UkuleleBlake
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Those were hilarious. I'm still trying to think of some. I died at:
What do you call a ukulele player who broke up with his girlfriend?
-Homeless...
Hahaha.
ukulele jokes
- Thread starter h-drix
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Those were hilarious. I'm still trying to think of some. I died at:
What do you call a ukulele player who broke up with his girlfriend?
-Homeless...
Hahaha.
Bassukuguy
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Two guys were walking down the street, One was destitute, The other was a ukulele player as well.
Why don't ukulele players ever catch a cold?
-Even a virus has some pride.
What do Ukulele players use as birth control?
-their personalities
How do you fit 100 drummers in a phone booth?
-Throw in a food stamp
What's the last thing a Ukulele Player says in a band?
"Hey guys, let's do one of my songs."
How many ukulele players does it take to cover a Iz tune?
Evidently all of them.
How do you make a million dollars playing uke?
Start with two million.
What's the difference between a ukulele player and a terrorist?
Terrorists have sympathizers.
Why don't ukulele players ever catch a cold?
-Even a virus has some pride.
What do Ukulele players use as birth control?
-their personalities
How do you fit 100 drummers in a phone booth?
-Throw in a food stamp
What's the last thing a Ukulele Player says in a band?
"Hey guys, let's do one of my songs."
How many ukulele players does it take to cover a Iz tune?
Evidently all of them.
How do you make a million dollars playing uke?
Start with two million.
What's the difference between a ukulele player and a terrorist?
Terrorists have sympathizers.
ChamorroDT
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Sadly...I was playing with my friends, just jammin to some Pau Hana and Three Plus, ya know...and then I said...
"Hey guys, lets do one of my songs".....yeah....that died out quickly hahaha
Bassukuguy
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your right tad, these are just recycled "other musician" jokes... but have you ever heard someone do them with ukulele? meh it works for me...
tad
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Hey, don't get me wrong-- I love the drummer jokes, especially...
HEY I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT
mctrmt
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I tell people that when they ask if that's a violin in the case I'm carrying around.
RevWill
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Teacher: Where do you find the Aegean Sea?
Student: On the first, fourth and third strings.
How do you get a ukulele player to stop?
Sheet music.
Tiny Tim's widow is awakened in the night by the telephone. The voice on the other end asks, "Is Tim there?"
"No, Tim died several years ago.
"Okay, thank you."
The next night she is awakened again by the phone. The same voice asks again. "Is Tim there?" Her answer is the same. "No, he died several years ago."
This goes on for three more nights. Finally when the voice asks, "Is Tim there?" the widow angrily answers, "Look, I've told you four times that Tim is dead. Why do you keep calling here?"
"Because it's the best news I've ever heard, and I love hearing it over and over."
Student: On the first, fourth and third strings.
How do you get a ukulele player to stop?
Sheet music.
Tiny Tim's widow is awakened in the night by the telephone. The voice on the other end asks, "Is Tim there?"
"No, Tim died several years ago.
"Okay, thank you."
The next night she is awakened again by the phone. The same voice asks again. "Is Tim there?" Her answer is the same. "No, he died several years ago."
This goes on for three more nights. Finally when the voice asks, "Is Tim there?" the widow angrily answers, "Look, I've told you four times that Tim is dead. Why do you keep calling here?"
"Because it's the best news I've ever heard, and I love hearing it over and over."
buddhuu
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Q: How do you get two ukulele players to play in tune?
A: Shoot one of them...
My favourite other musician jokes don't work so well translated for uke, so here they are in their original languages...
Q: What's the difference between God and a lead guitarist?
A: God doesn't think he's a lead guitarist
Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A: You only need to punch instructions into a drum machine once.
Q: How do you know when a singer is at the door?
A: He can't find the right key and isn't sure when to come in anyway...
A: Shoot one of them...
My favourite other musician jokes don't work so well translated for uke, so here they are in their original languages...
Q: What's the difference between God and a lead guitarist?
A: God doesn't think he's a lead guitarist
Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A: You only need to punch instructions into a drum machine once.
Q: How do you know when a singer is at the door?
A: He can't find the right key and isn't sure when to come in anyway...
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I liked this one the best so far!:biglaugh:
–Lori
RevWill
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The English explorer is traveling through the jungles of Africa with his African guide. Suddenly they hear drums. The explorer gets nervous.
"What do those drums mean?" he asks.
"Drums good. When drums stop, very bad," replies the guide.
They travel on several more minutes. The drums get faster.
"The drums got faster. What does that mean?"
"Faster drums fine. When drums STOP, very bad." says the guide.
After several more minutes the drums stop. The explorer freezes. Terrified, he asks the guide, "The drums stopped. What does that mean?"
"Very bad," says the guide. "Now comes bass solo."
"What do those drums mean?" he asks.
"Drums good. When drums stop, very bad," replies the guide.
They travel on several more minutes. The drums get faster.
"The drums got faster. What does that mean?"
"Faster drums fine. When drums STOP, very bad." says the guide.
After several more minutes the drums stop. The explorer freezes. Terrified, he asks the guide, "The drums stopped. What does that mean?"
"Very bad," says the guide. "Now comes bass solo."
seeso
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Ha ha! That's a good one.
buddhuu
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Two uke players played a New Year's eve gig at a local bar. At the end of the night the manager came up to them and said, "That wasn't so bad. Can I book you to play next New Year's too?"
The uke players glanced at each other, then one said, "That's cool. Could we leave our stuff here in the meantime?"
The uke players glanced at each other, then one said, "That's cool. Could we leave our stuff here in the meantime?"
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