Blunders, Eight-stringed Ukuleles and Random Winged Insects: Voran's blog

I think this has also inspired me to work at getting out of my current rating slump rather than throw up my hands and say 'Oh well, I'm just not gifted enough for this.' I find I do tend to see chess as for the rarest of savants and when I find something hard I think to myself, oh well, that's just how it is, some teenage boy with Asperger's syndrome and six inch thick coke bottle glasses could do this, but not me'.

Which is not the most productive approach. Perhaps I am simply not savant enough but then again I have been avoiding addressing certain weaknesses because that's not as much fun as going for high octane tactics right off the bat.
 
Also if I'm completely honest...I absolutely do have a bit of the ol' Lisbeth Salander archetype in me. I forget my exact IQ but I was referred to Ireland's Center for Talented Youth as a kid.

But I dislike admitting that because I feel it devalues the hard work I put into things. If someone calls me smart I feel as if they're saying I got handed things on a plate and didn't have to try.

I did not get handed the double bishop checkmate on a plate lol. I put blood, sweat, tears, adrenaline and cortisol into figuring that out.
 
And here's me completing all 5 drills! Sometime later this month I'll get me a nice heavy steel bishop necklace

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Something I also think helped was I finally mastered the concept of waiting moves. Some skills such as the rook or 2B mate require things to be done in a precise sequence and if that sequence is off you need to do a nonsense move to use up a turn and reset it. I finally got to a point where I can look at something and go 'ok let's do a waiting move' rather than just keep attacking the king and wonder why nothing works any more.
 
Something else I've learned: Keeping things new and interesting is fairly important. I have been a bit burned out lately and then I changed my board and pieces from cutesy purple to harsh monochrome and now I genuinely love playing and solving puzzles.
 
Dear AI: PLEASE just generate a realistic adrenaline molecule. For God's pants soiling sake. I am okayish at graphic design but I am not skilled enough to freehand one by myself. Unless we want a gritty no frills aesthetic which...okay let's go with that.
 
I saw a joke clip that I won't share details of about how women are annoying burdens and how we distract men from playing chess.

I get that it's a joke...but on the other hand...

Things like that are why I get a bit sick of hearing about the male loneliness epidemic. If I'm a ball and chain why are you whining that you're lonely and I'm too picky and will die alone with cats?
 
If you have cats, you are never alone. Men can be a big PITA if they're whiny and clingy codependent.
 
I think this has also inspired me to work at getting out of my current rating slump rather than throw up my hands and say 'Oh well, I'm just not gifted enough for this.' I find I do tend to see chess as for the rarest of savants and when I find something hard I think to myself, oh well, that's just how it is, some teenage boy with Asperger's syndrome and six inch thick coke bottle glasses could do this, but not me'.

Which is not the most productive approach. Perhaps I am simply not savant enough but then again I have been avoiding addressing certain weaknesses because that's not as much fun as going for high octane tactics right off the bat.
Hey, I can't play the first move in chess. You go girl!
 
If you have cats, you are never alone. Men can be a big PITA if they're whiny and clingy codependent.
Cats are great. My Dark Queen of Doom is now 15 years old and it just...makes her seem all the more special. Like she's this rare collector's item and there's only one of her left in an antique shop. Other black cats exist but they wouldn't be my Xia who I raised from a tiny kitten when I was 19.

Natasha is now 13 too...how fast time flies. She's the pure white one you may have seen in my pictures. My White Wraith. I adopted her sheerly because she was goofing around hanging upside down from a wooden beam and I thought it was hilarious.
 
I do want me a blue insularis viper some day. IF venomous snakes are even legal in Ireland...I need to do a ton of research.

'Buh buh you'll DIE ALONE - ' Why would I pick you and your smelly socks over anything, let alone ice blue perfection?

I know, I know...Venom. Nothing some specialized Kevlar gloves wouldn't take care of. They're just so spectacularly beautiful I get an adrenaline rush just looking at them. I feel privileged that they exist. I feel lucky to be born on a planet where a glittering neon blue reptile exists.
 
I cannot stress how much it irritates me when I see the phrase I love you engraved on a ring.

So disrespectful to the metal.

That stuff was mined from the viscera of the Earth and you choose to carve a stupid schmaltzy phrase on it.
 
It's odd; I'm really into this genre of ambient music on Youtube with ominous low drones and brutalist backgrounds.

It should be incredibly depressing to look at bunkers and wastelands but I find it oddly makes me feel safe and cosy.

I think it's this: it's a reminder that although adversity exists, so does strength. Diseases exist, but so do vaccines. Invasions and genocides exist, but so do tough and fierce military personnel poised to fight those things off. We've all seen what Ukrainian men, and some 15% or so women, are capable of.
 
OMG the bishop and knight checkmate is so damn hard that at this point I'm only learning it out of spite and revenge.

I remember this obnoxious comment on a chess stream...'What a surprise - the gender that has to do stuff to have sex is better at doing stuff.'

I never forgot and I never forgave. I dig that up as motivation when I find something hopelessly too hard.
 
OMG the bishop and knight checkmate is so damn hard that at this point I'm only learning it out of spite and revenge.

I remember this obnoxious comment on a chess stream...'What a surprise - the gender that has to do stuff to have sex is better at doing stuff.'

I never forgot and I never forgave. I dig that up as motivation when I find something hopelessly too hard.
That is good motivation.
 
That is good motivation.
Yeah...I would rather chess not be about grudges. I play because its an interesting mental adventure not because I hate my opponent.

But that comment...

I will never forgive. I will always hate whoever made that stupid comment. I am not a uterus. I have a mind, too.

Upside: I found a specialized class on the bishop and knight mate online and I'm working at it now.
 
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