I'm married recently enough to still consider myself a newlywed, but I'll agree with the above. Having this or that flowers or this or that cake doesn't make you any more or less married than you'd otherwise be!
The only thing that has to happen on that day is the two of you say your vows and get married. That's the whole point. Everything else--and I mean
everything else--is really just fluff when you think about it. Don't lose focus on what's most important about the day.
Anyway, our wedding planning definitely had its stressful moments and arguments. That's just how it goes. Wedding are great proving grounds.
In the end, everything worked out great. Even the weather cooperated.
What worked for us was
simplifying. There was not a single thing we streamlined/simplified/omitted that we later regretted doing. (I could've handled even more simplification, but it was a southern wedding and you can only pare those down so much!)
We didn't have a big wedding party. My sister was her matron of honor and her brother was my best man. We though this was a great way to represent the joining of two families. That was it... no bridesmaids or groomsmen or ring bearers or any of that, and no hurt feelings because so-and-so didn't get picked for such-and-such! No spending tons of money on gifts for dozens of wedding participants either.
For the ceremony, it was all the pastor. No guest readings. No unity candle (not allowed in the historic church we were in anyway). No meditation music. Short and sweet and let's kiss the bride and get outta here!
The processional and recessional music was all the church organist. We're both musicians, so we picked out the selections ourselves (we kept it classical).
Once we found out what a limo costs, we just had the brother cart us out to the reception in his pickup truck. It was a hoot.
Now, as groom, I didn't really get too much say in anything. My job was just to say "yes" and show up wearing whatever tux was picked out for me. But I did insist on live music at the reception. As I said, we're both musicians and we've both played a lot of gigs (including weddings). Music is very important to both of us. At some points in my life, gig money was putting food on the table. I would've felt like I was betraying some part of myself if we went with a DJ.
So we went with a jazz quartet. Drums, upright bass, piano, saxophone, all playing the classic standards. It was the perfect size/vibe/loudness for the venue where we had the reception. No ukuleles were played, but I did sit in with the band on piano at one point and play an impromptu song for my new bride ("When I Fall in Love").
One thing that really worked well for us was not planning a big, complicated honeymoon directly after the wedding. It's bad enough planning and coordinating and worrying (and paying for) a wedding. To then have to fool with packing for a long trip, getting the passports together, plane tickets, hotel reservations, etc.... all on top of the wedding stuff... it really would've been too much. So we took a "breather" day off after the wedding to give us time to settle in and regroup. Then the next day we just drove out to a small, very romantic little hideaway for a couple of nights. (We'll probably do the "big" European honeymoon thing later on.)
JJ