To all you married Ukesters! Any advice?

We got married for less than $1,000 and that included security:)

Over 200 guests, live music, pot luck, nice pictures and only had to use security once to escort MIL off premisies (she is a little loopy when she wants to be but we have forgiven her).

My advise, it is your wedding. No one elses.
 
Remember: the wedding isn't the marriage. It's just a party. What matters is not a few hours of one day, but how you treat one another for the next several decades.
 
Don't forget to have fun and don't freak out if everything isn't perfect (because there is always something)[/QUOTE said:
Ditto on that one. Something always goes not according to plan. Let everything slide. DON'T skimp on the photographer (the only thing in the end that's worth spending good money on). You many not care about all of the photos later, but you definitely want at least that one really good one, and you'd be surprised how much easier that good one is to get when the photographer knows what he/she is doing! And don't forget to eat! It's an easy thing to do when you have so many people that you feel like you have to talk to. My husband and I got so little to eat during our own reception that we had to hit the Taco Bell drive in on the way out of town because we were both starving! I think I got one bite of my wedding cake before a waiter swiped my plate while I was over talking to someone.
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We got married in Vegas on a shoestring, one of those wedding chapel deals. I spent <$100 on a "cocktail dress" (that I've been able to wear for other occasions), which was less than it cost for him to rent a tux.

We invited people from both sides of the family (two different states) and had ~15 guests. Reception was in our hotel room. That morning future MIL and I went out and hit up a bakery for a sheet cake and had then slap some wedding junk on it, bought plates, sodas and all of the other stuff at a nearby supermarket. Dinner was the hotel buffet (paid for by my parents as their wedding gift).

We had been living together for several years already, and I never wanted some kind of dream/fantasy wedding, although a lot of women do. Personally, I think it's crazy to spend ridiculous amounts of money on a wedding. $10K goes a long way towards a down payment on a house instead of something that's over in a few hours.

Went to a pot luck wedding once, thought that was an excellent idea, plus the food ended up being really good. :)

Oh, and we're still together after 22 years of marriage. :p
 
We got married quite awhile ago. Several weddings we had attended took the newly married couple away from the reception, to have the photographer do the photos. As someone attending the wedding, waiting a long time for the happy couple to great the guests was pretty tedious, especially if you have to file through a receiving line. So, we didn't want to do that. We had several talented family members take photos, and they seemed to really capture the event. So, no receiving line either, but we went from table to table and visited with everybody. The wedding ceremony was outside the restaurant, with a man made waterfall. The minister didn't think he needed a microphone to be heard, and he discouraged us from amplifying him. Well, he was an older guy, but he didn't know what he was talking about on this occasion. The only people that heard the ceremony was my husband and I. I don't even think the bridesmaid or best man could hear much. Too bad, because it was a nice ceremony. Fortunately, the ceremony was short.

We saved lots of money going with a venue that had a lot of wedding/ reception experience. No need for a rehearsal dinner. Everything was kept simple and they walked us through the whole thing. No DJ, but my husband had made up a tape cassette (yes it was that long ago) with appropriate music for the dance floor (lots of rock and roll). Later, guests played guitar and we all sang Beatles songs (we hadn't planned that, it just happened).

Don't put too much pressure on everything being "perfect". Marriage won't be perfect, so learn to roll with the punches.

–Lori
 
Lori said:
Several weddings we had attended took the newly married couple away from the reception, to have the photographer do the photos. As someone attending the wedding, waiting a long time for the happy couple to great the guests was pretty tedious, especially if you have to file through a receiving line. So, we didn't want to do that. We had several talented family members take photos, and they seemed to really capture the event.
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Ooooh good point! I forgot to mention how we got around that problem. I think it's a tip worth considering...

We simply did the wedding photographs before the wedding! Yes, this meant that I saw my bride in her wedding dress a couple of hours early, so I wouldn't recommend the tactic for any superstitious types. :) We made sure to put the rings on, since the pictures were supposed to "look" like they were taken afterwards. (We took them back off to give back to the best man & matron of honor for the actual ceremony, of course.) We got a lot of great, professional pictures at the church with all the close family, but at the same time we were able to join our guests at the reception immediately after the ceremony. Best of both worlds, IMHO.

JJ
 
itsme said:
Personally, I think it's crazy to spend ridiculous amounts of money on a wedding. $10K goes a long way towards a down payment on a house instead of something that's over in a few hours.
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Totally agree on this point. We got married very cheaply. We were married by a friend of ours in a simple and short ceremony at a nearby country church. Reception down the road at a hotel on the river...had about 50 friends and family. Parents paid for reception also as wedding gifts. Nice night and Eugenie has still hasn't left me yet. Someone had a video camera too and so we have about 20 minutes of film for posterity. :)
 
My wedding was the happiest day of my life. It cost us something like $75 at the Justice of the Peace and we exchanged Walmart rings. Super cheap affair. I think I wore a Donald Duck tie. The reception was dinner at Outback. My wife’s parents didn’t even show up because they didn’t take it seriously.

Money was definitely a problem for us, but we had been together for a couple of years at that point and figured we should just get married before either of us got a real job for insurance and pay reasons and that worked out pretty well.

Since then, a lot of our family has come out saying they had zero expectations that it would last, but we’ve been married for about 17 years now and I still love her like it’s day one.

Anyway, my advice is that marriages don’t require fancy weddings to be a success. Just focus on the love and approach everything as a team and you’ll be unstoppable.

And have fun.
 
Oh, what the heck. Laying in bed next to my in the morning.
Hopefully all went well, all has gone well.

We eloped, came back had a ceremony for my wife’s family. My MIL has finally decided (I hope) that her priest prediction that my wife would come to her senses and leave my Protestant self, was wrong. Still, it’s only been 39 years, so it could still happen.

My quip is:
Life is what happens while you are waiting for the next string to break - quite possibly at the most in opportune moment.

It’s 3:20 am.
I’m gonna try to get back to sleep.
 
Been married 46 years. Enter your marriage with eyes wide open and Afterward keep them half shut. Before you get married you have a picture of the person you are marrying. When that person turns out not to match the picture sometimes or in some area not at all, tear up the picture not the person. Wife and I are Christians. We got married Till death do you part. Wife has often joked (i hope) that the thought of divorce never came up, murder a few times). Marriage is not 50/50 its 100/100. Hope the wedding is all you hope it to be, hope you have a blessed life together.
 
My 20th wedding anniversary is at the end of this month. Here are a couple of things I remember from that day:
My decision to wear converse instead of heels was 100% the best idea. I was very happy with that.
The veil, which my mother forced me to have, was a mistake, and I hated every second of wearing it. People were hugging me and kept pulling it half off, so I finally ditched it.
My husband and I carved out 20 minutes with just each other and a couple of plates of food right at the start of the reception, and it was the best part. We got to eat in peace, have a couple of minutes together, and then were able to go back out, refreshed, and mingle with our guests. Nobody missed us.
Disposable cameras on the tables (pre- everyone has a cell phone with a camera days) gave us many of our favorite pictures, even more than the very expensive photographer. Having a place for your guests to send their pics is a great idea.
Speaking of pics- taking most of our formal pictures BEFORE the wedding was great, because then we didn't eat into the reception (PARTY) time taking them.
DELEGATE. DELEGATE. No, really. Don't plan to do it yourself that day.
We spent $5k total on everything for the day, and I never wished we'd spent more. Sometimes I wish we'd spent less, but... whatever.

Have fun, but it's also just one day of SO many more to come. Like someone else said, the wedding is not the marriage! Enjoy!
 
We got married in 1994 by a Marriage Commissioner at the San Francisco City Hall - what a gorgeous place! The Commissioner, my wife, and two friends.

Our reception was two days later at the San Jose Masonic temple - my wife had contracted with a local caterer, who turned out to be from about 15 miles from where I live in New York, and we had a grand old time. When it was over, our friends - the majority of whom we knew from working at Science Fiction Conventions rolled up their sleeves, and we had everything cleaned up and returned to original condition within 45 minutes... the Masonic Director was astounded!.

Twenty years after we married, we "returned to the scene of the crime". Still a gorgeous place.

We figure that we did something right - we just celebrated 27 years in March, and are looking forward to at least another 30 before she gets sick of me.

-Kurt​
 
We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout....

We paid a friend's daughter to be our wedding planner. A hundred bucks to a duet to sing during the ceremony, a few hundred bucks to the ukulele band to play during the reception, a hundred bucks to each minister (2). A couple hundred bucks for food and drinks, no alcohol, it was in a church.
If people would take a few hundred dollars of the thousands they spend on weddings for marriage counseling, maybe there'd be a few less divorces. I read about a wedding that cost over 50 grand, the couple was divorced three years later...and still owed money on the stupid wedding.
 
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