Today's Chuckle

:ROFLMAO: Once, decades ago, while traveling with my closest friend, I encountered that exact situation (far too late) in a cheap Motel 6 loo. When my buddy (outside the bathroom) followed my yelled order to call the front desk, the clerk’s appallingly unhelpful response was “I can get you a new roll in one hour”.

Suspecting that he’d misquoted the clerk and was viewing my predicament as humorous, I yelled again through the closed door, “The cleaning staff will just have to assume we stole these two washcloths because they’re going straight to the motel lobby’s rubbish bin, wrapped in one of these two clean towels, which would have been your towel, by the way.”

He got the intended message and quickly responded by opening the door just wide enough to pass along two fresh rolls of toilet paper which (as I would later learn) had been stored neatly on a small shelf just outside the bathroom all along.
Oh my god LOL. Imagine waiting an hour to wipe one's bottom
A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant
"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients".
"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.
The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: "So, Murphy, how was your day?"
Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol."
"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor.
"The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir" says Murphy.
"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everyting including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!'"
"Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor.
"I put drops in her eyes".
Gandhi visited England in 1888.
Jack the Ripper began his killing spree in 1888.
Gandhi returned to India in 1891.
Jack the Ripper's last known murder was committed in 1891.

Stay tuned for more disconcerting facts.
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