Today's Chuckle

Five big city surgeons are discussing who makes the best patient to operate on.

The first surgeon from New York says, "I like accountants. When you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second surgeon from Chicago responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon from Dallas says, "I really think librarians are best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order"

The fourth surgeon from Los Angeles chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers... those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."

But the fifth surgeon from Washington DC shut them all up when he observed, "All that’s fine, but you're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine... Plus the butt and head are completely interchangeable.
 
You hear about the midget psychic who robbed a bank and is still eluding the police.
An APB was issued. It read, There's a small medium at large!!!!!!
Rim shot, badoom tsssss.
Then there was the day all the toilet seats were stolen from the police precinct loo. The chief held a press conference and reported they had nothing to go on. :ROFLMAO:
 
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.
 
I made this one up just today. Goes like this.

A cat burglar in Mumbai perpetrated a rash of burglaries, breaking into celebrity women‘s homes, each time stealing only one thing—a sari. This went on for weeks, and the police were clueless (literally).

As pressure mounted on the harassed police chief, a detective called in yet another theft of a costly and glittering garment from a Mumbai socialite.

”Not again!” croaked the chief. “Tell me. Whose sari now?” [Ba-dump-bump.]
 
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