Not So Nice?

Jerryc41

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I visit another forum where the personal attacks have gotten so bad that Admin had to set up a separate section for nastiness. One thing I appreciated when I joined UU was the civility and politeness. That seems to be changing, though.

I notice more and more negative comments that are totally unnecessary. It used to be that a member would apologize when he realized that something he said could be taken the wrong way. Now, it seems that people are looking for ways to insult and put down others. Why?

This is a ukulele forum. It's not about politics or religion, so we don't have to fight and attach each other. There's that old expression: "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."
 
Good point, Jerry. My very best "musical buddy" and I are probably on opposite ends of the political spectrum, but we have an unwritten agreement that politics needn't be the source of our fulfillment in life, and that therefore we simply don't need to discuss politics when we get together. We spend our time working on songs and arrangements, laughing and joking, and drinking coffee. By the way, I hope I'm not one of the folks who said something snarky without realizing it! Sometimes that can happen with the printed word! I guess that's why the use of smiley-faces is a good idea on occasion!
 
My experience is most of the true ukulele players are kind. In all forums there are trolls who are there just to be nasty.
 
My experience is most of the true ukulele players are kind. In all forums there are trolls who are there just to be nasty.


I will third that. My almost 7 years here have been 99.99999% conflict free. I think people are feeling the strain over the last 12 months from the pandemic. Some might snap or be aggressive when normally they wouldn’t. There is a feature on this site where you can block someone. You never see any of their posts again. I have used it once and it works great.
 
My experience is most of the true ukulele players are kind. In all forums there are trolls who are there just to be nasty.

It has been my experience that most people are kind and considerate, ukuleles aside. That's why those who aren't stand out.
 
In the seven plus years I've been a UU VIP member, I've only had to block one person, otherwise everyone is always very nice. I will admit that I have on rare occasion been harsh, for which I have apologized. When Rayan put out the post about the difficulties they face with this forum and suggested other sites, I tried them, including Cosmos in England, but I was deterred by the attitude they exuded, so I stopped attending. I'm very happy that the UU forum is still carrying on.


This is Michael Kohan in Los Angeles, Beverly Grove near the Beverly Center
8 tenor cutaway ukes, 4 acoustic bass ukes, 12 solid body bass ukes, 14 mini electric bass guitars (Total: 38)

Donate to The Ukulele Kids Club, they provide ukuleles to children in hospital music therapy programs. www.theukc.org
Member The CC Strummers: www.youtube.com/user/CCStrummers/video, www.facebook.com/TheCCStrummers
 
On the other side of the coin, and not so much on this site, is people with such thin skin that they take every comment in the worst way possible, jumping to unintended conclusions and making something HUGE out of nothing. It seems to be the way of the world to become hurt over the smallest things these days. People surround themselves in eggshells and whine over anything just to be politically correct.
 
My mother used to say, "It takes all sorts to make a world." She was right, too.

John Colter
 
On the other side of the coin, and not so much on this site, is people with such thin skin that they take every comment in the worst way possible, jumping to unintended conclusions and making something HUGE out of nothing. It seems to be the way of the world to become hurt over the smallest things these days. People surround themselves in eggshells and whine over anything just to be politically correct.

I come from a culture of meat eaters, show a glint of weakness and you're meat. It's pretty hard to offend me. But I also realize that a lot of people, people I like, are not like that. So I try to temper myself accordingly and save the attack mode for my friends out looking for a fight. There are enough of them to keep me fed.
 
As John says, it takes all kinds, thankfully, 90+% are good folks. :)

Sorry to hear that you feel aggrieved, Jerry, hopefuly it will pass. :music:
 
One of the problems with written words is that you can't see the speaker's expression as they "speak". Which is why emojis were invented. It clues in the reader if something is intended in jest or humor and not snark or meant to be hurtful.

I know I have apologized a few times about something I wrote. That came across as more aggressive or angry than intended. I try to remember to include a smiling emoji to ensure that readers know a remark is intended as a gentle jibe and not a putdown.

Humor is a slippery thing. One person's jest can be interpreted as hurtful by another. All sorts of cultural, geographic and even generational backgrounds can affect the way things are expressed. And lead to misunderstanding.

So far, this Forum has been very respectful of others and the jibes good-natured and fun. :)
 
I'm not easily triggered by what people put online. But Jerry is right, UU is no place for attack, rudeness, or low class Comments about each other. If you wanna be funny, why not go to the Chuckles section of the General heading here in UU?
As it says in the song Biscuits, If ya don't have somethin' nice to say, don't say nothin' at all....
I'm involved in a forum about politics, and even there, a person can be readily banned for attacking another poster.
Can we just be nice?
 
Having been on BBS and IRC since the early 90s I've seen many iteration of online communication and UG is like a carebear server to me :)
 
Three questions to ask yourself before posting:

  1. Is it true?
  2. Is it kind?
  3. Is it helpful?
 
I've always found things remarkably nice here at UU, although a recent thread about clip-on tuners got a bit Snarky! :biglaugh:
 
As John says, it takes all kinds, thankfully, 90+% are good folks. :)

Sorry to hear that you feel aggrieved, Jerry, hopefuly it will pass. :music:

I'm not aggrieved or personally offended. It's just that I've noticed more unpleasant, unnecessary comments being posted, and that's a change from earlier times.
 
I visit another forum where the personal attacks have gotten so bad that Admin had to set up a separate section for nastiness. One thing I appreciated when I joined UU was the civility and politeness. That seems to be changing, though.

I notice more and more negative comments that are totally unnecessary. It used to be that a member would apologize when he realized that something he said could be taken the wrong way. Now, it seems that people are looking for ways to insult and put down others. Why?

This is a ukulele forum. It's not about politics or religion, so we don't have to fight and attach each other. There's that old expression: "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."

If everyone played the ukulele, the world would be a nicer place. A quote from Jake. Let's keep it that way. Thanks for bringing this up Jerry. Much aloha!
 
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