lifted for myself, and none of my jokes have passed the Val test. Do you guys have IKEA in France?

mythinformed · Jun 12, 2018

Croaky Keith said:
LimousinLil said:

I think it infers that Finns are more practical........................a cheque can be cancelled!:biglaugh:

Click to expand...

Oops Well I was laughing at the part where the Scotsman opened up his wallet !!

Angus called in to see his friend Donald to find he was stripping the wallpaper from the walls. Rather obviously, he remarked "You're decorating, I see." to which Donald replied "Naw. I'm moving house."

DelGriff · Jun 12, 2018

Here’s another favourite of mine - originally by Dido. It also contains one of my favourite lyrics ever: “And even if my house falls down now I wouldn’t have a clue - because you’re near me...” , which so perfectly captures that feeling of being so consumed by the person you’re with that you are oblivious to everything and everyone else around you.

It also contains the words bed, window, wall and door!

Recovering Bassist · Jun 12, 2018

This is one of my favorite songs, and a sad one, that always "gets" me. I did this last year, but tried it on the "Finnish Ukulele" now. This was a good chance to practice walk ups and downs on the mandolin, and man do I ever need practice on it, first time I really tried it on this instrument.

Sotu 330 "furniture, fixtures & fittings"

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