I feel a bit ashamed that I have gotten so much pleasure out of what is evidently an affliction. Dang, half the fun of UU was seeing what other people are buying and selling. It is ruined for me now.
That post made me guffaw, Rllink. I'm now imagining criminal 'ukulele deals as part of the UU mythos:
"Are you interested in a
'ukulele Portuguese machete? I've got one for sale." You look up from latching your case to see your uke group leader holding a Lanikai with an adjustable saddle. You've never owned an 'ukulele like this before, and you're tempted. You can hear your spouse in the other room, regaling the other spouses with a story about your kitten's recent trip to the vet.
"More
'ukuelele paraphernalia yard tools would be nice," you think as you bend forward to pull out the matted wad of bills you keep under the sole of your shoe. You steel your nerves for what's sure to be a fraught negotiation, but then you recall that this exact scenario was covered in your last 'Ukulelists Unnamed meeting ("What to do when your uke group leader offers you an 'ukulele"). "I really can't. I'm going sober, trying to break my
UAS undergrowth abolishment syndrome."
The ease with which you speak these words reassures you, but your leader appears crestfallen. "But it's just one more adze," he chimes. The club leader shifts the 'ukulele slightly, and you can now see the depth of the soundboard's wood grain. Your pulse quickens. The leader intones their next words carefully, giving each its full measure. "Just think how nice it'd be to
strum chop down those
strings spiderwebs your SO hates so much."
The words worm their way into your psyche. It's been 7 months since you last showed up to the uke circle with a new find, and as your hands begin to shake, you can almost feel the strings under your fingertips. In the other room, your spouse is just getting to the part in the story where the veterinarian gives the kitten its first squirt of cheese whiz.
Steel yourself, you think as you recall the training ("Step 1: Redirect the conversation").
You try to change the topic. "Hey, are you sure we should be using the names of large bladed objects as code for musical instruments? Isn't that a violation of UU's marketplace guidelines?"
"Those guidelines only apply to the marketplace; besides, their moderator just quit." Suddenly, an apparition of Buddhuu holding a lightning bolt coalesces near the ceiling. The leader's Lanikai 'ukulele bursts into flames as your wad of bills decomposes into a fist of 'ukulele string clippings, and you both feel the following words crash into your brain: "Thou shalt not discuss the sale of martial arts weapons. Heed my words, thou foul and pitiful victims of the UAS plague!"
As the spirit of Buddhuu disapparates, you both collapse in bereavement for the charred 'ukulele. Your spouse, responding to the sudden noise, appears in the doorway, and you sob as you apologize for succumbing to the temptation of yet one more 'ukulele. Your uke group leader, for their part, is already browsing the UU marketplace looking for their next addition.