Tips for dealing with performance anxiety/stage fright

[Jangle]

I like this guy, he is so gentle and helpful. Quite a few good tips here for anyone who performs, please feel free to add your own below!

 

[Jangle]

This might sound obvious, but it took me a long time to figure out that I could reduce my clammy/sweaty palm struggles quite a lot by avoiding hot and/or caffeinated beverages or heavy meals before playing.

I wish I had figured that out a long time ago, I just assumed it was something I didn't have any control over.

And, the breathwork he mentions in the above video was also something I was not aware of 20 years ago when I was performing in front of people more regularly. It's really helpful and I find myself doing it all the time, whether I'm playing music or not. Can recommed.

 

[TimWilson]

It happens that we're just now talking about this in the Singing forum (which, for the record, is why I'm now thinking about merging the Singing forum with a new tag into Uke Talk ), featuring advice from our own @Mark Suszko:

Someone told me they would be too scared to perform in public, and I told them I'm basically shy as well. My secret is, I let my alter ego do the performing, and I sort of sit back and watch him. the stage version of me is an "ALL CAPS" version, like a Hulk to my Bruce Banner, ALL CAPS me has zero farks to give, and is happy to play whether he's accepted or not.

I think any shy player can channel their inner Uke Hulk. It starts with super loud singing in the car to the radio or whatever, getting you used to projecting and breath control. I had a job that included a lot of solo driving for hours, so i'd make mix CD's of songs I needed to memorize, and sang along to them for eight hours. It kept me awake on the road but also gave me my volume and eventually it helped me extend my vocal range.

But most of all, it gave me confidence and some poise, because I was so intimately welded into the material, I could just concentrate on performing it.

That advice is included in a thread on Open Mic Experiences that features lots of great advice along with the anecdotes, including how to lock down the right setlist to maximize your chances for success, by reducing your anxiety about performing said setlist. Turns out that feeling good that it might go well makes it more likely that it WILL go well.

 

[Jangle]

I've never done an open mic anything before. That sounds intimidating to the uninitiated. Maybe if it was at some kind of a cafe, never at a bar!

 

[EDW]

Yes, lots of good info there. Through lots of experience I came to much of that on my own and because of many mistakes! But, it all takes time.

I can offer lots on the topic, but the best might be for me to say be well prepared and go have fun!!

 

[TimWilson]

I've never done an open mic anything before. That sounds intimidating to the uninitiated. Maybe if it was at some kind of a cafe, never at a bar!

You asked about performance anxiety, so there ya go! But regardless of the venue, the principles are the same. You'll be more comfortable with the performance if you're more comfortable with singing itself, just as a physical process, even before the psychological components of doing something in front of a crowd.

As in, which is more stressful to do in front of a crowd: sing, or tie your shoes? If the answer is, "About the same," then you might benefit from working on being in front of a crowd. If the answer is, "Singing," you might benefit from being more comfortable with singing.

Maybe a bad example, but I think you can see where I'm going with this. We spend sooooo much time as ukulele players focusing on our playing (of course we do!!!), and typically only a fraction as much time on our singing, it's no wonder that we're not more comfortable singing!

Being familiar with the material may well be part of that. Once you can sing your chosen material as easily as you sing Happy Birthday or the alphabet song, or anything else that you sing a lot (Amazing Grace, Take Me Out to the Ballgame, etc.) you're halfway home, regardless of the venue!

The advice about putting on a "performer persona" is also going to stand you in good stead regardless. I'm an introvert who has do to something similar to go to the grocery store or the doctor. I have to prepare myself to be around people, to maybe even talk to them. Eek!

Heck, I have to prepare myself to talk to customer service reps on the phone! It's a specific effort, and I have to create a space where I can be something LIKE myself, but not EXACTLY myself, because the guy who's exactly like me doesn't speak to people and can't get anything done. That's where Mark's advice to create an ALL CAPS version of yourself, and let THAT persona take care of the performance, resonates so strongly with me.

So I'll never sing in a bar for the same reason I'll never GO to a bar -- people? no thanks! -- but the advice applies even if singing in your house on a Zoom open mic, like the ones we host here at UU the first Thursday of every month, and that @Stoneyrun and Uke Tribe are hosting every week on Discord. Open mics on Zoom are a fantastic way to get going in a low-intensity fashion!

 

[Jangle]

I sing in church all the time. Sometimes I do a decent job, sometimes less.... people seem to appreciate it. Nobody seems to enjoy rehearsing as much as I would prefer, but it is what it is. I have no idea how to sing in a bar I swim in a different pond I guess.

Big agree with being as prepared as you can be. I am just a little sad that most other folks don't find rehearsal enjoyable enough to want to do it any more than is absolutely necessary. Rehearsals are also playing music and can also be fun, right? Oh well.

 

[Jangle]

Also, I'm really more of an instrumentalist at heart, despite how much singing I do. I guess there's more frequently a need for a singer than for an instrumentalist in my "pond".

I don't get as nervous in front of people as I used to. I am starting to understand that most if not all anxiety is some specific manifestation of the general fear of death (which we all have). Once you "die" to a sufficient extent, there isn't much left to be afraid of. The last enemy is death. I'm sure there's a lot to unpack there, on a philosophical level.

Sometimes my body does still betray me...... I'll have that physiological reaction anyway! shaky hand or perspiration, even occasionally my heart rate will jump up suddenly, even when I really don't care what people will think of my performance. I know it's fine, and we're all friends. It's still unsettling and strange to have a whole bunch of people paying attention to you all at the same time. Like..... who am I that you're waiting and watching to see what I'm going to do?

Performing is weird!

 

[TimWilson]

Sometimes my body does still betray me...... I'll have that physiological reaction anyway! shaky hand or perspiration, even occasionally my heart rate will jump up suddenly, even when I really don't care what people will think of my performance. I know it's fine, and we're all friends.

Yeah, "fight or flight" happens in the adrenal cortex, which is pre-cognitive. It happens before your conscious brain gets a vote. There are obvious historical reasons for this. You don't need to know WHY you need to run as much you need to RUN.

But this really is where rehearsal comes in. People talk about muscle memory? This is what they mean. Your body knows that the work is done, and your body is ready for what comes next. Your brain doesn't even need to weigh in.

So in this sense, it's less a fear of death (and you're right, it's more of that than we care to admit!), than it is your body saying, "I'm not ready!" You already know how to get your body ready to sing. Sing!

Church is such a great start for this. I'm old enough that school choir was also a thing, starting in elementary school. Singing in a group. Singing badly, singing songs you don't especially care for, doesn't matter -- just singing. I promise, if you sing for a whole week as much as you sing at a typical church service, both in quantity -- it was 6 or 5 hymns in my congregations, minimum, every week, ymmv -- and VOLUME (I really can't emphasize that enough -- singing at lower than performance volume doesn't count) then you're going to find a HUGE amount of your performance anxiety diminish in that first week.

Go away in one week? No. But if you reduce it by even a small fraction in one week, you've got that much less to reduce it by in the following week. And so on from there. It'll happen faster than you think!

Now, it happens that UU co-founder Aldrine Guerrero, one of the most accomplished, and certainly one of the most apparently easy-going, performers on the planet does in fact wrestle with performance anxiety. Like a lot of pros, he has learned how to use it to fuel his focus.

It also happens that he began his performance career in church as a child, and still plays a major role in his church's musical ministry to this day. (Catch him at St. Anthony's on Kauai on Christmas Day!) Last summer, he answered a question on the UU Podcast about performance anxiety specifically in the context of the performance of a worship song in an upcoming service, and I think you'll find it helpful both in general, and in the worship context in particular.

Note that it's a long podcast! LOL I aimed to have the embed start at 32:45, but in case the player loses track, that's where to go:

 

[ampeep]

Sorry, don't have suggestions but it does get easier the more often you do it.

Thought of one: don't worry about screwing up; everyone does it. (Plus, the audience probably won't even notice it.)

One way to INCREASE stage fright is to not practice before performing.

 

[Mookulele]

Sorry, don't have suggestions but it does get easier the more often you do it.

Thought of one: don't worry about screwing up; everyone does it. (Plus, the audience probably won't even notice it.)

One way to INCREASE stage fright is to not practice before performing.

And even if they do notice, they're generally on your side and want you to do well!

There are loads of clips of famous performers botching things or having a momentary lapse and the audience is totally with them and cheers them on.

One of my favorites is a clip of Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald performing their hit Heart To Heart, which they co-wrote and Loggins released as a single. They performed it live as a duet at an event honoring David Foster (who also has a writing credit on the song), IIRC. If you know the song well, you pretty quickly realize that McDonald has either forgotten the lyrics or lost his place in the song. But he handles it with humor and the audience is totally with him.

And just think of the mighty Adele! People only remember her rare fumbles because she insists on starting the song again (which I don't recommend unless you are Adele). and the audience loves her all the more for it!

 

[Martin Style IV]

I get a surge of something, don't see it as stage fright, more like a surge of energy. Some advice I got early on is to close your eyes and picture everyone in the audience fully clothed. It seems to work for everyone who performs at the nudist colony.

 

[Nickie]

1. Form a band. There's safety in numbers.
2. Hekcle the audience, make them laugh. They'll "eat from your hand".
3. I learned that I'm happiest when I'm on stage, performing. The only thing that embarrasses me is technical difficulties with the sound equipment.

 

[Eggs_n_Ham]

I like this guy, he is so gentle and helpful. Quite a few good tips here for anyone who performs, please feel free to add your own below!

This might sound obvious, but it took me a long time to figure out that I could reduce my clammy/sweaty palm struggles quite a lot by avoiding hot and/or caffeinated beverages or heavy meals before playing.

I wish I had figured that out a long time ago, I just assumed it was something I didn't have any control over.

And, the breathwork he mentions in the above video was also something I was not aware of 20 years ago when I was performing in front of people more regularly. It's really helpful and I find myself doing it all the time, whether I'm playing music or not. Can recommed.

Beta blockers work well for anxiety as well. OTOH, I used to really enjoy public speaking, giving inservices to hospital staff regarding the company I worked for. I knew my subject well and enjoyed sharing the information.

Practice always is key, whatever you deliver!

 

[Jangle]

I would not personally recommend pharmaceutical solutions, but I am aware some people choose this.

 

[MikeZito]

For me personally 'Step VI' (Preparation) is the absolute key. As long as I am prepared and rehearsed before I go on stage, everything is okay . . . obviously I may not be as smooth or as entertaining as I hoped, but at least I was fully prepared before it was my time to play. There have been instances when the open mic ran a little short or was thin on performers, and I was asked to come back on stage and do a few more songs, but I always decline because I have not prepared anything - and attempting to just 'wing-it' usually does not go well. The same is true when I have to speak in public - if I know my subject well, everything is great . . . but when I get asked to join in on a subject that is not something that I have really studied, I say as little as possible to keep knowledgeable people from seeing right through my ignorance.

I am the first to admit that I have no real talent - but sometimes just a little knowledge and a lot of rehearsing/preparation can go along way. Also, as has been previously noted, open mic's are a great place to work on your skills because in 99% of the open mic's that I have ever played, the audience is loose, encouraging and does not expect perfection - they are just there to hear music and be supportive, no matter how good or bad you are . . . and trust me, I have been BOTH!

 

[ukulele extra cheese]

The adrenaline rush that we get before a performance provides some very useful energy. Embrace it! Sometimes it helps to burn off some of the excess before going on with a little bit of physical activity. This video shows how Charlie Watts did it.

 

[The Bumble Bard]

There's so much I can say about this topic, as one of the most anxious performers on this earth. Just as a very anxious person. This topic makes me super emotional and feel like everyone who struggles with this kind of anxiety knows how personal and real it is.

I like this guy, he is so gentle and helpful. Quite a few good tips here for anyone who performs, please feel free to add your own below!

I absolutely love Brandon Acker! He is such a majestic classical guitarist and also a kind and humble soul. That was a great video, thank you for sharing that!

I feel like he and I went to the same therapy program because there was a lot of overlap with what he said and what I've been learning this year - having gone to therapy for the first time in my life for my anxiety and depression, only starting a few months ago. Very helpful tips, not just for performing, but for life, if you live with anxiety - which so many people do. That's the other thing, when you hear of these incredible performers having the same struggles and the same fears, for me that's comforting to know. So many people, most people, struggle with anxiety, but we still treat it like it should be a secret and shameful thing. It's not; it's a sign of strength to share your fears.

The one thing he mentioned about people in the audience not noticing his mistakes, nor how scared he was - so true. There were times I was absolutely petrified being on camera, during online music lessons I've had, when every time I felt like I was having a panic attack, but when I watched the lesson back (that included the part with me being on camera) and it wasn't even noticable at all, nor as disruptive as it was in my head. And in other situations like that, the same thing. For me that was really comforting to realize: That not only will the audience not really notice your mistakes, but they won't really notice your fear, even if you're having a full blown panic attack.

The advice about putting on a "performer persona" is also going to stand you in good stead regardless. I'm an introvert who has do to something similar to go to the grocery store or the doctor. I have to prepare myself to be around people, to maybe even talk to them. Eek!

I can't say how much I relate to this.

But this really is where rehearsal comes in. People talk about muscle memory? This is what they mean. Your body knows that the work is done, and your body is ready for what comes next. Your brain doesn't even need to weigh in.

This is so, so true! Any time I've played for my family in person, I played the songs that I could play while my brain traveled to another dimension of terror, but my hands were still moving and playing.

Now, it happens that UU co-founder Aldrine Guerrero, one of the most accomplished, and certainly one of the most apparently easy-going, performers on the planet does in fact wrestle with performance anxiety. Like a lot of pros, he has learned how to use it to fuel his focus.

I find this so encouraging because he always seems so confident and is an incredible player. It's comforting because we all - almost all of us - have this shared experience.

Well, one tip that helps me if I'm recording myself playing ukulele (another thing that causes anxiety for me) is that I'll do something funny right before to loosen myself up. This has been helping me lately. Also, I record myself playing a lot, record yourself practicing or as much as you can if that causes you anxiety. "Move toward the fear."

One last thing, sorry this post is long, but the ukulele teacher Matt Dahlberg, who has connections to UU, has talked about his performance anxiety as a professional musician. He is a great teacher and a very kind person, so I'll share one video here where he talks about his experience:



Again, sorry this is so long, but I'm very passionate about this subject. I feel that anxiety is something we should all be more opened about and not feel like we have to hide because we all experience it to some degree. Thank you if you read all that.

 

[Bibs]

I absolutely detest being the center of attention and don't care to be around a large group [more than a dozen or so] and am very uncomfortable with more folks around. I tried Toastmasters International [2 years] as young man to help get past my fear of being in front of a group with mixed results. In the last few years I played in a group at different senior facilities and have done a couple of solos.
I think there are at least 4 ways to approach this:
1- Be the 'Expert'.
2- Be part of a group.
3- Totally ignore the outside world and play for yourself. This is the best way for me. It's how I was able to play my solos.
4- @Nickie's way is absolutely out of the running for me.
As an aside, I DON"T sing at all.
I can usually concentrate on a subject so intensely my wife has to literally touch me to get my attention.

 

[peanuts56]

Sorry, don't have suggestions but it does get easier the more often you do it.

Thought of one: don't worry about screwing up; everyone does it. (Plus, the audience probably won't even notice it.)

One way to INCREASE stage fright is to not practice before performing.

I agree the more often you perform, the easier it gets. Unfortunately, I don't perform as often as I would like.
I try to be as prepared as possible when I do. Being retired, I have ample time to practice.
Mistakes happen to everyone. Doesn't matter if you're a beginner or a seasoned pro. Ampeep is correct, the audience probably won't know.
The thing I try to do is stay as physically relaxed when I perform.