I played guitar (i was very mediocre, at best) for about 40 years - self taught. I learned chords from chord diagrams in Alfred's Basic Guitar Course Book 1, and then started buying songbooks with the words and chord charts for songs I knew (Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel, etc.). I had always been good at recognizing melodies and progressions (I played "Name That Tune" in the car with my parents before the show was ever on TV), so I applied that to playing.
The first song I ever figured out on my own was "American Pie", and I'd been playing it for years before I ever saw sheet music for it - I had actually gotten the chords right! But I have been a miserable failure at trying to read tablature or notation... I can
follow notation ( notes go up, notes go down, that's flat, that's sharp) but couldn't tap out a rhythm based on time signature ( other than 4/4 and 3/4) to save my life. (I'd been kicked out of drum lessons after 6 months because I couldn't do a 1/4 note roll, the most basic of rhythms.)
I came to ukulele after arm surgery for a torn tendon and ligament made playing guitar painful. 2 years after giving up guitar, my father-in-law gave me an old Harmony uke that hadn't been touched in over 20 years. I tuned it, and played it, (and retuned, and retuned... stupid friction tuners!) and bought a better uke. And another, and another, and another...
I don't pay attention to strum patterns. For one thing, I have problems with my right arm and shoulder now, and I can't strum as fast as some of them want you to. But mostly, if I can't hear it in my head, I can't play it. I can't hear most strum patterns, and "down-up-down-down-up-down-up" goes into my head like Charlie Brown's teacher. (wah, wah, wahhhh...)
But play it, don't say it? if it isn't too fast, I can do it. (Think of "Lookin' Out My Back Door", by CCR...)
Finger picking started out totally random on the guitar. Then, while in college, I watched a guy at the Heritage Arts Festival in Salem, WV play "Tennessee Stud" on a classical guitar. I'd already been listening to Doc Watson flat pick it, and kept getting lost. Watching someone use multiple fingers play the song... I learned how to finger pick it, THEN learned to flat pick it.
I've learned over the years to trust my ears, and how the sound translates into my mind. If I can hear it, I can generally make something sound similar. That has really paid off when playing with others, especially on songs I don't know. And everything I learned on the guitar has translated to the Uke, only I'm much better at uke.
That's another point: The best way to get better at somethings, be it music, theater, or some sports, is to interact with people who are a) better than you, b) willing to give advice, and c) not so blown away by their own awesomeness that they reject you out of hand.
Watch the Seasons, here on UU. There are some folks who are incredible! And then there are those of us who may not be that phenomenal, but have fun anyway.
And no one on this thread has given you bad advice. Use those parts that work for you, and enjoy!
-Kurt