Playing A Newbie's Uke Without Discouraging Her?

Awesome story. The woman in my story is going to be playing a song I've never even heard before, so I can't really help her with it until I get to know the song. I think she said it "only has" five chords, one of them being a Dm. Seems like too many changes for a newbie, but at least there are no B chords in it!
 
Lol I care very little about tiptoeing about peoples' egos when it comes to this kind of thing.

There is no objective reason for hurt feelings.
Skill is skill.

No need to assume your skills will discourage her.
If it was me, I'd demonstrate the extent of my skills and give her a few pointers if she wants them.
If she's butthurt because she realises that she's not the next Jake Shimabukuro, that's her loss.

I have the expectation that everyone should have a realistic sense of their abilities and current limitations.

I am not saying that my own playing is pro-level, but I know how to play to my best potential (which can impress most lay people) and know where I am at in my musical journey of self-improvement. Giving others a reality check when I can is satisfying in its own way.

Be careful of "reality checks". If you aren't completely smazing, and are "showing thr extent of your skills", the reaction you get will be relative to what people percieve you are doing,though you may not realize it. If someone who isn't absolutrly amazing starts showboating, I will just be laughing inside. I won't make it obvious as I don't want to hurt feelings, but if they are going to show off, they better be damn good. Of course I am quite appreciative of those with lesser skills who are not showing off, but just playing. I also saw someone showing off once. It was just sad.
 
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Ne careful of "reality checks". If you aren't completely smazing, and are "showing thr extent of your skills", the reaction you get will be relative to what people percieve you are doing,though you may not realize it. If someone who isn't absolutrly amazing starts showboating, I will just be laughing inside. I won't make it obvious as I don't want to hurt feelings, but if they are going to show off, they better be damn good. Of course I am quite appreciative of those with lesser skills who are not showing off, but just playing. I also saw someone showing off once. It was just sad.

One does not necessarily have to be dazzling to be good. When Pete Seeger first heard Bob Dylan singing and playing in Greenwich Village he told Kris Kristoferson that Dylan was the worst singer that he had ever heard. Seeger said a month later everyone in NYC was trying to sound like Bob Dylan. One of the people who was inspirational to me when I was first getting started was a fellow who I would see at a lot of farmers markets and festivals playing the guitar. He was not a particularly good singer. His playing was rudimentary, yet he had a following that showed up wherever he played. He had heart, and he had a great presence that more than made up for it. He gave me hope, as I'm never going to dazzle anyone with either my singing or my playing, but I try. On the opposite side of it, I've heard and watched people who have amazing skills when it comes to playing the ukulele give a lifeless performance.
 
OK, I'm going to assume that this thread has moved on and is no longer about people thinking I want to "show off" in front of a 70-something-year-old lady who just got her first uke a couple of weeks ago. If anyone directs replies at me from this point on, please give me the courtesy of reading my original post.

I am not an amazing player, but I am probably a better player than the woman I described above. I was torn about whether playing my best "fooled 'em again" licks for her (as someone who has talked before about "toying around" with a uke in the past) would encourage her or have the opposite effect. I think I'm just going to call in sick tomorrow!
 
It depends a lot on her and what she's looking for. I've found all of the following very useful as a learner:
  • Simplified stuff at my level but played clean. Demonstrate how I can sound good with what I know
  • Something slightly over my head, but just enough that I can reach for it next. This gives something to work on
  • Something cool at your comfort level (not stretching to where you can't play it clean). This can show what my uke can do and dismisses blaming the instrument for problems in my fingers

From your estimate of her skill level, the base level may be to play a simple chord progression (she knows five - that's two more than needed!) on the one and aim to playing it cleanly and regularly.
Once you get her song then have her sing while you play and vice versa.

Show her a path to playing simply and musically rather than over-complicated for her skill level.

--Rob (who should concentrate on simple but well done himself!)
 
Ne careful of "reality checks". If you aren't completely smazing, and are "showing thr extent of your skills", the reaction you get will be relative to what people percieve you are doing,though you may not realize it. If someone who isn't absolutrly amazing starts showboating, I will just be laughing inside. I won't make it obvious as I don't want to hurt feelings, but if they are going to show off, they better be damn good. Of course I am quite appreciative of those with lesser skills who are not showing off, but just playing. I also saw someone showing off once. It was just sad.

I'm not an advocate of showboating either. Showboating is embarrassing.

I am coming from the perspective of being a sufficiently experienced musician with enough skills to be able to teach others.
Having a superior skill to others and "showing" it does not equate to showboating. Having those abilities and showing someone with an unchecked ego of where they stand and what they should strive for is not "showboating" either.

I don't mean rub it in their face.
Let the music speak for itself, in a more subtle way ;)

By the same token, the inexperienced player should have a good learning attitude and be open-minded about receiving guidance (especially if they asked for it). The kind of people who think they have nothing to learn (when they clearly do) are the ones I am referring to giving a "reality check".

More applicable to young children than adults, if I hadn't pointed that out.
 
OK, I'm going to assume that this thread has moved on and is no longer about people thinking I want to "show off" in front of a 70-something-year-old lady who just got her first uke a couple of weeks ago. If anyone directs replies at me from this point on, please give me the courtesy of reading my original post.

I am not an amazing player, but I am probably a better player than the woman I described above. I was torn about whether playing my best "fooled 'em again" licks for her (as someone who has talked before about "toying around" with a uke in the past) would encourage her or have the opposite effect. I think I'm just going to call in sick tomorrow!

I hope it goes well and you have fun doing it. And that you both get something out of it. Best of luck.
 
OK, I'm going to assume that this thread has moved on and is no longer about people thinking I want to "show off" in front of a 70-something-year-old lady who just got her first uke a couple of weeks ago. If anyone directs replies at me from this point on, please give me the courtesy of reading my original post.

I am not an amazing player, but I am probably a better player than the woman I described above. I was torn about whether playing my best "fooled 'em again" licks for her (as someone who has talked before about "toying around" with a uke in the past) would encourage her or have the opposite effect. I think I'm just going to call in sick tomorrow!

Hi Tom, your dilemma is appreciated, and for what it's worth, I think it's kinda neat, when sitting down with someone who's just starting, to first just keep things as simple and straightforward as possible, and then, once you've imparted that foundational knowledge, you can spark their enthusiasm to keep learning and practicing by saying something like, "Now, if you keep at it, and stay persistent, you can eventually take things up a notch and do little extras like this..." (at which point you show her one or two licks or techniques that will allow her to get a flavor of what lies on the horizon if she is willing to stay with it). And I think the effect will indeed be to encourage her!
 
Well put, Bill. Thank you. It turned out SHE was sick the day I was supposed to see her again, so I have another week to work it out. With some time having passed, it all seems a lot less important now!
 
Well put, Bill. Thank you. It turned out SHE was sick the day I was supposed to see her again, so I have another week to work it out. With some time having passed, it all seems a lot less important now!

While you have been stressing on your end, she has been frantic worrying about how she will come across as an unaccomplished beginner with this stud experienced player. Being sick was her way out...
 
You gotta be careful. Okay, this story is about a young lady vs a seventy year old woman, but from my own perspective seventy isn't that old. My story is that two or three summers ago an acquaintance of my niece persuaded me to give her daughter ukulele lessons. She was starting from the ground. It took her two weeks just to learn to strum the dang thing. We met regularly for the summer and at the end of the summer I still thought that I was much the better ukulele player and that I was showing the youngster a thing or two by golly. We parted and she went off on her own. So a couple weeks ago I ran into her at an open mic and OMG, she was good. Much better than I am. Obviously she has been getting more out of her practice than I've been getting out of mine. I humbly asked her if she wanted to give me ukulele lessons.
 
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Great story. Years ago, when I was playing drums for "oldies" rock and roll shows, the very young son of Lee Andrews ("Teardrops," "Long, Lonely Nights," "Try The Impossible") showed up at a gig to play drums with his Dad. I had been booked to back all the groups on the bill, so I wasn't sure what to do. It was a four-show weekend engagement, so the band and I figured we'd let him do the sound-check, see how it went, and then act accordingly. He was competent, so we decided to let him play the set with his Dad. Over that weekend, we became buddies and I showed him a bunch of stuff, which he absorbed like a sponge.

'Never really thought much about it after that, except that it felt good to give a "kid" (probably 10 years my junior) some tips about playing drums in a large concert hall, approaching each beat with conviction, etc. Just recently, I found out that the "kid" turned out to be Quest Love, drummer for The Roots, Jimmy Fallon's house band. I wonder if he'd let me sit in with THAT band as payback for all those years ago?
 
One does not necessarily have to be dazzling to be good. When Pete Seeger first heard Bob Dylan singing and playing in Greenwich Village he told Kris Kristoferson that Dylan was the worst singer that he had ever heard. Seeger said a month later everyone in NYC was trying to sound like Bob Dylan. One of the people who was inspirational to me when I was first getting started was a fellow who I would see at a lot of farmers markets and festivals playing the guitar. He was not a particularly good singer. His playing was rudimentary, yet he had a following that showed up wherever he played. He had heart, and he had a great presence that more than made up for it. He gave me hope, as I'm never going to dazzle anyone with either my singing or my playing, but I try. On the opposite side of it, I've heard and watched people who have amazing skills when it comes to playing the ukulele give a lifeless performance.

Totally agree, but when showing off, it tends to be comical if you aren't. There are lots of great players who don't show off, but when someone tries to be impressive and they aren't up to snuff, it just shows a need to be recognized, and without great skill, thats just sad and needy. Some, like Janis Joplin are amazing because they play / sing with incredible heart. But they are never trying [ to show off. If they were, they couldn't play with heart.
 
While you have been stressing on your end, she has been frantic worrying about how she will come across as an unaccomplished beginner with this stud experienced player. Being sick was her way out...

OR she was sick.
 
I'm not an advocate of showboating either. Showboating is embarrassing.

I am coming from the perspective of being a sufficiently experienced musician with enough skills to be able to teach others.
Having a superior skill to others and "showing" it does not equate to showboating. Having those abilities and showing someone with an unchecked ego of where they stand and what they should strive for is not "showboating" either.

I don't mean rub it in their face.
Let the music speak for itself, in a more subtle way ;)

By the same token, the inexperienced player should have a good learning attitude and be open-minded about receiving guidance (especially if they asked for it). The kind of people who think they have nothing to learn (when they clearly do) are the ones I am referring to giving a "reality check".

More applicable to young children than adults, if I hadn't pointed that out.

Agreed, I just didn't understand that the newbie had[ an unchecked ego.
 
Agreed, I just didn't understand that the newbie had[ an unchecked ego.


If you're referring to the newbie in my original post, NO,she does not have an unchecked ego. She's a mature woman who got through life thinking she had a better-than-average singing voice and really doesn't sing very well at all. Oh, and despite that minor delusion, she's one of the nicest people I've ever met. I'm a little uncertain how she would handle not getting all the attention in the room when she pulls out the uke, as the poor thing really believes she's a vocal goddess who never got her lucky break. Maybe I'm just over-thinking the whole thing. Can we drop this now?
 
This thread has wandered a bit (as threads often do) so I went back and re-read the original post. If someone asked me to "show her a few things before the next rehearsal" then my clever response would be to do exactly what she requested. Brilliant, huh?

Offer to meet up with her sometime. Ask what she's working on. Ask if there's anything she wants to get feedback about. Is there a chord or a strum or a song that she'd like to get some coaching on? Let her know that you are happy to help her.

When I work with beginners (or even with experienced musicians -- some much better than I am overall -- who have a weak spot that I can maybe help with) I pick ONE thing to work on at a time. Nobody can handle more than that. ONE good tip will go a lot farther than unloading a ton of information that nobody can remember (I used to write corporate training -- I know whereof I speak.)

Here, let me show you a strum that works really well with this song. Leave your index finger right where it is on the F chord and move the other two fingers like this to form the G7. Relax your throat, inhale from your diaphragm and now try singing that phrase again. If you're not comfortable singing in that key, here's how to use a transposing wheel. One at a time.

Since you are the supposed "expert" then you should be able to hear somebody play and make a smart choice about the ONE thing you can suggest right away that will have the biggest and best impact to improve that person's performance and comfort level.

That's if you want to make it all about helping somebody get more enjoyment from playing uke. If it's all about you showing off, that's an entirely different thing and shame on you.

ETA: If it's all about the other person showing off, then it's best to stay out of the way ;-) I would demonstrate something quickly and hand the uke back. No need to play an entire song, no need to do it loudly, and no need to command attention because it does not sound like this is a competition you want to enter.
 
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If it's all about you showing off, that's an entirely different thing and shame on you.

Somebody please tell me I'm misinterpreting that line and that acmespaceship isn't taking shots at me for something I never said.

I never thought the tone of THIS forum could be as mean-spirited as the tone of the BICYCLE forums, and I hope I am wrong in thinking that is the case.

I have tried to express my concern multiple ways. Either I'm a bad communicator, or some of you out there are just looking to take pot shots at me for some unknown reason. In any event, I am unsubscribing from this thread now and will not be responding to any more of the comments here.

Thanks to those of you who understood my original post and replied without judgment.
 
You're definitely not a bad comunicator, I understood your concern very easily, and English is not my first language. I honestly don't know what's wrong with people.
 
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