The Raven Colony: Voran's diary

Other thoughts that come back to me after seeing Resident Evil 2...

There's this talking point among social justice types that society tells women to be unrealistically thin and therefore thin or fit women should shut up forever because we're privileged...and so on...insert fart noise here...

But who the heck is actually telling women to be skeletons? Most singers and actresses I can think of off the top of my head are fit - not skeletal.

Milla Jovovich is pretty damn ropey and muscular.

Sienna Guillory is thin but not in the sense of sick or underweight - she has an enviable set of hourglass hips.

Rhona Mitra is jacked.

Antje Traue is jacked.

IDK. Perhaps I skew towards looking at these body types because I mostly watch scifi and action movies where the heroine has to be able to look convincing while firing an Uzi or running from zombies.
 
More on 'privilege' and how issues are never one way...

I learned today that there are 'Woman Candidate Masters' with ratings as low as 1600 and even 1200.

Why is this ridiculous?

Okay so for anyone who doesn't know: Chess players who get their ratings up high enough or win certain events back to back can get awarded titles. You get one by a) getting your rating up to a certain number and b) proving it isn't a fluke by earning 'norms' ie you have to win multiple events to prove that your high rating is your real ability and not a fluke.

Women for some reason get their own much lower version of these titles. 'Woman Grandmaster' only requires a rating of 2300 instead of the usual 2500.

This makes me want to throw a bucket of manure at someone because it's so counterproductive. Where's the motivation to reach 2500 if you can get a pseudo GM title for 2300? Then we wonder why there's no female counterpart to Magnus Carlsen or Nodirbek Abdusattorov.

At the same time...I hear so many horror stories about sexual harassment that I really don't blame women for sacrificing a bit of Elo for peace and quiet. I don't let anyone know I'm a woman online. My coach knows since he's voice chatted with me but I've asked him not to let that out.
 
Also in fun news I broke the 800 Elo barrier! 806 to be precise. There will certainly be fluctuations before I manage to stay up there but still a nice achievement. I thought it was never coming. Perhaps I'd hit my ceiling; perhaps chess was for people with IQs far higher than mine.

Be cool if I could get good enough to someday win some prize money. I have this little dream of taking my American friend on a holiday somewhere. She has had a rough life with multiple health issues and I'd love to make it up to her. Also we both want to see Amsterdam.
 
I was bored. So I indulged in some more ChatGPT madness.

prompt: write a story about a zombie virus but instead of attacking people the victims lose their vocabulary and can only say the word 'nope'

ChatGPT:
In a world not so different from our own, an unusual and perplexing phenomenon began to unfold. A bizarre virus, unlike any other, began to spread, leaving communities bewildered and scientists scratching their heads. This was not the typical zombie apocalypse where the infected craved human flesh; instead, it was a mysterious affliction that robbed people of their ability to communicate, reducing their vocabulary to a single word: "nope."

The virus, which came to be known as the "Nope Virus," started in a small town nestled between rolling hills. At first, it seemed like a minor inconvenience. A person would wake up one day and find themselves struggling to express their thoughts. Sentences once filled with rich vocabulary and meaningful exchanges had now devolved into a repetitive chorus of "nope."

As the virus spread, so did the confusion and frustration. People who were once teachers, doctors, and artists found themselves stripped of their identities and passions, reduced to a single, monotonous response. Families struggled to communicate, friends grew distant, and society began to fracture.

Among the chaos, a linguist named Dr. Emily Miller emerged as a beacon of hope. Fascinated by the linguistic puzzle, she dedicated herself to understanding the virus and finding a cure. She believed that buried within the monosyllabic repetition was a hidden message, a key to reversing the effects of the Nope Virus.

Dr. Miller established a research center in the heart of the outbreak, where she and her team tirelessly studied the infected individuals. They observed their behaviors, brain patterns, and any variations in the way they pronounced "nope." Over time, they discovered that the infected individuals seemed to experience moments of clarity, fleeting instances where their eyes held a spark of recognition.

Through extensive research, Dr. Miller theorized that the virus was attacking specific neural pathways related to language and communication. She believed that by triggering these moments of clarity and stimulating the dormant parts of the brain, she could help the infected break free from the shackles of "nope."

Months turned into years as Dr. Miller's work progressed. She developed experimental treatments, combining neuroscience, psychology, and unconventional methods. She organized support groups where infected individuals could connect and share their experiences, even if it was through the limited medium of "nope."

Finally, a breakthrough came when Dr. Miller discovered a pattern in the brain activity of those rare moments of clarity. With cautious optimism, she devised a treatment that involved exposing the infected to carefully crafted audiovisual stimuli designed to activate those specific neural pathways. The initial trials showed promising results.

As news of the breakthrough spread, hope began to bloom once again. Families held on to the possibility of reuniting with their loved ones in meaningful conversations. The infected clung to the idea that they could break free from their linguistic prison.

Over time, with persistence and determination, Dr. Miller's treatment succeeded in reversing the effects of the Nope Virus. Those who had been silenced for so long regained their ability to speak, their vocabularies returning to them like a floodgate had been opened. The town that had once been enveloped in monotonous "nopes" echoed with laughter, tears, and heartfelt conversations.

The experience left a lasting impact on society. People learned not to take communication for granted and developed a newfound appreciation for language. The bonds that had been strained were now stronger than ever before, and the world emerged from the brink of linguistic collapse with a renewed sense of unity.

The Nope Virus became a testament to human resilience and the power of communication. And as the town and its people rebuilt their lives, they held onto the lessons learned during the bewildering time when all they could say was "nope."
 
Other thoughts that come back to me after seeing Resident Evil 2...

There's this talking point among social justice types that society tells women to be unrealistically thin and therefore thin or fit women should shut up forever because we're privileged...and so on...insert fart noise here...

But who the heck is actually telling women to be skeletons? Most singers and actresses I can think of off the top of my head are fit - not skeletal.

Milla Jovovich is pretty damn ropey and muscular.

Sienna Guillory is thin but not in the sense of sick or underweight - she has an enviable set of hourglass hips.

Rhona Mitra is jacked.

Antje Traue is jacked.

IDK. Perhaps I skew towards looking at these body types because I mostly watch scifi and action movies where the heroine has to be able to look convincing while firing an Uzi or running from zombies.
Is it that thin/fit women should "shut up forever" or that the messaging shouldn't be that these are the only type of bodies that are "acceptable" and maybe a message of "all bodies belong" should be shared? I've never heard anything that thin/fit women should "shut up forever" because they are thin or fit. The message I've seen most often is that fat shaming is not ok.
 
Is it that thin/fit women should "shut up forever" or that the messaging shouldn't be that these are the only type of bodies that are "acceptable" and maybe a message of "all bodies belong" should be shared? I've never heard anything that thin/fit women should "shut up forever" because they are thin or fit. The message I've seen most often is that fat shaming is not ok.
Let's just not go there because this is a diary rather than a debate group and I don't really feel like digging into it.

I absolutely have been told things like that and yes it IS structural and not just some lone kook if you think about it. Google Frances Chan. Look how Keira Knightley takes so much flak when she looks like this https://celebmafia.com/wp-content/u...ay-in-pantelleria-06-29-2018-15.jpg....hardly underweight. If it were the other way around there would be outrage.

But I would like to leave it there now because I'm in a good mood after a nice walk and I really don't feel like digging up years of raw emotions. Not when I'm dealing with them far better now.
 
I realize my last post was a bit of a cop out...but it's a raw subject for me and I just wanted to vent some emotions.

For most of my life I was 5'5 120 which is smack bang in the middle of normal and yet bizarrely I used to take so much flak until recently for being 'anorexic' or 'too skinny'. It got really wearing over the years.

I'm just reflecting on that now; I do like being heavier and having that extra bit of muscle I always wanted but I do wish I'd had a healthier relationship with the human body.
 
Another thing that has gotten really wearing over the years is that if I stand up for myself at all it's seen as in really bad taste because I'm 'privileged'. It's a one way dynamic where I have to be a punchbag or I'm flaunting my privilege. It comes up in places where it's not remotely appropriate. I posted about vocal technique in a music group and a professional opera singer made a comment body shaming me for my 'skinny and fragile' neck. Meanwhile she was 300lbs but that was totally off limits.

I snapped and made a comment anyway and there was absolute outrage. No one was outraged over her making personal comments about my body but it was the end of the world when I lost patience and did it back.
 
On another note entirely (fun little fact from Inuit culture)...I will never not be amused by the fact that the Inuktitut word for a white person is 'Qallunaaq'.

Such an imposing sounding word. It makes us sound far more badass than we are. A qallunaaq sounds like a 7ft berserker warrior with blood-red glowing eyes.

I'm nowhere near six feet let alone seven nor do I have blood red eyes but I'll accept the compliment anyway lol.
 
Let's just not go there because this is a diary rather than a debate group and I don't really feel like digging into it.

I absolutely have been told things like that and yes it IS structural and not just some lone kook if you think about it. Google Frances Chan. Look how Keira Knightley takes so much flak when she looks like this https://celebmafia.com/wp-content/u...ay-in-pantelleria-06-29-2018-15.jpg....hardly underweight. If it were the other way around there would be outrage.

But I would like to leave it there now because I'm in a good mood after a nice walk and I really don't feel like digging up years of raw emotions. Not when I'm dealing with them far better now.
Sure, no need to debate. I respect that boundary of yours :)

I do wonder, however, if an ukulele forum is the most appropriate place for a personal diary?
 
Sure, no need to debate. I respect that boundary of yours :)

I do wonder, however, if an ukulele forum is the most appropriate place for a personal diary?
I see why not. I enjoy reading other people's. I actually started this one because someone else suggested it. They legitimately wanted to know about the mundane details of my life and why not? I genuinely enjoy hearing about people's niche soups they made for lunch or their exotic pet birds.
 
Again, I will respect your boundary of not debating.

Fair enough.

Be well.
 
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I broke the 800 barrier in rapid chess and even got up to 824. It hasn't sunk in yet. I almost feel as if it must have happened by accident. I spent a long time struggling on a plateau and now suddenly overcoming that obstacle seems...not quite real. I spent yesterday evening watching zombie movies to celebrate.

It's been a lesson in a few things. I've realized that no matter how hard you work it may take some time for changes to show up. I spent about a month on just working at seeing the whole board and not blundering things to tunnel vision and now finally I see the benefits.

I thought for a while that perhaps I had just hit a ceiling and that anything above mid 700s was for people with IQs far higher than mine.
 
It's odd how we think of progress. I often feel like I'm not making any and get frustrated...but only 9 months ago I was 100 Elo and had no idea what I was doing.
 
I'm going to try and keep that in my head in future. Even if you don't think you're making progress you probably are - just not right now. Skills take time to set in to the point that they're automatic and you don't have to think about them. I still haven't truly built a habit of blunder checking everything. I do it when I'm well rested but quickly forget if I'm tired.

Also...I'm trying to work on having a healthier attitude to chess and not getting frustrated the second I plateau or lose some Elo.

I had a duck chess game that put things in perspective how the game can just be fun - not a fight over Elo points. Not an epic battle. Just fun. There's a variant where you have to put a duck on the board and move it around each turn and myself and my opponent were goofing about bantering and being more and more dramatic and we both ended up falling about laughing. Really brought it home to me that it's not all about fighting over points.
 
Also holy crap...I took part in a tournament and it was honestly shocking how many victories I got because people decided they couldn't be assed. I wasn't even winning - we had just got out of the opening and my opponents resigned out of laziness. ?!!!!?!?!?!!?!?!!!!???
 
I can only assume that perhaps they were auto-added to the event and weren't particularly interested in taking part. It's ridiculous...I got victories over people rated far higher than me because they threw up their hands and decided it was too much trouble.
 
There's a perfume I want to try called Adrenaline and Scorched Earth.

Let's be honest you can't name a perfume that and expect me not to grab some.

Holy crap it is SO expensive though. One bottle is upwards of 200 US dollars. WHY.

I can probably get some on Etsy. Still. Why so monstrously expensive.

Sucks. A perfume named after adrenaline and explosions sounds like my ideal signature scent. I'd love some.

Although I'm not sure it could top The Raven by Alkemia. I looooove The Raven. Wish I could actually wear perfumes without being a danger to a medically fragile family member. If I want to wear them I do it only when going off for a long hike somewhere.
 
I went for a nice hike today. Pleased with my progress. I've reached a point where I genuinely don't find it tiring to ruck with a 50lb pack. 80 is still a nice challenge though.

I need some more protein bars. I loooooove the salted caramel ones.
 
Feeling a bit peed off.

Someone complained about me playing my ukulele outdoors...in the middle of the damn day.

This might sound reasonable but I've already given up playing my uke in my own home because my neighbor complains. The same neighbor who reserves the right to have drunken fist fights at 2am necessitating cops being called. The same neighbor whose son threw a dumbbell through a wall in the early hours of the morning after tripping on drugs and getting mad about something.

I wouldn't mind if there weren't all these inane double standards. If you're honestly bothered by noise I respect that but then stop throwing loud parties and committing violent crimes at godforsaken o clock in the freaking morning. Pick a rule and stick to it.

Sigh. I shouldn't take it personally. It's not as if I'm the only one. Rural people suck. They do and say even worse stuff to each other because they're bored and have no life. Someone once started a rumor that a woman on my street was running a brothel and there were cops called over absolutely nothing.
 
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