Favorite Sayings, or ones you just remember

plunker

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A smooth sea never made a good mariner


Truth that's told with wrong intent
beats all the lies you can invent

If you have to eat a frog, don't sit there and look at it, it never gets any prettier.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. You waste your time and irritate the pig.

Thank God for the fleas.
 
I'm a car guy, so a lot of my phrases relate to that.

Car designer Colin Chapman is famous for saying something like "simplify, and add lightness" regarding sports car design. But, my favorite take on that is that he also is known to have said "keep adding lightness until something breaks, then put some back!"

One phrase that I coined myself that became very common in my local autocross club came from a day when a friend of mine was out trying to learn his new single-seat formula car. I'd never driven the car, but I knew the previous owner, and I knew how fast the car was... and he was nowhere near what the car could do because he'd never driven anything with the kind of grip this car had. Simply not driving it hard enough, not even close. So, as he rolled up to the start line, he asked me what he needed to do to go faster, and I told him, "Scott, here's what I want you to do. I want you to go out there, push harder and suck less!" So, the phrase "push harder, suck less" lived on. Scott even put it on a plaque on the dashboard of that car!

Another one I've come up with that I use on my driving students (I'm a driving instructor) is Loren's Two Rules of Driving:
Rule #1: People are stupid, expect it. If you're always expecting every person you see on the road to do the dumbest thing you can imagine, then you've always got plan B in your head, and you're ready for anything.
Rule #2: Don't be stupid! Think of all the things other drivers do that make you crazy. Don't be that guy.
Two simple rules, the world would be a happier place if everyone lived by them.

"There are no surprises in this world if you're thinking far enough ahead." - Another one that I tell my driving students, but it applies to so much more than that.

"If you can't go fast on 90 horsepower, 900 won't help you." - Michael Jordan (Automobile Magazine)

"It's more fun to drive a slow car fast than to drive a fast car slow."

"Straights are for fast cars, curves are for fast drivers."

"It's not how fast you go, it's how little you slow down."

"Racing makes heroin addiction look like a vague wish for something salty." - Peter Egan (Road & Track Magazine)

"If one oversteps the bounds of moderation, the greatest pleasures cease to please." - Epictetus

"Beware the fury of a patient man." - Publilius Syrus

Another set of rules:
Rule #1: Don't sweat the small stuff.
Rule #2: It's all small stuff.

Variant of above:
Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet sweaty things.

"If you can't find the time to do it right the first time, how will you ever find the time to do it again?"

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger." - Friedrich Nietzsche

My wife's favorite related to the chaos of the workplace:
"Not my circus, not my monkeys."

"We do the difficult while you wait, the impossible takes a little longer."
 
Do the best you can with what you've got.

There is such a thing as enough.

If ivver tha does owt fer nowt – Allus do it fer thissen. (I added this one just for fun!)

John Colter
 
Why is everything I find always in the last place I looked?
 
Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.

That inspires me to create one. I've been a Macintosh user since 1986, and over the years I've done support work, training, and even designed databases to run businesses. Officially I retired from that, but will help friends as they need it. The other day a friend called with a problem on how to prepare a video since I do photography and video editing. I answered without having to think about it, and he immediately called me a genius. My reply to him was, not really, just a lot of experience. So my saying is:

Genius is when experience meets opportunity.


This is Michael Kohan in Los Angeles, Beverly Grove near the Beverly Center
8 tenor cutaway ukes, 4 acoustic bass ukes, 12 solid body bass ukes, 14 mini electric bass guitars (Total: 38)

Donate to The Ukulele Kids Club, they provide ukuleles to children in hospital music therapy programs. www.theukc.org
Member The CC Strummers: www.youtube.com/user/CCStrummers/video, www.facebook.com/TheCCStrummers
 
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When life gives you lemons
Bake chocolate chip cookies
—Tracy Woodard—

(Just because life hands you something, that doesn’t mean you have to accept it)
 
Four out of three people have difficulty with fractions.
 
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience - Mark Twain

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak - Alan Dundes

I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception - Groucho Marx
 
Four out of three people have difficulty with fractions.

Reminds me of: 64% of all the world's statistics are made up right there on the spot and 82.4% of people believe 'em whether they're accurate statistics or not. - Todd Snider

Todd goes on to say, "Now I don't know what you beieve, but I do know there's no doubt I need another double shot of somethin' 90 proof. I've got too much to think about."
 
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I used to work for an old market gardener with a couple of other summer students and when one of us would do something stupid, he'd say, "He couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel."
 
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

If things don't change, they'll stay as they are.

Half the time you're right, half the time you're wrong, & the other half, you don't know.

Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

You couldn't organize a piss up in a brewery.
 
Why is everything I find always in the last place I looked?

I find the same :biglaugh:

A lot of the sayings I had in mind earlier have already been added but here are some more:

A stitch in time saves nine.

There’s now’t so daft as folk.

If wishes were horses then beggars would ride.

There’s no point in crying over spilt milk.

He’s so tight, he’d nip a currant in two.
 
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(When something you made has a small defect)

"A blind man on a galloping horse wouldn't notice it".
 
My Dad had a few I grew up with. People who grew up in the depression had a different view of life:
But Dad, if...If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his butt every time he landed.
Dad I want... Dad I want... Dad I want... People in Hell want ice water, but they can't have it.
 
Redundancy is better than saying the same thing over and over again once too many times also.


(I think I came up with that when I was in 7th or 8th grade...)

Welcome to Upstate New York. If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes You still won't like it, but it will be different.
 
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