Can I have some good thoughts from everyone?

I have had the worst eight days of my life. I don't want to go into a lot of detail, but my wife dropped a big bombshell on me last Sunday evening. We're working on things, and I feel GENERALLY optimistic, but there are moments (lots of them) of abject despair and sadness.

I don't want to sound pathetic, or to BE pathetic. But if any of you believe in such things (and judging from things I've seen here, a LOT of you do), I could use some good thoughts, prayers, Aloha Spirit or whatever you can offer.

I've barely touched my ukes in the past week, and I haven't been on much. I don't have a lot of friends in my town. I don't like most of my coworkers very much. I did tell my closest local friend what was going on the night I heard about it. He's the drummer I've played with on and off for 14 years. He was helpful, as were a couple of my coworkers. It's not the kind of thing I feel like telling my family about, at least not just yet.

It was BIG, and it put a big obstacle in what was already a marriage in trouble (although I guess I didn't really realize how MUCH trouble). We've taken some good first steps toward healing and fixing things. I know there is a way past the obstacle, but at the moment I can't see quite how to get around it. I know that I want to. I hope she wants to as much as I do.

Thank you all for your friendship and support. I can honestly say that, even though I've only met a few of you in real-life, I count a LOT of you as friends. I really do love this place.

Chris

Good thoughts for you, (((Chris))).

So sorry Chris...hang in there, I'm sending good thoughts your way.

Chris I am so sorry. It takes courage to come to the forum and ask for help. I actually think you are quiet awesome and love your post, videos and quirky sense of humor. If you wife has a lick of sense she wants to repair and heal things as much as you do. Hang in their friend, positive thoughts, prayers and heartfelt vibes coming your way.

Wishing you the best in hopes that everything works out . . .

My thoughts are with you buddy. Hoping for a good outcome. Be strong mate.

Nothin' but good vibes your way, man. Take care of yourself.

roxhum said:

Chris I am so sorry. It takes courage to come to the forum and ask for help. I actually think you are quiet awesome and love your post, videos and quirky sense of humor. If you wife has a lick of sense she wants to repair and heal things as much as you do. Hang in their friend, positive thoughts, prayers and heartfelt vibes coming your way.

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There are a couple of things working in our favor that came to mind when I read your post. Of course, I was already aware of them, but reading what you wrote brought them to the forefront again. First of all, my wife also has a very quirky sense of humor. We can always make each other laugh, even when we're feeling down. Second, we've been together in some form or another for 26 years. We met in college (26 years ago last Tuesday, actually, the day of our first counseling session) when I was 19 and she was 18. That's a LOT of history to toss away. We had a year when we weren't together when she went to grad school. She broke up with me that summer before she left to go out of state to school. She started dating someone in her department right away, and I waited about six months before I felt much like dating. At the end of that year, she came back for her sister's college graduation, and we decided to get back together. I dropped out of college and moved from Wyoming to Utah to live with my parents for a few months to save money. Then in January of '91, I moved to Kentucky where she was in graduate school. We lived together for about 2 1/2 years, moving back to Wyoming when she finished school. We got married in September of '93. So, yeah, like I said, that's a lot to throw away, and she knows it too. Of course, history alone isn't enough. But it is a lot.

Chris, I am praying for you now mate, and for your wife and for healing and forgiveness. Marriage is a precious thing and times like this we realise just how precious I guess. Me and my wife nearly broke up a number of times in our first years, as we felt each other out, coped with a child immediately and build a farm. I was also in and out of work and was often depressed. The reality somehow didn't match the ideal. We have stayed together and now found peace and, yeah, real love I guess, 13 years down the track. I admire your bravery mate and am pleased to offer you all the prayers and blessings as I can muster. Through it all the children loomed large in our desire to work through things, and we were also bound by a mutual faith in a God who views marriage as sacred. it is only lately, as I too have been dealing with a number of issues, that I appreciate how sacred it is. Bless you man, there is a way through, keep the lines of communication open as much as you can. Thinking of you mate.

Dear Chris --

Prayers have been said. I hope so much that everything works out for you both. Indeed, 26 years is a lot of history together. Good luck.

Sukie

Thanks everyone for the quick replies. If there's only one good thing that might come out of this, maybe it will be that I can lose some weight, lol. I didn't eat anything for the first 36 hours. I know that's not good. I've been eating since then, and pretty well and regularly... just LESS. Not a lot of appetite. I actually went "running" this morning. I hate running, but it's more convenient than bicycling sometimes, and I can take the dog. I was talking to one of my "clients" at work Saturday. He's 3 years younger than me, and started running in August at a weight of 220 pounds. He just ran 50 miles last week (in one day... it took some "flexibility", given the fact that he's an inmate, so he had to take a couple of breaks at count times). He now weighs 153 pounds. When he started in August, he couldn't make it all the way around the track without stopping/walking. I ran/walked just under a mile this morning, and ran a tad over half of it, on and off. I weigh about 210, and would like to get to 180 or even 170.
So anyway, one way or another, I'll be ok. It just sucks right now. But like I said, we've taken some good positive steps, I think.
Thanks again.

I'm sending you my warmest support and thoughts for the healing of your relationship Chris!

AND to top off an already crappy week, lol... I noticed that someone "Disliked" my "Bungle In The Jungle" video. It was only one, but now that video has a "100% Dislike" rating. They didn't have the courtesy to leave any sort of comment, but that might have been worse, I suppose!

*e-hug*
My life quote will always be: "In the end, it'll all work out"

Oh don't let the "favorites" thing get to you. I think its mostly trolls that spend much time clicking on those things anyway. I don't do it because it's apparently linked to my Facebook, and gets posted there, and I prefer not to trouble my friends with too many of my shenanigans!
Do hang in there Chris. You are much loved here at UU. Remember, all you can do is your best.

Sending you good thoughts, Chris.

Sending you major good vibes, Chris.

Sounds like you and your wife have some Work (with a capital "W") ahead of you. That's not necessarily a bad thing--indeed, it can wind up being a very good thing. But it ain't always easy. We here on UU can't do much but lend a bit of support and sympathy. Hope it helps.

JJ

Ukulele JJ said:

Sending you major good vibes, Chris.

Sounds like you and your wife have some Work (with a capital "W") ahead of you. That's not necessarily a bad thing--indeed, it can wind up being a very good thing. But it ain't always easy. We here on UU can't do much but lend a bit of support and sympathy. Hope it helps.

JJ

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It does help. Thanks again, everyone. Now that "Dancing With The Stars" is over for the night, I had better get off the computer for the rest of the evening. See you all tomorrow!

Aloha Bruddah Chris,
Sorry to hear the bad and sad news....I hope everything works out for you man...it sounds like you both have alot of history and that is worth saving....I am sure and hope things work out
for the both you....Were all here pulling for you...hang in there buddy...Take Care and Many Blessings......Your Friend, Stan

Hoping that everything works out for you Chris. In the end it will, which ever way it goes.

As someone who has gone through what you are going through now, as dificult as it may seem, remember to always stay positive. My marriage of 19 years ended 4 1/2 years ago. It was not what I wanted. There was a third party involved, not on my side. We went through the charade of counseling, but unless both parties really want to try to repair the marriage, it is a waste of time.

I hope that you and your wife can get past whatever hurdles you may face. But if not, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. For me it was a life full of new challenges and opportunities. One of which was learning how to play the ukulele.