I wasn't entirely satisfied with my first attempt at "I Believed" and gave it a bit of a revision. Not sure if this Season's rules address revisions or not, but I thought it might be an opportunity to get some feedback on songwriting.
The revision has a slightly different chord progression, and has had one line of lyrics removed from each verse. I also dropped the original outro. It is a bit shorter in time now, but may be too simplified and redundant with the refrain structure at the end of each verse. I'd love to hear any constructive suggestions, because I still don't feel I've captured exactly what I had hoped to.
If anyone is interested, please feel free to suggest alternative lyrics, melody, chord progression etc. and record and share it with many thanks from me. I'm a bit stuck on it at this point, I think!
I BELIEVED (Revised):