Not So Nice?

I visit another forum where the personal attacks have gotten so bad that Admin had to set up a separate section for nastiness. One thing I appreciated when I joined UU was the civility and politeness. That seems to be changing, though.

I notice more and more negative comments that are totally unnecessary. It used to be that a member would apologize when he realized that something he said could be taken the wrong way. Now, it seems that people are looking for ways to insult and put down others. Why?

This is a ukulele forum. It's not about politics or religion, so we don't have to fight and attach each other. There's that old expression: "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Funny you should mention this Jerry and I’m sad to say that I think that you’re correct. In the years that I’ve been here there has almost always be a spirit of Aloha here which maybe some people have lost and newer arrivals aren’t aware of.

I’ll take this definition of Aloha: “Aloha is an essence of being: love, peace, compassion, and a mutual understanding of respect. Aloha means living in harmony with the people and land around you with mercy, sympathy, grace, and kindness.”

https://www.skylinehawaii.com/blog/the-meaning-of-aloha

Three questions to ask yourself before posting:

  1. Is it true?
  2. Is it kind?
  3. Is it helpful?

I think that that is a pretty good general guide and all forums would be better places for sticking with the spirit of it.

Of course sometimes things that are not kind need to somehow be expressed, but so long as it’s done in away that can be accepted then that’s fine. However, if it can’t be said in a suitable way then sometimes it is indeed better to say nothing at all and wait for a more suitable opportunity to help positive change.

Cosmos was mentioned further up the thread. I’m a member of Cosmos too, in my experience it’s not a forum that will suit everyone. However, once you get used to it and you better understand it’s ‘different’ nature, it’s really not a bad place. Cosmos is like Marmite: some people like it and some really do not. I like Marmite and I like Cosmos too ... but IMHO potential members should expect it to be a case of YMMV.
 
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It is a shame that when people get together with a common interest some people have to focus on differences. I have been to other uke sights and some of the vitriol is disturbing. I think we all could present ideas and beliefs that other would not only not agree with but find objectionable. but chose not to do so. But that is not why we are here. I thank everyone for their help, advice and encouragement and willingness to share knowledge on playing and some very entertaining videos. Onward and upward.
 
It is a shame that when people get together with a common interest some people have to focus on differences. I have been to other uke sights and some of the vitriol is disturbing. I think we all could present ideas and beliefs that other would not only not agree with but find objectionable. but chose not to do so. But that is not why we are here. I thank everyone for their help, advice and encouragement and willingness to share knowledge on playing and some very entertaining videos. Onward and upward.

"Amen" to that, Plunker!
 
On the other side of the coin, and not so much on this site, is people with such thin skin that they take every comment in the worst way possible, jumping to unintended conclusions and making something HUGE out of nothing. It seems to be the way of the world to become hurt over the smallest things these days. People surround themselves in eggshells and whine over anything just to be politically correct.

This seems like bait to start fights, exactly what the OP was talking about.
 
UG aint perfect but it's the best damn thing we got :)
It's the only forum I bother to visit.
 
"This seems like bait to start fights, exactly what the OP was talking about"

Are you serious?

John Colter
 
"This seems like bait to start fights, exactly what the OP was talking about"

Are you serious?

John Colter

Of course I'm serious. Calling people "politically correct" is one of the oldest baiting tactics on the internet. It's been a way to start fights since the USENET days. It's the internet equivalent of when one of your kids punches his brother and then blames him for fighting back.
 
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Of course I'm serious. Calling people "politically correct" is one of the oldest baiting tactics on the internet. It's been a way to start fights since the USENET days. It's the internet equivalent of when one of your kids punches his brother and then blames him for fighting back.

I agreed with Kaelrie's assessment, shook my head and moved on.
 
I fail to see how the post from Mike$ (above) could be taken as provocative. It was simply stating a very reasonable personal opinion, one which seems to be illustrated by some of the responses.

John Colter
 
I fail to see how the post from Mike$ (above) could be taken as provocative. It was simply stating a very reasonable personal opinion, one which seems to be illustrated by some of the responses.

John Colter

Because the term politically correct is most commonly used (and was invented as a means) to police/attack a certain band of beliefs and devalue opinions from this band of belief. One could say that all types of hate speech, for example, is one's "personal opinion" but most of us agree that certain racists and sexist opinions just don't have a place in public discourse. As such, the notion of personal opinion in this sense can be viewed as a defense against just what this post calls for---civility and kindness.
 
"Politically correct" is a very useful term, as is "virtue signaling".

John Colter
 
"Politically correct" is a very useful term, as is "virtue signaling".

John Colter

Maybe there’s been some thread drift but I’d be surprised if anyone accused Jerry of being ‘politically correct’ or ‘virtue signalling’ - and people too often tell me that I’m not ‘PC’ and that I’ve no ‘virtues’. I can’t say that I find people stating ‘personal opinions’ is always helpful, well not when it’s used as a way to ride rough shod over what someone else thinks and might be sensitive about ... might have done it myself, but I don’t claim to either be an Angel or to never make mistakes.

I still recon that one of the big pluses of this place is people being and trying to be nice to each other. Of course there’s sometimes room for the very easily offended to consider whether a more tolerant view of others would help the world go around. However, and perhaps more importantly, if someone can’t post in a truthful, helpful and non-adversarial way then I’d rather they kept quite and found somewhere else to post - I don’t believe that I’m alone in that view. The spirit of Aloha is important, let’s keep it alive hear.
 
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Maybe there’s been some thread drift but I’d be surprised if anyone accused Jerry of being ‘politically correct’ or ‘virtue signalling’ - and people too often tell me that I’m not ‘PC’ and that I’ve no ‘virtues’. I can’t say that I find people stating ‘personal opinions’ is always helpful, well not when it’s used as a way to ride rough shod over what someone else thinks and might be sensitive about ... might have done it myself, but I don’t claim to either be an Angel or to never make mistakes.

I still recon that one of the big pluses of this place is people being and trying to be nice to each other. Of course there’s sometimes room for the very easily offended to consider whether a more tolerant view of others would help the world go around. However, and perhaps more importantly, if someone can’t post in a truthful, helpful and non-adversarial way then I’d rather they kept quite and found somewhere else to post - I don’t believe that I’m alone in that view. The spirit of Aloha is important, let’s keep it alive hear.

I'll second that, Graham! (And my "seconding" is not intended in ANY way to take sides or agree/disagree with any point of view expressed by any of my friends during the course of this thread.) I'll just reiterate my thought that we come here for one common reason-- to talk about ukulele stuff. I'm a more politically conservative person, and I am pretty sure that many of the forum members would describe themselves as more liberal politically, but honestly, I don't care, and I think it's a pretty cool thing that people from opposite ends of the political spectrum can come here, put the political factors aside, and just have fun and help each other out in the awesome world of the ukulele!
 
West coast snowpacolypse.

Just thought I’d go OT for good. We’ve covered the original topic quite well.
 
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