pirate looks at 40
Active member
I've been on the boards for awhile, but i didn't post much. So I've decided that i'd post a song I wrote, and If you could please take the time to critique it, that would be well appreciated, thank you =]
I remember the day
that you ended things with me
the man on the t.v said it was 90 degrees
but i was feelin pretty cold that day
and it took me about a day or two
to realize i shouldn't dwell on you
and at that moment i thought of a song that goes like this
[chorus]
Yea you didn't think we were doin so hot
even though i didn't want it to stop
I'm not gonna spend my time thinkin bout you
i've got more important things to do
and maybe if this lasted a lil longer
it probably would've hit me
much harder
but now i've got my mind all set and through
i'll keep on living, yea without you
[verse 2]
And I remember bein frozen in a sort of daze
But i still managed to keep my head raised
And for awhile nobody knew
Yea sure all the times we had were fun
But i guess i could get that from anyone
And I'm pretty sure you could too
[bridge]
If you thought
that we had wasted time
please
don't tell me
Cause i think through it all
i grew...
[instrumental]
[chorus]
Yea you didn't think we were doin so hot
even though i didn't want it to stop
I'm not gonna spend my time thinkin bout you
i've got more important things to do
and maybe if this lasted a lil longer
it probably would've hit me
much harder
but now i've got my mind all set and through
i'll keep on living, yea without you
oooo, without youu
oh I'll keep on,
singing, dancing, doing what im doinn
oh yeaa, without you
video with music soon, and again if you could critique it that would be swell, thanks =]
I remember the day
that you ended things with me
the man on the t.v said it was 90 degrees
but i was feelin pretty cold that day
and it took me about a day or two
to realize i shouldn't dwell on you
and at that moment i thought of a song that goes like this
[chorus]
Yea you didn't think we were doin so hot
even though i didn't want it to stop
I'm not gonna spend my time thinkin bout you
i've got more important things to do
and maybe if this lasted a lil longer
it probably would've hit me
much harder
but now i've got my mind all set and through
i'll keep on living, yea without you
[verse 2]
And I remember bein frozen in a sort of daze
But i still managed to keep my head raised
And for awhile nobody knew
Yea sure all the times we had were fun
But i guess i could get that from anyone
And I'm pretty sure you could too
[bridge]
If you thought
that we had wasted time
please
don't tell me
Cause i think through it all
i grew...
[instrumental]
[chorus]
Yea you didn't think we were doin so hot
even though i didn't want it to stop
I'm not gonna spend my time thinkin bout you
i've got more important things to do
and maybe if this lasted a lil longer
it probably would've hit me
much harder
but now i've got my mind all set and through
i'll keep on living, yea without you
oooo, without youu
oh I'll keep on,
singing, dancing, doing what im doinn
oh yeaa, without you
video with music soon, and again if you could critique it that would be swell, thanks =]
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